Lips Of An Angel
by EdwardCullen'sGirlfriend000
Summary: Set after Edward leaves in NM- Bella and Jacob begin to develop a relationship and eventually fall in love. Bella begins to think that she may actually end up happy- that is, until, Jacob imprints on Vanessa. BxJ
1. Chapter One

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight_

_And yes I've dreamt of you too_

_Does he know you're talking to me?_

_Will it start a fight?_

_No I don't think she has a clue._

_Well, my girls in the next room._

_Sometimes I wish she was you._

_I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name,_

_It sounds so sweet._

_Coming from the lips of an angel,_

_Hearing those words_

_It makes me weak._

_And I never wanna say goodbye_

_But girl you make it hard to be faithful_

_With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

* * *

"No," I growled. "There is _no way _I'm going to therapy, Mom. I wont do it."

"Bella, please. I don't even live in Forks and I can tell that you're in a major depression." she said gently. I wanted to crush my cell phone into a million pieces. My sweaty hand gripped the thing even tighter than I had been before, turning my knuckles alabaster.

It made me so _angry._ And not because my mom was requesting that I go to a professional for the second time in three months. It pissed me off because for the past three months I had been plastering on a smile and had put a ton of time and work into convincing both of my parents that I was going to be okay and that I wasn't certifiably insane. It pissed me off because all of my effort had gone to waste.

"This isn't healthy, Bella. You're lifeless. Dead. It's like you're a zombie." _Ouch. _"Your grades are dropping. You're losing weight. You don't sleep. And you walk around with your arms wrapped around yourself, like your trying not to fall apart on the spot. I just… I don't know what else to do." her voice wavered and cracked with tears.

Obviously, she was being prompted by Charlie. How else was she supposed to know that I was losing weight and that I didn't sleep? Or that I held my arms around my torso to try and soothe the edges of the gaping hole in my chest?

"Mom," I said firmly, "I. Am. Not. Going. To. Therapy. I…I'll spend some time with friends. I'll pay attention in class. Hell, I'll make gourmet meals every night and fatten myself up if it makes you feel better. But there is no way you can make me go to some shrink because I'm sad." I played with the sleeves of my long sleeved tee shirt.

"Bella, you've said that before. I think it's time we asked for a professional."

"No, Mom! I just need some time. Okay? Just give me a little more time." I begged, fighting the tears that were beginning to form.

"Maybe you can come and live with me and Phil in Florida! Oh, Bella, you would love it here. It's sunny, and we're right on the beach, and-" I cut off her incessant babbling with a firm "No. I wont do it."

"Fine, Bella. If you really think that time will help, than we'll take the time. Honey, just do what ever you have to do to get yourself better. And don't do it to make me happy. Do it for yourself." she sniffled. I let out a sigh. _Thank God. _

"Okay, Mom. I'll try, really, I will." I promised. "I love you."

"I love you too, Baby. Bye."

I hung up the phone without another word and collapsed onto my bed. I grabbed my pillow and crushed it to my face and let out the biggest scream into the down feathers. I hurled it at the wall, which knocked over a framed picture of me and my Mom at Disney Land. It landed with a satisfying crash as the glass splintered into a spider web shape. Then I just lay there, listening to the rain splatter onto my window, wondering how the hell I was going to get out of this one.

Obviously my mother wasn't letting this go. And for good reason. So I had to sort through a few things in my head, to figure out how to placate her into believing that I wasn't going crazy.

Jessica, the only real person that I actually wanted to go out with, hated my guts. Her and Lauren had made a very effective non-Bella schedule and followed it. Perfectly. And anyway, the only reason why I really wanted to hang out with Jessica is because she's so stupidly oblivious. She wouldn't care enough to try and dig down deep and get to the real problem of my depression. She would simply take the silence as an opportunity to gossip and run her mouth, while all I had to do was sit back and relax while my parents thought that I was getting better. But unfortunately, she was off the list of how-to-decrazify-Bella. Damn.

I didn't want to deal with Angela- and not because I didn't like her, but because she cared. Because she wouldn't use my silence to her advantage, and she would try to help me, and I would shut her out. And then I would completely ruin what bond we had, and that just wasn't an option.

I couldn't ask Mike to go out for the night with me for obvious reasons. The whole time it would be nothing but him trying moves on how to get his tongue down my throat or getting into my pants.

Jeez, I really should have made a lot more friends when I first got to Forks. It's times like these when I wished that I had more than two loyal companions. Well, Mike didn't really count as loyal, but if I knocked him off the list then that left me with only Angela, and that made me feel even more pathetic than I already was.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I answered flatly. I quickly changed my tone, deciding that I had better at least pretend to be chipper or I was really getting sent off to a shrink. Charlie opened my door and stood in the doorway.

"Did you speak to your mother?" he asked cautiously. I rolled my eyes internally and spread a sugary sweet smile.

"Yup. Everything is going to be fine." I answered.

"That's great, Bells. So do you know when you are starting therapy?" he asked casually, leaning up against my door frame. My smile fell flat off of my face and I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm not starting therapy. Renee believes me when I say I don't need the help of some one else and that I can do it myself." I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't snap out a "thank you very much." Charlie's ears reddened.

"Oh. Well, then, what ever works. It's just… I can't bear to see you like that, Bella. It hurts me. Makes me feel like I'm not doing right as a father." he grumbled the last part, and frowned. My face softened, and so did my tone.

"Oh, Dad, you're doing a fine job of being a father. Honest. It's not your fault that… certain people… can't keep promises." I ground my teeth to keep from whimpering at the pain in my chest, at the feeling of pure abandonment and betrayal.

"I know. I'm being irrational, aren't I?" he gave me a ghost of a smile.

"Only a little." I offered, and grinned back.

"Alright, well, I'm going fishing with Billy. He says the trout are getting really big." he told me, and then pulled on the waterproof vest that he was holding in his hand. _Billy! Oh, why didn't I think of it before? _I thought. _Of course! _I had to physically stop myself from slapping my forehead for being so stupid.

"Um, do you mind if I ride down there with you?" I asked, swinging my legs off of the bed. I stretched my arms above my head and yanked my hair back into a sloppy pony tail.

"You… you want to come fishing with us?" his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, knowing from past experiences that I hated fishing with a fiery burning passion. I shook my head no, quickly.

"No, no. I, uh, I want to go see Jacob." I clarified. "You have to stop at Billy's anyways, right? To pick him up? Can you just drop me there and then be on your way?"

"Yeah, I do. Okay, yeah, sure. Um, get your shoes on. We're leaving in five." he nodded, still shocked at my sudden urgency at actually getting out of the house. Then he turned on the heel of his boot and trudged down the stairs.

"Got it." I called down. My smile dropped as soon as I was sure Charlie wasn't coming back any time soon. _God, this is going to be exhausting, trying to keep this happy-go-lucky crap up._ I sighed and laced up my tennis shoes, and then donned my black jacket.

"Bella?" Charlie called, a few minutes later, from the front door. "Ready?"

"Yeah, Dad." I answered, clomping down the stairs.

"I, uh, I called Billy. You know, to tell him to tell Jacob you were stopping by." he said quietly. I stared at him blankly, wondering what the point of him telling me this was.

"O…kay then. Out we go." he muttered awkwardly and opened the door for me. It had stopped raining, thankfully, and now it was just windy and humid. It was still at least eighty degrees out._ Fork's weather is so bipolar._ I thought to myself, and sat in the cruiser.

We rode in silence, with Charlie stealing some what worried glances my way.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Nothing. I'm just a little surprised that you all of a sudden want to get out." he admitted, keeping his eyes on the road and ignoring my glare.

"Why is it such a shock to you?" I demanded sharply.

"Because, Bella, ever since that boy up and left you've been a wreck." he snapped back just as harsh. I cringed and tightened my arms around myself. _God, maybe I really do need a shrink. I cant even stand to have someone _else_ talk about him and be in the same room._ I took a deep breath and tried not to let the agony show in my voice.

"Please. Don't… don't talk about… him. Please." I begged in a whisper. Charlie sighed.

"This is what I'm talking about, Bella. He was just some douche- pardon my language. I don't see why you're so heartbroken."

I bit my lip to keep from crying; hard enough to draw blood. I swallowed, and shook my head to clear it.

"Charlie, stop. You just don't understand, and you never will. So don't try. Just realize that I'm trying to get better, that I'm trying to be happy for every ones sake. Okay?" I didn't say it in a snappish tone, I said it like it was the truth. Because it was. No one, _no one_, would ever understand. Except me. And how could they? How could I even start to explain? _I'm depressed because the love of my life, who, by the way, is a vegetarian vampire, left me because I'm not strong enough or fast enough or beautiful enough or don't sparkle enough for him. _If they thought I needed therapy now….

"Okay, Bella. Alright." he said, trying to calm me before the water works started. I took a deep breath and nodded. Then he turned a corner and pulled up to the familiar little red house. The front door swung open and Jacob came bounding down the steps that led up to his house. I stepped out of the cruiser.

"Hey, look who made it out from under her rock." he joked, jogging up to where I was standing. I forced a little laugh, but it sort of sounded like I was choking

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Well, come over here and give me a hug." he smiled, his teeth holding major contrast to his russet skin. I stepped into his open arms and lightly patted his back with my right hand. The warmth of his arms was foreign to me, and comforting in an odd way. He pulled away and gave me another smile.

"Come on, let's go down to the beach." he said, starting toward the sound of crashing waves.

"Um, okay. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, kids. Have fun. We'll be back in time for dinner." he called. I nodded and waved once, and then turned my back and jogged lightly to catch up with Jacob, because he was at least two yards away already. I didn't turn around again.

**Jacob POV**

**- - - - -**

_Holy shit._

That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw her as I opened up the front door and walked down the steps. She was way too skinny, and she looked like the wind blowing could simply blow her away if her shoes had not weighed her down some. Beneath dull, lifeless eyes were deep, indigo half moons, and she held her arms wrapped around her torso like she was cold. She was paler than I remembered. It was like someone had sucked the life out of the happy, shy, blushing girl that I had once known and had left the rest of her to wander.

And she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I smiled at her and waved, jogging over to meet her.

"Hey, look who finally made it out from under her rock." I said playfully, trying to make her smile. She gave me a small sound that sounded sort of like laughter- if the laughing person was on death's doorstep.

"Hi." she greeted in a tiny voice, giving me a small wave, and then just stood there awkwardly.

"Well, come over here and give me a hug." I said finally, opening my arms and smiling. She stepped into them and sort of hugged me back. She was so cold; I could feel her icy fingers patting my back through my T-shirt. And small. She was so small. I gave her another smile as I pulled away and began walking.

"Come on, let's go down to the beach." I offered.

"Um, okay. Bye, Dad." she agreed quietly and jogged after me. Charlie said something else, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying more attention to the girl at my side, to the silence that surrounded us like a purple rain cloud.

I cleared my throat to speak, but she beat me to it.

"I didn't bring a bathing suit." she told me in a voice that was almost like a whisper. It took me a moment to realize that she said this because we were going to the beach.

"Oh, no, that's fine. I mean, I wasn't planning on swimming anyways. The water gets really cold when it rains. Even though it's pretty warm out. Which doesn't really make sense, I know. But, I guess that's just how nature works, right? Well, you know what I mean." I realized I was babbling and got a grip on myself.

"Yeah. I do." she said in her soft trill. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"So… how, uh, how've you been?" I asked, trying to fill the silence.

"Fine." she answered simply. "You?"

"Oh, I've been good. Nothing like being a sophomore. The golden days." I said, nodding my head. _The golden days? Where the hell did that come from? Why am I so nervous?_ I thought.

"Um, yeah." she nodded, and gave me a weird look. _God, I am such a dork._

"How's…. Charlie?" I asked, trying to keep conversation up. "And your mom… Roberta, right?"

"Renee." she corrected me gently. God, her voice was so quiet. It was a strain just to be able to hear her, and we weren't three feet apart. "They're good, I guess. Worried." she added after a moment.

"About what?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew why. Ever since the Cullens had left without a single goodbye, Billy had been telling me all about how Charlie was worried about Bella. But I had figured that Charlie was just over reacting to having a teenage girl who'd just had her boyfriend dump her. Now, only being with her for ten minutes, I could see why he was stressing. She was a mess. A depressed, heartbroken, beautiful mess. Her voice dropped even lower, so low that I wasn't entirely sure that I had heard her correctly.

"They think I'm not handling… some things… well." she sounded like could barely get the words out, so I dropped the subject and searched for a new topic.

"Do you like Forks?" I asked. It was the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" she muttered.

"Of course you do. You could always move in with Renee, if you didn't like it here."

"I… I didn't mean it like I don't like Forks. I do." she said after some thought.

"Oh." I said lamely.

By now we had reached the beach. The water was gray, blending in with the sky. Waves crashed gently onto the shoreline, dragging seashells and seaweed along with them as they pushed and pulled in synchronization.

I sat down in the soft sand, and Bella followed suit, bringing her knees up to her chin. She stared off into space for a long minute, and then abruptly snapped out of it.

"I'm really sorry, Jacob." she blurted suddenly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"I know I'm probably a pain to deal with." she said, frowning slightly.

"I don't understand." I said.

"I'm not the most joyful person on the planet, I don't like music, and I always get lost in my thoughts. I'm boring. Bland. Dull. I'm not special in any way, and I'm sorry that it's me what your stuck with." she admitted, avoiding my gaze and playing with her sleeves. Frankly, I was shocked. It was the most she had said throughout the entire conversation.

My tone softened. "You're not a pain. You're just quiet. I don't care for music much either, if that makes you feel any better. As for the thoughts thing, well, I like having a few minutes to think about things sometimes myself. I don't mind being stuck with you at all."

Her cheeks turned the most perfect shade of pink, and for a minute she looked almost normal again. She looked up at me and met my eyes, and then her lips pulled up at the corners, just a tiny bit.

"Thanks." she said in her soft, quiet voice.

"No need to thank me. It's the truth."

Suddenly the sun broke through the clouds, and, though it was still overcast, the world transformed. The water turned from gray to a brilliant blue, the tree's from dull green to emerald, and Bella's locks from flat brown to shimmering auburn, with red and blonde natural highlights.. Then the wind picked up, causing my own hair to whip around my face, stinging my eyes.

"Do you want to take a walk?" she offered.

"Sure. It just suddenly got very pretty outside." she gave me her little ghost of a smile again and stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets.

"How old are you, Jacob?" she asked after some silence.

"I'm sixteen." I answered.

"Seriously?"

I nodded. She seemed shocked that I was so young, and I tried not to let that go to my head.

"Do you play sports?" I asked her, kicking pebbles as we walked along the sand. She gave me a look like I was insane.

"Um, definitely not. I would end up hurting myself and everyone on my team if I even attempted." she said honestly. I could see that she wasn't joking.

"Oh, well, in that case, we aren't going to play any pool with you." I teased.

As the day went on, Bella became more and more comfortable around me. While her voice was still soft and hesitant, her sentences became longer, more than just a few words and syllables, and she began to start up conversations on her own. Her voice became slightly more animated, and she spoke more freely. It wasn't as if she was shy around me anymore, as she had been in the beginning. She became more open, and I took the opportunity to attempt to be closer to her. She even gave me a real smile after a few hours. She only gave me one, but it was more than I had even asked for.

When Billy and Charlie came back from the trip, Charlie quickly grilled up a few fish that they had caught and we ate outside in a small circle. After a while, Charlie got to telling stories about the fishing trip, and ones of the past, with Billy filling in parts when Charlie was laughing to hard to talk. They were all great, and I laughed along with a few, but every time I glanced over at Bella she was staring off into space and playing with her fish and rice, a blank look on her face. When I came around to collect plates and wash them, I saw that hers was still filled; only a couple of bites missing.

"Not hungry?" I asked, taking her dish and setting it on top of the three other plates. She stared at her feet and shrugged. "Come with me inside?" I asked. She nodded and, still focusing intently on her sneakers, walked with me up and into the house.

"You wash, I'll dry." she offered. I nodded and we began work silently. We didn't say another word until it was time for goodbye's.

"Will I see you again any time soon?" I asked, trying to sound hopeful.

"You can count on it. I'll be back tomorrow." she promised in her soft voice. I let her see the pleasantly surprised smile on my face, She gave me a fast hug, and then stepped into the cruiser.

"Goodbye, Charlie. Bella." I said, and then shut Bella's door for her.

"Bye, Jacob." Charlie said at the same time Bella had, through the open window. I watched as they pulled out of the drive and turned the corner.

"See you soon." I added.

------

**(A/N): Okay, so this is my first story with no Edward, so Im really excited to see what you think about it. I have worked really hard, and I would really appreciate it if you took the time and reviewed! Each and every review will be replied to, and they all really make my day. **


	2. Chapter Two

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight_

_And yes I've dreamt of you too_

_Does he know you're talking to me?_

_Will it start a fight?_

_No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room._

_Sometimes I wish she was you._

_I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name. _

_It sounds so sweet_

_Coming from the lips of an angel,_

_Hearing those words_

_It makes me weak._

_And I never want to say goodbye._

_But girl you make it hard to be faithful,_

_With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

**- - - - - - - - - -**

The evening had gone better than imagined.

My imagined version had ended with some type of a mental breakdown- from me, obviously. On the floor, gasping for air as my body threatened to implode. I know, I know. I have a horrible, sick mind. You're telling me.

The reality version ended pleasantly, with the promise of seeing Jacob tomorrow, sweet goodbyes instead of painful ones, and a pleased smile from Charlie as I passed him on my way up the stairs to my room. I changed into a pair of bleach stained sweats and a long sleeved t shirt, and then flipped off the light at my computer desk. Then I crawled into bed and let my mind wander.

In a way, I was glad to be seeing Jacob tomorrow. I knew that it would be better than to be sitting inside all alone with the presence of _him_ lurking around the entire house.

But even comforted with the promise of seeing Jacob again, my slumber was still riddled with horrifying dreams.

The first was of me, sleeping peacefully on a patterned quilt at the edge of a dark forest. The view was as though I was a bird watching over myself. I would be perfectly fine, snoozing away, and then suddenly James would leap out of the forest and sink his teeth into my jugular, draining what little life I had left in me.

The second was of me stumbling around absolutely nothing. I mean this in the most literal sense- I would be tripping, falling, and opening up wounds on my hands and knees on _nothing_. A blank void, that never began and never ended, and I was flailing about like a drunk toddler, falling again and again onto the floor, and then picking myself up and starting off once more.

The third was of me waking up, drenched in sweat, thinking that the terror was finally over, only to find that when I looked around I realized was surrounded by hundred of thousands of bloodthirsty, crimson eyed, inhumanly beautiful vampires.

These dreams reoccurred over and over again in sequential order until finally Charlie came in and shook me awake.

"Bella! Bella! _Isabella Marie_! Stop! Stop, it's me!" he shouted when I attempted to push him away with one hand, and then another. He neatly dodged each of my pitiful attempts, and then grabbed both of my wrists in one of his hands.

This, these dreams, had been occurring ever since that day- the day that _he_ told me goodbye. It wasn't unusual for Charlie to burst into my room to free me from the horrors in my head. Actually, lately I think that Charlie just ignored the screaming because he knew that it was just my nightmares resurfacing, and that I wasn't being attacked by a robber or murderer. And even though I knew that the dreams were coming, expected them, waited for them, the terror never ceased. It wasn't like a roller coaster, or riding a bike- the dreams didn't get easier to handle with time. It was as if every night was that first night, and I would wake up sweating, screaming, and sobbing.

"Bells, it's me. It's Charlie." he repeated gently, pushing back the wisps of hair that were stuck to my sweaty face. I was trembling, crying, and screaming all at once. I still wasn't completely sure I was done dreaming; my eyes were still squeezed shut. Only when Charlie pulled me into his chest, crushing my ribs in a hug, did I realize that I was no longer dreaming. I stopped screaming, but the tears came faster.

"Oh, God, Dad! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" I muttered as I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed.

"It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine." he murmured as he rocked me back and forth gently, rubbing my back in soothing circles. This only made me cry harder, and I had to clench my chattering teeth together to keep from biting my tongue off.

"When did you become so good with emotions?" I wailed, my voice muffled by his shirt. Charlie just laughed softly.

"I'm not." was all he said. I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my shirt and sat back on my ankles. The tears were still streaming down my flushed face, but they were silent, and they didn't rock my entire body the way the shaking sobs had.

"Maybe seeing Jacob will make things better." Charlie whispered hopefully, cupping my chin in his hand softly.

"Yeah." I said hoarsely, wiping away at the tears with the backs of my shaking hands, "maybe, Dad," even though I knew fully well that "things" were never going to change.

A few hours after staring at my ceiling, going over the dreams again and again in my head, I noticed that sun was streaming through my window. I carefully crept to my window, not wanting the sun- this one good thing- to disappear, the way that all the good things in my life seemed to have a knack of. When I reached the window it was still there, painting the sky with an array of hues- From orange to red to pink. I stared out my window for what seemed like an eternity, marveling at the beauty of dawn. I realized that Jacob would be expecting me soon, so I hurried to get in the shower. As the hot water relaxed the ever-present knots in my back, I grinned to myself in anticipation to see Jacob. The smile surprised me- I only ever smiled when I was expected to, or when someone said something that was supposed to be funny. (Humor never really had an effect on me anymore.)

I guess that was when I realized that going to see him was a good thing.

One hot shower, a hair drying, and a phone call later, I was on my way out the door. I had to shield my eyes from the gleam that the sun gave off outside. As I looked up at the sky and saw that, for the first time since I had moved to Forks, it was cloudless and blue. I ran back inside and grabbed one of the unused disposable cameras from underneath my computer desk and snapped a picture of the sky, for me to look back on in the future when the day was completely opposite of this one. And then I got into the truck and began my drive to La Push.

As I was driving I began thinking about my dreams- _really_ thinking about them. What did they mean? _Did_ I need therapy, at least for the dreams? Or did it have to do with the fact that without _him_ with me, I didn't feel safe; I felt abandoned and stranded and useless and unwanted. But that still didn't explain anything, which left me frustrated and slightly annoyed by the time I pulled up to the little barn-red house.

I stepped out of the truck and wondered why Jacob hadn't come out of the house yet. Unlike yesterday, as soon as the truck pulled up he wasn't at the door greeting me. It wasn't as though my truck was stealth-like. You could hear the thing from China. Maybe he was down at the-

A quick hand covering my airways from behind me effectively cut off my train of thought- and my breathing. I gave a muffled shriek, and there was more pressure applied to my mouth. I kicked and struggled to break free of the iron grasp. Then lips at my ear, the breath tickling my neck as a voice spoke. The warmth of the breath sent shivers down my entire spine.

"Stay quiet." The voice whispered; to whom the voice belonged to, I couldn't tell. "Make a sound, and you'll- ouch, damnit, Bella!" Jacob yelped as I sunk my teeth into the meaty part of the hand that was pressed against my mouth. I spun around to find Jacob examining his hand with a slight grimace on his face.

"Oh, it's you! God, Jacob! Don't _do _that!" I scolded breathlessly, placing a hand to my chest. My heart pounded beneath my fingers unevenly. Jacob forgot about his damaged palm and chuckled.

"Sorry, Bella. I thought it would be funny. I didn't know you were going to go all cannibal on me!" His laughter increased in volume and he gave me a playful nudge with his good hand. I stared at him silently, trying to steady my heart rate.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean to scare you like that." He said sincerely. Jacob frowned when I didn't respond, but I was more afraid that my voice would shake and he would declare me completely not-fun. I took one last deep breath and gave him the best smile I could manage.

"No, it's okay. Sorry I freaked out on you like that. You just… surprised me." I swallowed and let out another long breath.

"So, was my face a Kodak moment or what?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Completely! Oh, wow, you should have seen it!" Jacob exploded, laughing again and throwing a bare arm around my shoulders. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but cut-offs- not even shoes. The sun had a very nice effect on his tan complextion- his whole being seemed to glow from within. "So, what do you want to do today?" He asked. I took a moment before answering, trying to think of something we would both enjoy. I quickly gave up on that, considering that I couldn't even walk across a smooth surface without finding something to trip on and he seemed like a sports type of guy.

"What would you normally do on a Sunday?" I asked, tilting my head to look into his eyes- he had gotten a lot taller since last year. He began walking toward his house, dragging me up the stairs and opening the door. Inside the front room was bright; all the windows and the back doors were open, letting in the salty ocean breeze and sunlight. He pulled me onto the couch and lolled his head back. He stared at the ceiling as he spoke.

"Well, on regular Sundays I usually go running, and then I come back and hang out with Quil and Embry. Then we would probably watch a guy movie, like Terminator or something manly and masculine like that," he glanced my way and gave me a quick wink to let me know that he was teasing. "And then I read a book or go for another jog or whatever suits my mood. But on a Sunday like _this,_" he said, pointing to the window where the bright, flawless sky was visible, "I go surfing."

"_Surfing?" _I asked, horrified. There was _no way_ I was even thinking about getting on one of those boards. With my luck, a shark would just come up and eat me right off of the stupid thing like a school of unsuspecting tuna. _Hell_ no.

"Yeah. You know, riding a board on the water…" He sat up and spoke slowly and deliberately as if talking to an incompetent child and made an ocean wave motion with his hand. I jokingly smacked him on the arm.

"I _know_ what surfing is." I rolled my eyes. I let my body relax and leaned my head back. "I'm just not good at it."

"You've surfed before?" Jacob rose his eye brows. I gave him a sort of snort and looked at him from the corner of my eye, not moving my head.

"Absolutely not."

"Then how do you know?"

I sat up and looked at him quizzically, and then arched an eyebrow. "How do I know what?"

"If you can surf." He stated simply.

"Jacob, I'm so clumsy I'm practically handicapped. I couldn't sit on the board right if I tried." I didn't even blush at admitting my reputation of… well… falling. A lot.

"You wouldn't even have to do anything. Lucky for you, I'm so good that you could sit on the edge of my long board and I could still surf without any danger to you. I've done it for my sister Rebecca tons of times." He grinned at me.

"Jacob, you don't understand the seriousness of the situation. I _attract_ danger." I enunciated each word carefully.

"And I _attract_ hot chicks. Your point?" his smile widened. I rolled my eyes at his boyishness but gave him a small smile back. Then my expression turned serious.

"It doesn't matter if you sedated me, Jacob. My luck would crash the board into those pretty little rainbow reefs out there in the water."

"You are _such_ a Debbie Downer. Will you at least sit on the beach and _watch_ me surf? Or am I not allowed within certain mile radius? Your luck doesn't rub off, does it?" he mocked terror, rubbing at the arm that was still around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes again.

"I sure hope not. Or you had better go say goodbye to Billy." I teased.

As we made our way down the beach, after Jacob had called his friends and packed a huge backpack with food and drinks, we were silent. Jacob was humming some song under his breath, and I was staring at the ground, lost in my own thoughts. The were mostly about my mood and how my whole day had seemed to become brighter, the moment that I stepped foot into the Black's house. I was teasing, smiling, and was walking with my arms safely at my sides instead of around me. Being with Jacob truly made a huge difference in me, and I liked it. A lot.

I could hear a small voice calling something from ahead on the beach, which we were still a good ways away from. I looked up from the pavement. In the distance, I could see a boy, maybe sixteen, jumping up and down and waving both arms in the air. He was camped out on the sandy shore, with his surf board wedged in the sand beside him. That was when I realized that he was calling to _us._

"That's Quil." Jacob told me.

"He seems… energetic." I said finally, searching for a non-insulting word for his friend's spazz attack.

"He is. And so much more- I'm warning you now. He is very flirtatious, especially with pretty girls. But don't let it bother you. He means well." I just nodded and kept my head down so that he wouldn't see my blush. A different voice sounded from behind, and we both turned to see who it was at the same time. I could see it was another boy, about one hundred yards away, who looked to be about the same age as Jacob and Quil.

"And that's Embry." Jacob added, waving and smiling to his friend. We both paused while we waited for him to catch up. It took a while- he was held back by the two huge surfboards that he was carrying. When he reached us, he didn't even say hello. He just set the boards carefully down on the cement and hunched over with his hands on his knees, panting. Finally, he spoke.

"Jake, I've decided that you aren't allowed to leave your board at my house until I get a car." he gasped, handing Jacob the one with a big, intricate red rose in the center of the top side.

"And why is that?" Jacob questioned, brushing off the dust that covered his board. It looked like it hadn't been used for a while.

"It's way too damn hard to carry these things all the way down here by myself." Embry admitted. That was when he seemed to realize that I was actually there. He stood up straight, and when he did, I realized that he was even taller than Jacob.

"Excuse my language. And you are?" He gave me a big, toothy grin.

"Embry, this is Bella. Bella- Embry." Jacob nodded to each of us.

"Hello.' I said tentatively.

"Hi, Bella. It's nice to meet you." he greeted pleasantly and held a long, tan arm out to me. He was, like Jacob, shirtless. I met his hand with mine, and my arm looked absolutely white against his russet complexion. I forced a small grin back, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the way he was smiling at me.

"You, too." I said quietly, and he released my hand.

"Alright, so now that we've established our names, let's get going!" Jacob said, faking enthusiasm. He hiked his board up and held it between his arm and torso, and then started off. Quil, who was now close enough for me to just make out his features, appeared to be on his knees, bent over his board. He looked like he was petting it, with long, deft strokes.

"What is he doing to his board?" I whispered. Jacob's laugh let me know that I was completely wrong about my petting theory.

"He's waxing it, so that his feet get a better grip when the board gets wet. I know, it looks like he's petting it." Jacob answered, echoing my thoughts a little too completely. Both boys laughed again and we continued walking along the road side. Our pace was very leisure- _I_ was enjoying the sun, but I think that the boys just wanted to annoy Quil.

"It took you long enough! What were you guys doing, sharing life stories?" Quil said, exasperated, as we finally reached him.

"Yeah. Bella's sixteen and enjoys The Beatles, enchiladas, and long walks on the beach." Embry fired back. I laughed along with everyone else, because even _I_ had to admit that it was funny.

"Actually, guys, she's eighteen. Bella, this is Quil. Quil, don't try any moves on her." Jacob introduced us, and threw an arm around my shoulders. I hoped that the pink in my cheeks could pass off as minor sunburn, instead of the blush that it actually was. Quil glared at Jacob with his dark eyes. Then he turned his attention back to me, and his facial expression did a three sixty. His eyes brightened and he gave me a big toothy smile.

"Hello, Bella." Quil said cheerfully, and we repeated the whole greeting process again.

"So, are we going to surf or stand around in a circle and introduce each other like we're in an AA meeting?" Embry asked. I smirked- the boys were so… boyish. I found their bickering and jokes comical.

"Hell yeah, we're going to surf! Look at the size of those babies!" Quil exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the massive waves rolling towards the shore. They were well over seven feet tall, crashing against the cliff walls on either side of us with ear splitting roars. I winced at the thought of being caught up in those crazy currents, and was glad that I had said no to even attempting surfing.

"Is Bella going to surf with us?" Embry asked without looking up from his spot on the sand, where he was sitting and waxing his board.

"No. She thinks she'll make me crash. Apparently her bad luck is crippling." Jacob sighed, and then turned to me. Then he dropped his back pack onto the sand and crouched down beside it, searching for something inside. After digging around for a moment, he pulled out a folded towel, and handed it to me. "That's for you to sit on, so you don't get your clothes all sandy."

"Thanks, Jacob." I said, and began to spread it on the ground.

"No problem," he answered, and then turned to Quil and Embry. "Let's get out there!" and he took off running. Both of them followed, and I was left alone on the shore.

At first, I worried about the boys, being that they were reckless and playful and the size of the waves weren't exactly comforting, but I soon found I had nothing to worry about. They glided over the water with ease, as if there was someone underneath them holding the board up. Quil and Embry took on very serious expressions as they maneuvered through the glistening water, but Jacob did all of his movements with ease and a smile on his face. It was clear to me that he was the expert of the group, and I made the assumption that he had probably taught the other two himself.

Actually, the sport had a sort of beauty to it- the way that their boards would easily skate from one wave to the next with perfect choreography was mesmerizing, the way that their bodies never seemed to teeter and how they were always sure of their movements; never shaky or doubtful of themselves. It was so graceful, so smooth. And of course, the diamond effect that the gleaming sun had on the water only added to the exquisiteness of it all.

When they had their fill of the waves, they all dragged their boards back up the shore and collapsed on the sand around me. They were breathing heavily, with what seemed like permanent smiles plastered on their tanned faces. I could see the joy that this brought them, and I envied them for feeling what I no longer could.

"Really, Bella, you should try surfing with us one day." Jacob panted, dragging his big black backpack in front of him and curling his legs up beneath him criss-cross style. He dug threw it for a minute and brought up four sandwiches and four slightly warm cans of Cola. He tossed one to each of us, and every one was silent while the boys inhaled their food. I sort of nibbled at the crust, and took sips of my soda. I noticed Jacob eyeing me when I wrapped my sandwich up again and placed it back in the bag- it was more of a worried look. I gave him a small smile.

"Something wrong with your sandwich?" He asked, clapping his hands together to remove the crumbs and sand, then taking a long swig from his can. I shook my head no shyly.

"Not really hungry." I answered quietly. "I, um, had a big breakfast." I lied, trying to reassure him. I hated it when people looked at me like that, and I wanted to convince Jacob that I was completely normal, so that he wouldn't abandon me the way that… other people had.

"Ah. But breakfast was a few hours ago… are you sure?" He pressed. I just shook my head yes, avoiding his dark eyes.

"Okay then. Well, you guys, I'm going to take Bella to the tide pools. She's just been sitting here this whole time- I'm sure she's bored." Jacob nodded to Quil and Embry, and then stood up.

"Oh, you don't have to do that for me Jacob. You can go back out and surf with your friends. I'll be okay." I insisted.

"It's okay, Bella. I've got to let the food settle anyways. We'll go back out when the sun is setting- that's the best time to do it anyways. You aren't depriving me of anything." Jacob argued. I knew there was no getting my way, so I stood up and brushed off my jeans, and then nodded goodbye to Quil and Embry. They both gave me small waves and smiles.

"We'll be back soon, guys. See you later." Jacob added, and then we took off. I stuffed my hands into my hoodie pockets, and Jacob crossed his arms over his bare chest. It was silent for a while, besides the sound of the crashing waves and the squish of our feet in the damp sand.

"You didn't have to leave your friends for me." I whispered when the two boys were out of sight, looking up into his eyes as we walked.

"It's really okay, Bella. I wanted to be alone with you for a while anyways." he added the last part quietly. I blushed, seeing more meaning in his words than he possibly intended.

"Oh."

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just figured that we had planned this day for us and then I invited my friends and left you on the shore alone." he admitted, looking me in the eye.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable." I whispered, blushing deeper, because he had, sort of.

"I'm sorry." he apologized. I was quiet again.

We continued walking, until finally we made it to the huge rocks that held the small tide pools. The awkwardness that had been there before disappeared as Jacob showed me all the wonders of the tiny ecosystems- he knew every name of every creature, knew all there was to know about them, and got a special sparkle in his eyes when he talked about the little hermit crabs and sea slugs and anemones. He even knew when their breeding seasons were and which fish were at the top of the food chain and which were at the bottom.

"You certainly know a lot." I commented, leaning against one of the rocks and dipping my fingers into a tide pool on my right. The tiny fish, I think Jacob called them minnows, darted out of the way and hid in the miniature kelp forest that grew along the bottom.

"My mom knew a lot about them- she would always take me down to the pools when I was younger. She talked about them all the time. I guess it caught on. That, and I studied them for a while after she died." He told me.

"Why is that?" I wondered aloud. When I think of people that I love that are gone, my heart feels like it's being ripped out. Maybe his way of dealing with the pain was different from mine; I wanted to know.

"When I would come across something that she had talked to me about, it made me feel closer to her because the memories would be fresh." he said with a sad smile. I dropped the subject, sensing he didn't want to talk about his mother anymore.

"We should probably head back, if you want to surf before the sunset." I said quietly.

"Okay."

I pushed off of the rock I was leaning on and brushed off my jeans, and, to my surprise, Jacob held out his long tanned arm. I stared at it for a minute, not quite understanding, until finally it hit me that he wanted me to hold his hand. I stared at it for another long moment, trying to decide what to do, and then he dropped it and turned his head away in embarrassment. I was frozen, standing in the sand with a blank look.

"I'm sorry." Jacob apologized quietly, his voice calling me out of my trance.

"No, I was lost in my thoughts again. It's okay." I forced my voice to sound chipper, and reached out with my own hand and grabbed his without a second thought. As our fingers intertwined, I gave him a small smile. He smiled back shyly and we began the trek back to where the other boys were.

In truth, Jacob's gesture had shocked me a bit. I wasn't used to male companionship; in fact, I shied away from any form of contact with guys. I still didn't trust them, for I had learned the hard way how easily men could change their minds, and I know first hand what it's like when they do just that and leave you behind. So yes, any type of friendship or bonds I naturally turned away from, with males or females, actually, for fear of abandonment. Yes, I was the one that had come to him yesterday, and yes, I had promised him I would be here today, but that was to please Charlie. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being around Jacob. But I hadn't expected any sort of connection to form. And now that one had, well, even though it surprised me at times, I guess I wasn't objecting.

After all, if I was being honest with myself, I had to admit the way that being around Jacob had soothed the edges of the hole in my heart, at least for a while. Obviously it wasn't like the hole had healed- I felt certain that it never would, or, to phrase it better, could. But it was like his presence made me temporarily forget the abandonment and rejection feelings that loomed over me constantly, the way the ominous rain clouds loomed over Forks. He had a way of lifting my spirits, even though I was sure they had hit rock-bottom. He made me feel better- alive. And, _if_ I was being honest, I liked it.

So yes, I decided that holding his hand couldn't hurt things.

- - - - -

**(A/N): Alright, there you go. Not a very important chapter, but it does show how Bella and Jacob's relationship is growing- and that's the important thing!!! Anyways, review for me, would you? It would make my day. Thanks a bundle!**

**With Love.**


	3. Chapter Three

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight_

_And yes I've dreamt of you too_

_Does he know you're talking to me?_

_Will it start a fight?_

_No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room._

_Sometimes I wish she was you._

_I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name. _

_It sounds so sweet_

_Coming from the lips of an angel,_

_Hearing those words_

_It makes me weak._

_And I never want to say goodbye._

_But girl you make it hard to be faithful,_

_With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

I pulled up to Jacob's house the next Friday afternoon in tears. I laid my forehead on the steering wheel and let out a choked sob, while wrapping my arms around my torso securely. My nose was running like crazy, but it still managed to feel stuffed and heavy, I had a completely horrible head ache, and my face was flushed and hot. All in all, I felt like complete shit.

I had come here with the intention of staying in my truck until I was presentable, giving Jacob some excuse that I knew he wouldn't buy. But I should have known that I couldn't have hid from Jacob- of course, he had heard my truck's thunderous roar and had come out to greet me with an umbrella. (It was pouring rain.) He had seen my crumpled figure and had turned around to go back inside the house. I was glad at first, because I didn't want him to see me like this anymore than he just had, but to my surprise he came back out a few seconds later with a jacket on, hood drawn up. He had strode over to my truck, and I knew that it would be no use to try and act like everything was okay. Even still, as Jacob opened up my passenger door and slid into the warm cab with me, I tried to wipe at the tears that stained my cheeks and tried to stifle the sobs erupting from my chest. When I found that it was no use, that he had already seen me in complete break-down mode, the tears flowed faster and my head fell into my hands again. I pulled my knees up onto the seat and folded them beneath me.

Jacob was silent as he shut the truck door, scooted over so that our thighs were touching, and settled his arm around my shoulders. My face was buried in my hands, so he couldn't see the look of shock I had. I was expecting him to go right back inside and dial Charlie, so that he could come and deal with his crazy daughter. But instead, he pulled me closer, so that my head was against his chest and I was completely leaning into him, with his arm around me, as he smoothed my hair away from my sweaty face. I didn't question his motives, because right now, this was exactly what I needed. Someone to lean on, someone to hold me while I cried, to erase the abandonment feelings for a while.

I didn't know how long we sat there, me leaning against his chest while I cried onto his shirt, him alternating between brushing my hair away from my face and rubbing my shoulder quietly. As my sobs began to subside and everything was quiet except for the occasional whimper or sniffle, Jacob took my chin and lifted my face up so that I had to look directly at him. I knew that I must have looked horrific- my nose bright red, eyes swollen and puffy, face flushed, hair a mess- but he looked at me in such a gentle, sincere way that I almost wanted to start crying again.

It was clear that he wanted to say something, so I stayed quiet and avoided his gaze. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"Here's a stupid question: are you alright?" He whispered, looking at me directly in the eye. His own eyes were dark and serious, yet kind. I smirked, but then my face fell and I was somber again.

"No." I almost mouthed the word; it was so quiet. Was it possible for your voice to crack while whispering? Because mine had.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, letting my chin go but still gazing intently at me.

"Okay." I answered, unsure, averting my gaze to the steering wheel. No one had ever wanted to talk to me about anything- they all jumped the gun and wanted to send me to a shrink. Jacob's willing to work things out this way made my liking of him intensify.

"Start from where ever you want to. It doesn't have to be from the beginning or whatever." I could tell he was trying to be soothing and comforting and helpful.

"Jacob, everything needs to start in the beginning. Otherwise, where would we be in this world?" I whispered, sniffling.

"Not today. You start from where ever you want to, Bella." He assured me.

"I don't know if you'll be able to understand."

"I'm sure I can keep up." he rolled his eyes. I looked up at him with my eyebrows raised. "Humor me." I wiped at my face with the backs of my hands, removing the last tears.

"Have you ever… ignored someone… because you were upset about something? Even though the reason you were upset had noting to do with them? Just because you were… upset?" I asked. I think that was the maximum number of 'upset's I could use in that statement.

"Okay, don't laugh at me, but I don't understand what you mean." he admitted. I smiled.

"What I mean is… ugh. I don't know how to explain this… Okay. Ever heard of the saying, 'misery loves company'?" I asked, running a hand through my hair.

"Of course."

"I guess I can use that statement to better explain this. Look at it in this way- I tried to ignore someone because I was upset about something. I didn't want to be around someone who was happy and bubbly when I wasn't." _When I _couldn't _be. _I added in my head.

"Ah. Okay, I see what you're talking about."

"It's one of my… friends from school." I didn't think that I could call her a friend anymore, but I wasn't in the mood to get technical. "I've been ignoring this someone for a while now. It's been… like, seven months. And I guess she… just… got fed up, or something. I don't know." my voice was shaking. I wanted to cry again, because talking about it brought back the memories, and I didn't want to relive it again.

"What happened?" he asked. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I swallowed, then continued on.

"She just… blew up at me. Today, at lunch, I tried to sit with my other group of friends and she just… exploded. And said some really hurtful things."

"I'm sorry, Bella. You don't deserve to be treated like that." he told me, hugging me close for a moment.

I buried my face in his chest as today's episode replayed in my head.

The real story was this: Today, just as I was about to take my seat four tables away from my old friends like I usually did, I decided to go and sit with them. Being with Jacob, and seeing how I could be sort of happy again, when I tried, I figured that sitting with them again couldn't be that bad of a thing. I thought that they would be happy that I was talking to them again- not because I was so conceited that I thought they had missed me so much, but because I could tell that at least Angela and Jess had been worried- or so I had thought. Anyways, as I sat down in the empty seat beside Angela and across from Jess, where I had sat before I switched tables, the murmuring that was the usual table conversation dropped. I kept my eyes down and set my tray on the table, and then scooted my chair in and twisted the cap of my water bottle, trying to pretend not to notice the sudden silence. I gave myself a quick glance around the table, and saw that everyone was staring at me, as if waiting for me to start conversation again.

"Hey, Bella." Angela said finally, turning and smiling at me.

"Hey, Ang. Where's Ben?" I forced out, trying to sound happy and chipper. I had a feeling that it didn't work. It was as if someone had flipped a switch- the table occupants starting again making conversation, to my delight, just before Angela answered me.

"Stomach flu." she told me, taking a bite of her pizza.

"Tell him I said 'get better,' will you?" I requested. She nodded. The only one who stayed quiet was Jessica, who was sitting with her hands in her lap and a concentrated look on her face. Her head snapped up.

"Hey, Bella?" Jessica said suddenly, in a sugary sweet voice that I automatically didn't trust. Her brown eyes were ablaze, flickering in a mean, cynical way.

"Yeah, Jess." I asked cautiously, slowly- I didn't like the look she was giving me.

"Um, just a quick question- who the hell do you think you are?" Her words were harsh, but her face held a big, fake smile and her tone was as if we were discussing the weather.

"Excuse me?" I furrowed my brows. She slammed her hands down on the table and leaned forward, looking me directly in the eye.

"Oh, I don't know, Bella, just that ever since your lover boy Cullen dumped you, you've totally ditched all of us." she spat at me, letting the acid leak into her voice. Her innocent, kind tone was gone. It felt like I had taken a knife to the chest at the mention of his name; at the reminder of his leaving. "Where were you when I needed you after my Grandma died, huh? Oh, that's right, you were busy pouting. Or when Mike broke his arm and needed help carrying his books? You have every class with the guy, it would be no trouble to help him, but no, poor pity Bella was skipping class so she could go and sit in her truck and mope_. _You're unbelievable, Bella. You think you can just come back here and everything will be back to normal again, after you've ignored all of my calls, all of Angela's emails, all of our attempts to get you to… to… to be human again? Well, you cant. Oh, andhere's some advice- get over it! He's _gone_! He _left you,_ and there's _nothing_ you, or I, or _anybody_ can do about it!" she was yelling at that point, her face inches from mine, her voice three octaves higher than usual. She stood up quickly, pushing back from her chair so fast that it hit the floor with a clang. I flinched at the loud noise, moving for the first time since she had started her rampage. She didn't even bother to pick it up- she just snatched up her purse and stomped out of the cafeteria, shrieking and shoving at everyone that was in her way.

The cafeteria was silent as they watched in anticipation of what would happen next.

I was frozen- a blank stare on my face, hand in mid air with a fork full of salad, jaw slack. Then, I took a deep breath, set my fork down, gathered my things, and walked away calmly, leaving my tray full of food in front of my now empty seat. I ignored Angela and Mike's yelling for me, trying to hold back the tears until I got out. As soon as I was out the doors of the cafeteria, I was running. Miraculously, I managed not to trip a single time. By the time I reached my truck, the tears were streaming down my face, her words ringing in my ears.

_Get over it! He's _gone_! He _left you…. _There's _nothing_ you or I or _anybody_ can do about it!_

Thinking back on this brought a new round of tears to my eyes, and as they rolled down my flushed cheeks, I didn't try to conceal them. Jacob's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Bella, don't waste your tears on her. She's nothing; a no one. If it makes you feel better, I'll go intimidate her on Monday if you want. I've heard that my biceps are pretty scary." He teased, laying his cheek on the top of my head. I laughed, which sounded especially weird because I was crying at the same time.

"They are." I admitted. "And thanks, Jacob. But you don't have to do that. Though I appreciate the offer." I sniffled and wiped at my face again.

"Hey, it's no problem." He told me. "Do you want to go inside? We can watch a movie." He offered.

"Sure." I agreed. He slid his arms out of their position around me, and we got out of the cab. I hadn't noticed it before, but the rain had stopped, leaving the air muggy and thick. I waited for Jacob to walk around my truck. When he was beside me again, he took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I noticed the hand-sized wet spot on the left side of his grey t-shirt, right on his rib cage, and frowned at it. I brushed at it with my three middle fingers, as if it would disappear at my touch. It didn't. Jacob noticed my disgruntled expression and followed my eyes to his shirt.

"Sorry about your shirt." I told him, still glaring at the spot.

"I'll get over it." he promised, smiling.

We strolled up to the little red house, silent. Jacob led me up the stairs to the door and opened it for me. I smiled at him, and walked into the house.

"Is anyone home?" I asked- the house was unusually quiet and dark.

"Nah- Billy is out fishing. I've been here by myself all day." he answered, flicking on the living room light. I walked slowly towards the plain, white couch and plopped down on it, curling up in the crevice between the arm and the back. He sat down, beside me, close enough that I could feel his warmth radiating off of his skin and could smell his sandalwood scent. He reached forward and picked up the remote, flicking on his little TV. The room was filled with a cheerful show tune from some sitcom that was probably older than dirt.

"Don't you have school?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Of course I do. I was sick today." he smiled and winked, and then let out a round of coughs that sounded about as real as my laughter did these days.

"Oh, very believable Jacob." I smiled, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Hey, I don't need to fool you- just my dad." he shrugged his shoulder.

"I really cant say anything- I left before even lunch was over. I'm skipping too."

"We're such rebels." he teased, flipping through channels.

"Bad to the bone." I agreed, situating myself so that I could lean my head on his broad shoulder. Finally he decided on a channel, and leaned back, getting comfortable.

"What in the world _is _this?" I asked as a man went flying through the air and slammed into a building, which very un-realistically collapsed. A giant green monster-looking thing roared and swung at another man, collapsing yet a different establishment. Jacob laughed.

"I have no idea. Godzilla, maybe." I laughed with him.

I watched as the movie got less and less interesting and more and more terrible- it was, in fact, Godzilla. At one point I quit trying to watch the movie and closed my eyes, trying to get lost in my thoughts, and block out this terrible film. I thought about the day at the beach with Jacob and Quil and Embry, I thought about my mom and Phil in Florida. I tried not to, but I thought about Jessica's rampage- about how everything that she had said was _true_. That I _had _completely ditched all of them. And, though it doesn't make it any better, but while I was ignoring them and all their attempts to get me to act alive again, I had known on the inside that it was wrong. Actually, I had known that everything was _completely_ wrong. And I really couldn't blame Jessica for exploding at me- she had every right to be mad that I thought I could just come back and everything would be okay again after I had left them hanging for so long. I was lucky that Angela had even spoken to me today in the first place. Now, thinking back, I realize that the reminder of his leaving wasn't what had _really_ upset me- it was the truth that had done the job. I was a zombie- not fully dead, able to act alive once in a while, but I could never be the same again. As long as the wound in my chest was there, a piece of my soul would be gone. And there was nothing I could do about that.

Silent tears tumbled down my cheeks. I wiped them away with my hand before Jacob could see.

**JPOV**

When I was twelve, my dad received a frantic phone call from my mother's sister. There had been an accident- a car crash, and my mother had been involved. She hadn't had enough strength even to make it through the helicopter ride to the hospital. She was lost forever. The look on my father's face, the sheer look of absolute pain and despair, had been so heart breaking. The rest of that day had been, and still is, a blur of tears and hugs and funeral arrangements. But if one thing is clear to me, it's that I knew that nothing could ever hurt me more than the look on my father's face.

I had been proven completely wrong today, Friday, at exactly 12:28 PM, when I witnessed the breakdown of a girl who was as undeserving of pain as a newborn puppy. My heart felt like it had been crushed as I watched her try to piece herself back together. As I held her while she cried, I thought of nothing but how badly I wished I could take this hurt away from her; about how I wished I could make everything okay again. I thought about how I wished I could see her smiling and laughing freely once more, the way she had that day at the beach so long ago when I had passed on the story of my heritage to her.

"Jacob?" Bella's soft trill pulled me out of my head. "Can we please turn off this terrible movie? I can feel my brain turning to ooze."

I was still laughing as I got up and manually switched off the TV.

"Do you want to walk down the beach?" I offered.

"Not really." she admitted quietly, averting her gaze. Well, everything was quiet for Bella. Her voice was so soft now- like she was afraid that saying the wrong thing too loud would set you off or something. It was hard to tell when she was being quiet or not.

"Are you hungry? You did say you left before lunch was over." I headed towards the kitchen as I said this, because I was hungry myself. I had actually been in the middle of putting a frozen burrito in the microwave when I had heard Bella's truck outside. I picked it up off of the counter where I had left it in my confusion, and placed it into the microwave. As I punched in the time, she called to me, "No, thanks." I had already known the answer to that question before I asked it, but then again, Bella never ceased to surprise me. I leaned against the counter while I watched the burrito rotate, drumming my fingers on my thighs.

"Hey, Jacob?" Bella's voice was suddenly in the kitchen with me. I averted my eyes from the spinning food and looked to my left, where her voice had come from. I found her standing in the entryway, arms wrapped tightly around her bodice, the way they always were. She was gazing at me intently, her big brown eyes focused in a way that I hadn't seen from her recently.

"Yeah, Bella." She took a few steps forward, so that she was in front of me. She was no longer looking me in the eye- instead, her eyes moved to the pattern of the tile flooring while she spoke.

"Well, um, I just wanted to say something." She looked like a child who had gotten in trouble and knew that she was going to be punished.

"What is it?" I pressed. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. It looked as if she was trying very hard to concentrate, to decide upon something. Finally, she looked up, and gave me a small, shy smile.

"Well…" she took a few more steps so that we were almost chest to chest. She had to crane her neck all the way back to look at me. Then, with a final, tiny step, she closed the distance between us. She snaked her thin, pale arms around my waist, and clasped her hands behind my back. She pressed her face into my shirt and breathed in, and I could feel her smile. Then she turned her face so that her cheek was resting on my chest, and gave me a gentle squeeze.

All of this happened within a few short seconds, but I was so startled by her sudden affection that I was frozen, my arms stiff at my sides. Suddenly my head cleared, and I realized that I was probably seriously hurting her feelings. My arms found there way around her waist and I hugged her back.

"Thanks, Jacob." she whispered.

"For hugging you? You're welcome. Any time." I chuckled, lightening up from my previous frozen status. She tilted her head up to look at me, and I found that she was smiling.

"No. For being here. Being you. For me." she must have noticed my blank expression, because she stopped. "Am I making any sense?"

"None at all." I admitted, grinning. She laughed once. "But I have a feeling it has something to do with me being awesome. I'm going to take it as a compliment. Thanks, Bella. Or should I say, 'you're welcome?"

"Thanks will do." she grinned slightly.

The microwave beeped three times, signaling that my burrito was done. Bella retracted her arms from my waist at the same time I removed my arms from hers. I reached into the microwave and gripped the plate, sliding it out with my left hand and grabbing Bella's with my right. Shutting off the kitchen light and balancing my soda from the counter with the hand that was carrying the plate, I began tugging her gently to my room.

"Where are we going?" she asked, curious.

"The dungeon." I said over my shoulder. She furrowed her brow. "Otherwise know as mi dormitorio" I smiled. She still wore a blank, confused expression on her face. "What? Have you never taken Spanish class?" I asked her, exasperated.

"Nope." she said, popping her lips on the 'p'.

"Oh Lord. We're going to my _room_." I explained, while opening the door.

"You could have just said that in the first place, you know." She told me, standing awkwardly in the doorway as I plopped down on my tiny twin mattress. I folded my legs in a criss cross style and took a bite of my burrito. Still chewing, I reached across the mattress to where I kept my portable radio. Turning the knob left and right, I found the station I wanted and leaned back against the wall. I took another bite of the burrito.

I looked up to see that Bella was still standing in my doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking down at the floor shyly.

"Do I smell or something?" I asked, taking a third bite. She flinched and looked up at me like I had startled her. I rose my eyebrows, waiting for her response.

"No." her tiny voice said. I made a gesture towards her standing in the doorway.

"Then why the distance?" she shrugged and dropped her arms, blushing, fully embarrassed. "Come on then, silly. Sit down. I don't bite." I grinned. "Unless you're a delicious burrito." her eyes showed the hint of a smile, but it never actually reached her lips. She stuck her hands into her jacket pockets and perched herself on the edge of my bed. I could only see the profile of her face, and she still wasn't looking at me. She began fingering the comforter. She looked up at me for a second, saw that I was looking back at her, and looked down again.

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" I questioned. "You're acting like we've never met and I'm some psycho inviting you into my darkly lit room." I was a little offended by her actions. She looked at me for a moment and then pushed herself backwards, scooting until she was beside me, leaning against the wall.

"Better?" she rose her eyebrows, and actually smiled.

"Much." she leaned over me and grabbed the radio, switching it off.

"Sorry." she said at once, realizing what she had done.

"No, it's okay. I forgot- you don't like music." she smiled shyly. I eyed the burrito in my hand once more- there was only about two bites left. I turned it over in my hand and grinned.

"Bella?" I asked in a sing-song voice. She eyed me skeptically, like she knew something bad would follow such a tone of voice.

"Yes?" she answered cautiously.

"Want a bite?" I waved the burrito underneath her nose, using the same tone again.

"No, thanks." she waved it away with her hand.

"Come on… it's delicious!" I pressed, bringing it back up to her face. She wrinkled her nose and turned her face away. "Just one bite." I grinned, holding it out again.

"Is this the game we're going to play, Jacob?" she asked in a serious voice, though her eyes showed that she was being playful.

"It looks like it." I winked.

"You sure that you're ready for this, Grasshopper?" she smiled again, but only briefly.

"I was _born_ ready." I narrowed my eyes and positioned my arms karate style, my burrito hand in front. She turned herself so that she was sitting on her knees in front of me instead of beside me, and I turned so that we were facing each other. "If I can get you to take a bite, you have to… have to…" I dropped my arms from the martial arts position and tapped my chin with my free hand. "Let me think about this one for a minute."

"Take your time. You aren't going to get me to eat that thing anyways- so go ahead. Bet anything you want." she folded her arms over her chest and eyed the burrito disgustedly.

"I've got it. If I can get you to eat _one bite_ of this burrito, you have to try surfing tomorrow." She opened her mouth to object and I held the burrito up to silence her. "Ah ah ah- you said anything I wanted to bet."

"Yes, but who said I was going to be here tomorrow?" she cocked her head to the side in an 'I've-got-you-now' sort of way.

"I did. Just now. Don't you remember?" she rolled her eyes.

"Alright, fine. But I didn't mean you could bet anything… you know…. Athletic." she muttered.

"There were no specifications." I reminded her, waving the burrito again. She huffed at me and rolled her eyes.

"Okay Jacob." she shook her head.

"Victory!" I laughed, and pointed my burrito-free hand up to the sky with one finger pointed, rock-star style. She laughed too.

"But wait! There's one condi-" I shoved the burrito into her mouth mid-sentence, before she could finish her rules. Her eyes widened and then narrowed, the burrito hanging from her mouth, and she slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"Bite it." I told her, laughing. She shook her head and made a "nuh-uh" sound, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

"You know you've lost- come on, bite it." I repeated, cracking up all over again at her expression when beans started oozing out the other end. She caught them with her hand before they reached my bed, but then gave an even more horrified expression when she realized what was in her hand. She shook her hand to get the beans off, but then realized that she didn't want to get it on my bed, and had to keep her hand still. She gave a muffled shriek as she finally bit off the end of the burrito and swallowed so that she could talk, and then gave a very girly "Ewww!" as she ran to the kitchen to dump the beans into the trash can. I was doubled over laughing on my bed, clutching at my abs.

"Jacob? Where's the trash can?" She yelled from the kitchen. I could just imagine her looking at the beans like they were going to explode any second, bouncing up and down on her toes, and my laughing increased I barely managed to call out "Sink!" in between spasms of laughter. I heard the tap begin to run, and she returned a moment later, wiping her hands on a paper towel. Her eyes narrowed when she saw that I was still laughing.

"I don't find that funny at all." she glared at me, plopping down on the bed. I was still chuckling as I moved over to sit beside her, the burrito still clutched in my hand. She shoved at me playfully when I tried to lean up against her, feigning anger.

"Bella, that was hilarious, and you know it." I chuckled again, gasping slightly.

"Having unidentifiable goop land in your hand and mouth is _not_ hilarious." she argued.

"It was not unidentifiable, Drama Queen. It was _beans_." she rolled her eyes.

"Who knows what _really_ in those frozen burritos?" she kept on, wiping at her hands with the paper towel again, as if talking about it made her hands dirty.

"Oh Lord." I laughed. "Get over it. I still win." I reminded her.

"I'm aware." she retorted, but smiled. That was when she noticed that the burrito was still in my hand, and she jumped up off the bed at the sight. After the initial shock wore off, she caught sight of the burrito again and began laughing. The volume grew and grew, and her smile widened, until tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was on the floor, arms wrapped around her stomach, in a fit of pure laughter. I just stood there in shock as she rolled around on the carpet.

She was actually laughing. And smiling. Freely. For more than a three second period. It was astonishing. The sound was so perfect, so heavenly. It was like a thousand wind chimes singing mixed with sunlight and happiness. Her face, set into a smile so wide, her hair fanned out around her… I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was beautiful. This look on her face, this joy and happiness and perfection that emitted from her like light from a lamp, seeing how life-like she actually could be, was so stunning that it almost hurt to look at for more than a few seconds. And to be honest, I liked the way she looked.

Probably more than I should. I had only known Bella for a short time- a very, very short time- but I had never felt like this so soon before. And that had to mean something, right? I mean, I knew Bella definitely wasn't here for a boyfriend, or any type of romantic relationship. The girl wasn't stable, but I accepted that. I embraced that. And somehow, it made me like her even more. Because I knew that if I helped her get through this, helped her out of the depression, that it would bring us that much closer.

"Jacob." her voice brought me out of my head. I shook it to clear it and wiped a hand down my face. She was still on the floor, her upper body propped up by her arms. Her face was tilted up towards me, where I was leaning over the edge of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"It's getting kind of late." she gestured toward my window. I peered out, and realized that the sun was only a tiny half circle on the horizon.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" it sounded awful as I said it, because even though she didn't know the way I felt about her, I did, and it made me feel like one of those teenage guys in a movie waiting to get some.

"If it's alright with you. I don't want to impose." she was so polite and quiet- she reminded me of my sister when she was younger and wanted an extra hour of TV before bed. But this was no act. This was Bella.

"Oh, please." I pushed myself from my mattress and opened a drawer from my dresser. I threw one of my t-shirts at her, and then a pair of sweat pants. "Those'll be huge on you, but the pants have drawstrings, and you can-"

"I'll be fine, Jacob. Thanks." she smiled at me slightly and pushed off the floor, making her way into the hallway. I plopped back down on the edge of my bed and leaned my elbows on my knees. My head fell into my hands and I took a deep breath, running my hands halfway through my hair.

Why did I have to like her? The one girl that I couldn't have. The girl who's heart had already been broken beyond repair, and I was the one idiot who had to start crushing on-

"Um, Jacob?" Bella's voice was back in the room with me again. I sat up quickly and wiped the tired expression off my face.

"Where's the bathroom?" she asked when I looked up at her expectantly.

"Down the hall, first door on the left." I explained.

"Thanks…. Again." she smiled once more and then turned on her heel and walked out again. I shut my door behind her and changed into my own sleepwear- (pajamas sounds so unmanly)- a pair of cutoff sweatpants. No shirt- it got hot in my room at night. I pulled the blanket and sheets down, and moved my pillow from the floor where it had fallen to the head of my bed. There was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said. Bella cracked the door and peeked her head inside.

"You can come _in_, Bella." I chuckled at her obvious discomfort. She stepped inside the room and gently shut the door behind her.

I was right, my clothes were huge on her tiny frame- my shirt went down to her mid thigh, and my pants hung so loose that she had to hold them up with one hand.

"I, um, I called Charlie. He said it was okay that I sleep here tonight." she said, her quiet voice innocent and shy.

"That's good." I smiled, trying to forget about my sudden liking of Bella. She nodded her head. I patted the empty space beside me. Her cheeks flushed crimson.

"Jacob, you… you don't assume… you don't think we're sleeping in the…. In the _same bed_, do you?" her face got even redder, and she seemed kind of angry and horrified and embarrassed all at the same time.

"Wait- what? No, Bella, of course not!" I shook my head quickly, and felt my own cheeks getting hotter. She had to think that I was the biggest douche in the world. "No, I wouldn't… no. You don't assume that we're going to _bed_ right now, do you?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"Well, I thought so… until you said that." she responded, a look of relief on her face, her cheeks fading back to their normal pallor.

"Are you kidding me? No way. This is a slumber party, chica. We're staying up until the moon goes down." I grinned. She broke into a smile too.

"Do I get to braid your hair and paint your nails?" she asked, sitting down in front of me on the bed.

"Absolutely not." I said sternly. Her face fell at my tone of voice. "You can curl my hair all day every day if you want, though." I smiled again, and her face lit back up. She giggledand curled her legs up beneath her. Her hands fell into her lap, and her hair fell into her face when she looked down. She peeked up at me through her lashes, and tucked a strand behind her ear.

"Do you want to know why I was laughing earlier? You know, so you don't assume that I'm a psychopath?" her eyes sparkled.

"I don't assume you're a psychopath. But sure. Why?" she reached over the mattress and pulled my shirt up from the ground where I had left it after changing and spread it out on the bed. For the first time, I noticed the huge, brown, bean stain that covered the front of it- it looked like shit. Literally. I must have clutched the burrito too hard without noticing it, and apparently it had exploded all over my front. I laughed, and she grabbed my shorts from the ground too. She spread those out, and the beans were all over the crotch area- great. She started giggling at the sight of the stains, and I grabbed the clothes and threw them onto the floor again. I grabbed her wrist and tugged gently until she was laying flat on her back. I fell back beside her, arms just touching, and stared at the ceiling. I turned my head to look at her as I spoke,

"I'm never going to here the end of this, am I?" I sighed. She laughed.

"Nope." she laughed harder. "_Duh."_

**(A/N): Thanks for reading! Review, review, review, please! Chapter four up soon. Promise. Did I mention to review? (: **


	4. Chapter Four

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
__And yes I've dreamt of you too  
__Does he know you're talking to me?  
__Will it start a fight?  
__No I don't think she has a clue  
__Well, my girls in the next room.  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on.  
__It's really good to hear your voice saying my name.  
__It sounds so sweet  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak.  
__And I never want to say goodbye.  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful,  
__With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

I laid awake in Jacob's bed, staring at the ceiling. Jacob laid next to me, sleeping, snoring quietly. I know I had made a fuss about sleeping in the same bed, but we had gotten to talking, about nothing and everything. And he had fallen asleep through one of the momentary silences that happened on and off around us. Jacob knew I wasn't the talking type, and I sensed that he didn't want to make me uncomfortable, so sometimes, he just quit speaking for a while and left me with my thoughts. I appreciated that.

But other times that night, I had been more talkative and open then I had been in the past six months combined.

"You know, when I was ten, I hadn't wanted anything more than a puppy." I had said, with Jacob leaning his head on his elbow. "That was it. All I wanted. I begged Renee over and over again, but she kept saying no." Jacob smiled.

"That's horrible. What a dream crusher." He chuckled. I shook my head.

"Well, Renee is deathly allergic to dogs." I admitted. At that he laughed, and I smiled as I recalled the memory.

"I remember throwing the biggest fit- and really, my only fit- in my life. I cried, I knocked over a picture frame, I yelled at my mom… it was awful. You wouldn't have even known it was me; I was such a brat about the whole thing."

"You're terrible." he chuckled again. I nodded, agreeing.

"Well anyways, my mom felt bad, seeing as I had wanted one for, like, six years. But I refused to talk to her. No, really." I insisted when Jacob shook his head. "I didn't say a single word, besides yes or no. I was _mad._ Really, though, your couldn't blame me. I was only ten." I defended myself.

"But my mom did feel bad. I mean, that's what I'm assuming, because when she dragged me out here that summer, there was a Lab puppy waiting for me in my room. Oh yeah, big red ribbon tied around its neck and all. Picture perfect."

"So after being a brat and throwing a giant fit, you still got what you wanted? Spoiled rotten is what you are." Jacob tapped me on the nose.

"I am not! And even so, I had to give the dog away. After two years, I guess Charlie got tired of taking care of it when I was only there for a month each summer." I sighed. "But I could understand that."

"So you could understand that Charlie got sick of your dog, but not that there was no way imaginable that your mom could get one, because she was allergic? Talk about double standards." he pointed out, laying on his back.

"I guess those two years really made a difference in my maturity." I giggled.

"Oh, I'm sure." Jacob grinned.

And that was how it had gone all night. Just swapping stories between the two of us, each time letting the other into their lives just a little bit more. The playful banter continued on and on, until the stories turned into us trying to one up each other. I would tell a funny story, Jacobs would be funnier. He would talk about breaking a bone, and I would have broken a bigger one. I won a lot of these stories, which really wasn't a huge shocker, considering my infamous bad luck and klutziness. And with each story my eyes would get heavier, but I didn't dare close my eyes. I knew that if I did, I would have nightmares, and I didn't need to have yet another breakdown in front of Jacob. I kept myself alert by listening intently to Jacobs stories, picking out details and trying to commit them to memory. As the night progressed into early morning, I found out more about him. He didn't like asparagus. He used to get into trouble at school for fighting. He loved James Bond movies, he'd lived on the reservation his entire life. His sisters annoyed the crap outta him. He missed his mom.

Knowing this, even just these little, tiny details, made me feel closer to him. And it felt nice, to be bonding with someone again, after so many months of being alone with my head. The only thing I had bonded with lately was my Timeless Classics collection and school textbooks. Company was good to have.

Suddenly Jacob stirred beside me, and he yawned and stretched groggily. In doing this he bumped into me, elbowing me in the arm on accident. Realizing that someone besides himself was in his bed, his eyes flew open and he hopped out of bed faster than I had ever seen a person move.

When he saw that it was me and not some rapist, he ran a hand down his face.

"Oh, it's you. Sorry, Bella." I smiled at his sleepy expression and sat up.

"It's okay. You're funny when you're scared." I laughed quietly. He yawned again and sat down on the mattress, leaning back against the wall.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you. It wasn't while you were talking right?" he apologized again, looking embarrassed.

"No, no, you're fine." I waved a hand like it was no big deal. "And even if you did, I wouldn't have blamed you. I'm pretty boring." Jacob just snorted, saying nothing.

"What time is it anyways?" he asked, cracking his neck.

"Around two thirty."

"How come you didn't just go to sleep?" he wondered after a minute. I winced; I had hoped that question wouldn't pop up.

"I, um, sometimes have night terrors." I said hesitantly, giving him the medical term that Dr. Gerandy had used on Charlie when he had taken me to the doctor after two weeks of the incessant dreams. I hoped that it made me sound less insane.

"She has those." he said quietly, looking at his hands. "My sister. Rachel." he added. I didn't know how to respond to that.

"I can understand why you didn't want to go to sleep. My sister didn't go to slumber parties at all when she was younger." he said, looking up at me. I nodded silently. God, he must think I'm a freak. For some reason, I blushed, and I ducked my head so he wouldn't see my pink cheeks.

"Bella, did you hear me?" Jacob wove a hand in front of my face. I blinked and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, what?" I said, stifling a yawn.

"I said, do you want to sleep on the couch? Because it's lighter out in the living room than it is in here. Might keep the nightmares away." he offered.

"That's sweet of you, Jacob. But, no, thank you. Actually, I wasn't planning on going to sleep. But if you want to sleep on the bed, I can go out in the living room. I don't mind." I told him, pushing myself off of the mattress. I twirled my hair into a messy bun and tied an elastic around it on the top of my head, feeling lightheaded and embarrassed.

"No, no, it's okay. I'll just stay awake with you." he said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back onto the bed.

"You don't have to." I argued, shaking my head. Jacob didn't need to lose sleep over me.

"I want to." he smiled at me, scooting back and leaning up against the wall, getting comfortable. "Would you hand me that pillow behind you?" he asked. I complied, and moved to sit next to him. After giving him the pillow, I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, hugging them close. I rested my chin on my knees and took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

"Do you want to tell me what your dreams are about? It always helped Rachel to talk about it." he offered. I broke into a smile; Jacob was _so_ sweet. Sweet, and caring, and friendly, and kind, and helpful, and willing. I could go on forever.

"Not really, Jacob. But thanks for offering." I told him earnestly, answering his question. He nodded his head a few times and then rested it against the wall. I leaned my head on his shoulder, taking comfort in his warmth. I heard the deep intake of breath that came before a yawn build up in Jacobs lungs, but he stifled it before it could suggest that he was tired. I smiled faintly- he cared more than I deserved.

"Have you always been like this?" I blurted.

"Been like what?"

"So… nice?" I struggled for the word, leaning my head back so that I could look up at his face.

"Nice?" he rose his eyebrows, eyeing me quizzically.

"I guess that isn't the word. I mean…. compassionate. Yes, that's it. Compassionate. Always willing to help, always so nice and caring and friendly." I listed off some of the adjectives I had thought of earlier.

"I know what compassionate means. What kind of a question is that?" he laughed. I giggled.

"I don't know- I'm just wondering if you're the same way around other people as you are with me. Because around me, you're great." I said honestly. He cocked his head to the side and thought about it.

"P.S., that was a compliment. You should say thank you." I told him in a parental voice, grinning.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We were silent for a few minutes, but it wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I enjoyed the quiet between us- I was perfectly content with resting my head on his broad shoulder, his long, untidy hair ticking my cheek, saying absolutely nothing. I went to lean in closer, putting my back in a more comfortable position, when a stabbing sensation shot through the side of my neck. I yelped in pain, rubbing the spot with the hand opposite of Jacob.

"Bella?" he exclaimed, looking frantically at the hand on my neck, trying to see what the problem was.

"It's okay, I'm fine, Jacob. It's just my neck- I must have laid on it wrong or something."

"You alright?" he pressed, his brow creasing.

"Actually, no." I said honestly, wincing as I tried to stretch out the muscle. "My neck hurts like hell." I laughed, letting him know I was being playful- half playful. My neck really did hurt like hell.

"C'mere." he patted the empty space in front of him. I arched and eyebrow. "I'll bet you five bucks I can make your neck feel better." I dropped my hand from my neck and folded my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

"Jacob, you really should consider getting help for this gambling problem that you have. This is the second bet you've made with me in a few short hours- you know, they have hotlines and hospitals for this type of issue. " I placed a hand on my heart to show earnest, and continued, "I only say this because I care." He laughed, filling the tiny room with his chuckles. He feigned hurt, letting his head fall into his hands.

"I accept your intervention, Bella." I laughed quietly. "But seriously. I can make your neck feel better." he promised, snapping back to normal-Jacob, patting the bed again. I sighed and crawled over to him, sitting cross legged in the space he had motioned towards.

"Straighten your neck." he commanded. Grimacing, I did as I was told. "Scoot back more. And relax."

"You talk like you've done this before." I said accusingly, forcing my neck muscles to un-tense.

"I have." he answered; I could hear the smile in his voice. The next obvious question was "when?" or "why?", but he didn't continue.

"No explanation on that one, Jacob?" I asked as he cracked his finger knuckles behind me.

"Nope." he said quickly. I got the feeling that he didn't want to go into any more detail on the subject for what ever reason, so I dropped it.

"Do you promise that you aren't going to paralyze me for life? Because you know, if you did, you would be forever swimming in a sea of guilt if you had to look at me in a wheelchair for the rest of your life." I tried to say this without smiling, but I didn't have the will power. Jacob laughed, obviously at ease again.

"I promise not to paralyze you and thus make myself swim in a sea of guilt." he vowed.

"A _never ending _sea of guilt." I added, grinning.

"Of course."

"Bella… Bella… wake up, Bella." I was being gently shaken, Jacob's voice breaking through darkness. My eyes fluttered open, and Jacob's face was right in front of mine, wearing a small smile. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to remember what had happened. I remembered Jacob's hands, like warm, soothing pieces of heaven working on my shoulders and neck. I remembered thinking how amazing his kneading fingers felt on my aching muscles, and then… nothing. Blackness. Blissful, quiet, blackness.

"What happened?" I croaked, my voice weak.

"You fell asleep." he explained. I looked around and noticed that I was lying comfortably in the bed, under the covers, with Jacob fully dressed, lying beside me on top of the blankets. I sat up and pushed my hair from my eyes; it had fallen from its bun while I slept.

"Wait- I… I fell asleep?" I repeated, dazed and confused. Looking out the window I saw that it was light outside, with a layer of gray clouds coating the sky. "What _time_ is it?"

"Nine thirty." he answered, stretching out and folding his hands behind his head, a look of ease.

"In the _morning?_" I pressed. He nodded.

"But… no…" I put a hand to my forehead. "I really slept through the night?" Jacob nodded again, his grin spreading into a smile.

"Wow." I muttered. "What did you do to me?" I asked after a minute.

"I did nothing. You nodded off while I was working my magic on the countless knots in your back." he said.

"Huh. That's so… weird." I said finally. I had really slept without a single nightmare. Not one… I might ask Jacob to do those massages more often. I hadn't felt so rested in a long time.

"Well, you should get dressed. We have a big day today." he chuckled at my expression.

"Right. Surfing. Fun." I groaned and got off the bed, and grabbed my car keys from the carpet, where my clothes from yesterday were folded neatly in a pile. I picked those up too, and slipped on my tennis shoes.

"I'll be right back." I told him over my shoulder.

"You'd better be- don't think I wont go up to Forks and haul your ass right back here." he threatened.

"Oh, that's right. You can drive now. Damn." I said playfully at the door.

"Yeah. And I'm not afraid to use my license for evil. I will totally kidnap you, believe me." he added.

"Alright, alright, I'll come back. I promise." I laughed, opening the door.

"Bye, Bella." he called after me.

"Bye, Jacob." I replied, smiling as I made my way outside.

I winced openly as Jacob casually pulled out two giant death machines from his garage; one for him and one for me. As he balanced the suicide tools on the ground and pulled shut his makeshift garage door, I looked pleadingly at the sky, asking God to cause the surfboards to spontaneously burst into flames… inconspicuously, of course.

"Bella, you alright?" Jacob asked, pushing the smaller surfboard towards me. I bit my lip and hesitantly reached for it, half thinking that it would electrocute me when I touched it.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just fine. Perfect. Why do you ask?" I muttered defensively, gingerly lifting the board and tucking it under my arm awkwardly.

"Because all the color is completely gone from your face and you're looking at the boards like they're going to eat you or something." he teased. I rolled my eyes, irritated that he had so easily read my face. When he turned away I pinched at my cheeks, trying to give myself some color, to deter him from thinking that I was going to have yet another breakdown in front of him.

"Let's go." he said, and we started off towards the beach. I was a little slow, because the surfboard actually was pretty heavy, and I hadn't exactly been keeping up on my daily doses of protein.

When we reached the sandy shores, I stopped and stared at the endless stretch of ocean water while Jacob continued on obliviously. It took him a moment to realize that I wasn't beside him any longer, and when he did he turned around and looked at me.

"Come on, Bella." he said, waving an arm towards the water. When I didn't answer, he spun around completely and jogged lightly to where I was standing, frozen. "Bella? Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he pressed, looking into my eyes. I squinted and looked up at him, and before I could lie and tell him that I was going to be fine a rush of word vomit tumbled out of my mouth.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jacob! I don't think that I'm qualified to get on that thing!" I pointed at the surfboard that I had dropped on the sand. I spoke frantically, my voice raising octaves each time a different scenario popped into my head. "I mean, what if I get pulled out by a rip tide, or if something happens to you and I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean on the surfboard? Or what if a shark comes up and bites my leg off, and then finishes off with you? Or if I'm riding a wave and it crashes into the cliff face? Or if lightning strikes us, and no one hears from us ever again? Or maybe a flying ice cream truck will fall out of the sky and flatten us both, before we even get a chance to get in the water! There are so many things that I haven't done, Jacob! So many things I haven't seen! I just don't want to die out here!" I finally stopped yelling, but only because I was out of air and needed to breathe. I stood there, panting from lack of oxygen, while Jacob stared at me blankly.

"Jacob?" I said finally, when he still hadn't responded after two minutes. I ran a hand in front of his face, trying to get him to snap out of it. That seemed to have awakened him somehow, because he blinked twice and looked me in the eye. Then, without warning, he exploded with laughter.

"Bella, seriously? Shark attacks? Lightning strikes? Flying_ ice cream trucks?_ Did you get that from a TV show? Come on now. We don't even _have_ sharks in these waters!" he chuckled, and threw an arm around me. "You really are something, Bella." He began dragging me forward, until he found a spot that he apparently found suitable. I was silent, back to sending God silent prayers.

"But Jacob, you don't know if something bad is going to happen. You cant stop them- that's why they're called _accidents_. No one means for them to happen- they aren't called on-purposes." I countered, ignoring his on-going laughter. He wedged his board into the sand, then took mine from me and did the same to it. He turned around and faced me so that we were almost chest to chest, and put a hand on each of my shoulders. He squeezed them reassuringly as he spoke.

"Bella Swan. Calm. Down." he said sternly, gazing into my eyes. I tilted my head back so that I could see his whole face. "I solemnly swear, that I will never, not in a million years, never, ever, _ever,_ let anything bad happen to you while you are in my presence." he promised.

"I didn't know that you could stop lightning strikes from occurring or could control wave movements. Have you acquired any new super powers recently that I don't know about?" I retorted, rolling my eyes. He rolled his eyes in return, but his face was still serious. His hands then moved from my shoulders to my face. He gripped it firmly, giving me no possible way to escape him firm stare.

"Bella, please." he spoke in a whisper now. "Don't you trust me?" His question pulled me up short.

"Of course I trust you, Jacob." I answered immediately.

"Okay then, let's go." his hands let go of my face, but I didn't move.

"I'm confused." I admitted.

"You said you trust me. And I promise not to let anything bad happen to you. So come on, before the swell dies down." he turned away from me and pulled our boards from the sand, and handed me mine. I stood dazedly, and furrowed my brows. Jacob stared at me for a long moment, and then sighed.

"Do you want to go home, Bella?" he asked, defeated.

"No!" I almost shouted, shaking my head and stepping towards him. I was absolutely not going back home, so I could sit in my room all day, alone with my thoughts. I lowered my voice to a more appropriate volume and continued. "No. I don't want to go home. I'm sorry I'm being difficult- its just the responsible, stick-in-the-mud part of me talking. I'll get over it in a minute." I promised. He eyed me warily, doubtfully. "Honestly. I'll be fine." I insisted. He sighed again.

"Okay. If you're sure." He set his board on the sand, pulled out a bar of surfing wax from his pocket, and began methodically applying it. I followed his example and set my board next to his, and waited until he was done with the wax. When he was satisfied with the coating of the filmy, milky looking glaze over his board, he turned slightly and began working on the board I was using.

"I'll do it, Jacob. You don't have to." I said, trying to take the bar from his hands. Jacob just laughed once.

"It's tough work, Bella. You can try it, though, if you want." he said skeptically, handing me the bar. I held it in my hand like I would hold a sponge to wash dishes, the way I had seen Jacob and his friends do it, and stroked the board once. It didn't even leave a mark. I put more pressure into it, and yet, it still didn't want to apply itself to the board. I frowned at it, and pushed harder still- finally, I got a tiny smudge out of it after using almost all of my strength. I moved up and down for a moment, applying the same force, but after only a few strokes I was winded. Surrendering, I handed the bar back to Jacob.

"It didn't want to stick to the board." I grumbled. Jacob chuckled quietly and went to work. In no time, the board was coated evenly, which had me narrowing my eyes at the wax. Stupid thing. Jacob hadn't even broken a sweat.

He straightened and stood up and I followed, my knees cracking. In one swift motion, Jacob had his shirt off and onto the sand. He quickly pulled his smooth, glossy hair into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and began stretching his arm muscles. I stood there, unaware of what I should be doing.

"Are you surfing in that?" he asked, looking pointedly at my grey t-shirt and sweat shorts. I nodded- no way was I exposing my black bathing suit- the only one I owned- underneath my clothes. Hell, I felt exposed enough in the shorts. They didn't even reach my fingertips completely, and were clingy, made of a tight, black cotton. I suddenly had the strong urge to go put on a pair of long pants, or a wet suit, which would cover me neck to ankle, but calmed myself with the fact that it was only Jacob.

The thought surprised me- how quickly I was put at ease, because 'it was Jacob.' Around anyone else- not only a boy, but anyone- I wouldn't even be in the short sleeves. I would be in my hoodie, and jeans. And tennis shoes. Yet here I stood, in the shortest shorts I owned, with a shirt that had sleeves shorter than six inches in width. Now that I thought about it, I was so much more comfortable around Jacob than I ever thought I could be- around anyone. It had only been a week, and yet, I was more open with him and had been through more than I had been with Jessica or Angela put together. I could tell that there was a nice friendship forming, and prayed that it would last.

"Alright, are you ready to go?" he asked, oblivious to my reverie. I nodded and smiled weakly, hoping that my face didn't betray the nauseous, churning feeling inside me. Jacob began walking towards the waves without his surf board.

"Don't we, like, need those?" I said, following him. I pointed over my shoulder to where our boards were lodged in the sand.

"The water is probably cold, and you always want to get used to it before you go out there." he explained.

"You and your friends didn't seem like you were limbering up to brace the cold water on Sunday." I pointed out.

"Sorry, I meant to say that you want to get used to the water if you're inexperienced and have a lack of common surf know-how." he retorted, winking. I rolled my eyes and shoved at him playfully, probably giving myself a bruise. Jacob had some serious muscles.

When we reached the water, Jacob dove right in, swimming expertly beneath the waves to avoid getting tossed around. Me, on the other hand, dipped a tow into the water when a wave rolled up in front of me and yelped at the iciness. Jacob laughed at my girly moment, and waded back to the shore. Dripping, he took my hand.

"Gah! Get away from me, you're soaked!" I complained when his hand met mine. His hand was cold from the water, and his hair was dripping on me. Jacob chuckled again.

"Come on, it's easier if you just jump right in." he told me, trying to pull me towards the gray waves.

"Whoever told you that was _lying._" I muttered, gasping when Jacob had dragged me out farther. The water was at least three quarters of an inch above my ankles, and already I was shivering. My flesh goose bumped and I wrapped my arms around my torso, but not for the usual reason- it was _cold._ And I was in _shorts._

When I told this to Jacob, he laughed again.

"I'm in shorts, too, and I don't have the luxury of a T-shirt." He said, pinching the cotton fabric at the hem between his fingers.

Slowly we made our way out, and before I realized it, (okay, I definitely realized it) I was up to my waist, the bottom of my shirt wet and heavy.

"On the count of three." Jacob warned.

"No, no, no!" I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut. "Wait. Give me a minute." I said, taking a slow breath. I bit into my lower lip and chewed on it thoughtfully. Then, gripping Jacob's hand tighter, I nodded. "Okay."

"One." he started.

"Do. Not. Let. Go. Of. Me." I told him sternly, through mildly chattering teeth. Jacob nodded without pausing.

"Two," he continued.

"I mean it!" I warned. He nodded again and kept on with his counting.

"Two and a half… two and three quarters…" he teased. "Three!" I sucked in a deep breath as Jacob lunged forward and pulled us both under. Icy blackness enveloped me, and the only thing I could hear was the rushing of the waves in my ears. Wasting no time, Jacob pulled us back up again. I released the air in my lungs and opened my eyes, slightly disoriented from moving from dark to light so quickly. When the wind hit me I cringed into Jacob, huddling against his impossibly warm body. I pushed my hair from my eyes and face, as he positioned himself to block the wind from me.

"See, that wasn't so bad, right?" Jacob asked. I could hear the smile in his voice. I looked up at him and glared briefly, but Jacobs smile was contagious. My face broke into a grin, and I shifted myself so that I was pressed against him. I placed my hands on his chest and sniffled, sending hate thoughts and various obscenities to mother nature. His hands rubbed against my arms, trying to warm them with friction. It helped some, but I realized that the only way to get out of the wind was to get back in the water.

"Come on." I groaned, and began to walk out farther. He took my hand, keeping his promise as to not let me go. I let him drag me out deeper, and the water wasn't as bad the second time. I kept my head above water, unless a big wave came by. These always set my heart racing, but Jacob never freaked out. He always knew the precise time to dive under the wave, always knew exactly how to dodge the torrent. After a good fifteen minutes, I was used to the temperature and Jacob pulled me back to the shallower region. He went in and grabbed the board I was using, and then began to teach.

"Have you even paddled a surfboard before?" he asked. I stared at him blankly, water dripping from the tip of my nose. "I'll take that as a no." he muttered, and hopped onto the board with ease. I envied the graceful way his body moved in the water and on the surfboard, and was sure that I would never look like that while on one.

"When you paddle, you want to make sure that the only things moving are your arms. If you start fidgeting and twisting your torso or legs around, there's a ninety nine point nine percent chance that you're going to tip over. Also, when you paddle, always turn your head to the opposite of the arm your stroking with. Keeps your balance." he said, demonstrating by pushing himself out a few feet. "Got it?"

"Sure. Don't thrash around and you wont fall off. Simple enough." I nodded, a small smile playing at my lips. Jacob slipped off the board and pushed it over to me.

"Now you try." the grin slid off my face and I sighed, gripping the sides of the death machine. After three failed attempts at trying to get on the board, Jacob made his way towards me and helped hoist me on top. While he held the board steady I stretched out so that I was lying flat on my stomach, with just my arms dipped into the water. I blew my bangs out of my eyes and tried to get used to the unsteady rocking of the board.

"Okay, remember what I said, don't move your body too much. Focus on just using your arms to push you forward." he said. I tried moving my arms like I had seen Jacob do, but I could tell that I was no where near as graceful as he. After some effort, I managed to move three feet, before Jacob gripped the back of the board and pulled me back.

"That was good. Another thing- when you're paddling, you want to make your hands like shovels. See?" he raised his hand and made a scoop-like shape. I did the same with mine and tried it again. I moved considerably farther away after that.

"You're doing great!" Jacob praised me.

"Yeah! I've mastered the art of moving forward." I said, finding less in this small milestone than he had.

"Hey, you have to start somewhere." he reminded me. I sighed and nodded.

After another forty-five minutes, Jacob had briefed me on the proper way to move, steer, and sit up on the board without falling over. Though I did slip more than once, I never actually could complete the fall, because like promised Jacob kept a good grip on my waist. After a while, I was actually beginning to enjoy myself, laughing at some of Jacob's teasing remarks about my awful coordination. He never actually got on the board again, and I didn't want to flatter myself, but I could tell that he was having a good time too.

Jacob paused for a minute, after I had almost fell off again, and helped me regain my balance, which was no easy feat.

"Sorry," I murmured, righting myself.

"No, you're fine. You're actually doing a lot better than I imagined." he admitted.

"Gee, thanks." I replied. "And you're actually a lot better of a teacher than I imagined." I teased.

"You know, I've always wanted to be a teacher." he said distractedly.

"Really?" I said. Jacob snorted.

"No. But that sounded pretty believable, huh?" I laughed along with Jacob.

"Now I see how you fool Billy into letting you stay home on sick leave." I told him, sliding off the board and into the now refreshing cool water. I was going to be majorly sore tomorrow; the insides of my thighs were already killing me from straddling the board for so long.

"What can I say? I've got a gift." he chuckled again. "Well, we should probably get inside. Looks like a storms coming. Wouldn't want to get struck by lightning, would we?" he mocked me teasingly and nodded towards the sky. Looming over us were deep, purple clouds, looking very dangerous and very scary.

"Not at all." I agreed, and we began wading back to the shore. I felt relieved at the sight of the clouds, though- I wouldn't have to humiliate myself with attempts at actually riding the waves.

"Hey Bella, what's that fin over there?" Jacob shouted suddenly, jumping behind me.

"What?" I shrieked and looked around frantically, ready to dive behind Jacob. He burst into guffaws, and I turned around and smacked him on the shoulder when I realized that he was messing with me.

"Not funny." I rolled my eyes, placing a hand over my heart.

"_I_ thought it was quite comical." he said, chortling.

"Yeah, well, the comedic field is obviously not your area of expertise." I muttered, shoving him playfully. "Not funny." I repeated. Jacob kept on with his quiet laughter.

**(A/N): Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I don't mean to sound redundant but please review! Review like the wind! I could always use constructive criticism and tips on how to make this story better! **


	5. Chapter Five

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonightAnd yes I've dreamt of you too  
Does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue  
Well, my girls in the next room.  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on.  
__It's really good to hear your voice saying my name.  
__It sounds so sweet  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak.  
__And I never want to say goodbye.  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful,  
__With the lips of an angel._

**JPOV**

"Hey, Jake, do you wanna hang after school?" Embry called after me. I stopped, turned around and saw him jogging lightly to catch up with me, dodging people and backpacks and swinging lockers.

"I have plans today, Em." I shrugged my shoulders, and began walking again once he caught up. It was Friday, and the clock simply couldn't move fast enough. I was in desperate need of those two days of sovereignty.

"With who?" he asked cautiously. I sighed, anticipating his reaction when I gave him my answer.

"Bella."

"Aw, come on, man!" he groaned. "For the past two weekends, all you've been doing is hanging out with her."

"Embry, if you remember, one of those weekends included you, too. And Quil." I pointed out, pausing at my locker. I began twisting the dial as Embry spoke.

"She was still there." My locker popped open and I threw my math book inside of it, not caring about where it landed.

"Your point?" I asked, arching an eyebrow and reaching for my old tennis shoes.

"My point is, you need to hang out with your other friends as well." he said, leaning up against the wall. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you kidding me? It's been a _single weekend._ Em, maybe this relationship is going a bit too far." I slammed my locker shut and spun the dial. "I _just_ want to be friends."

Embry punched me in the arm and laughed, but then quickly turned serious again. We began walking towards PE, our- thankfully- last class of the day.

"I'm serious. Quil is going through Jake-withdrawal."

"Oh, I'm sure." I smiled. "That's why it's _you _who's begging for my company, and not him."

"He's hurting too badly- he doesn't want you to see him like that." he chuckled.

"Yeah- so is his girlfriend helping him get through the pain?" I nodded towards the opposite wall where Quil and his girlfriend Crystal were standing, lovingly eating each others faces off.

"It's the only way he's making it through the days." he sighed dramatically. I shook my head and laughed quietly. I turned into the gym and set my things on the bleachers, and shoved my feet into my shoes. Embry sat down above me and watched me, and then sighed again, keeping up with his performance. I laced my shoes and then straightened up. I looked him in the eye as I spoke.

"Look, man. I told Bella we would hang out today. That's it. I'm sorry- maybe next time." I shrugged my shoulders again. Embry glared at me briefly, until Coach Pratt blew his whistle, alerting us to the gym floor. Then he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"You know, Jake, I think that you need to go through _Bella_-withdrawal. This addiction that you have isn't healthy."

"Embry, it's been two weekends!"

"Exactly. That's one weekend too many."

After a repetition of the scene before gym, _after_ gym, Embry finally let me leave. I shrugged on my beat up leather jacket and half ran to the parking lot, wanting to escape the school's premises ASAP. Anticipating the rush of wind against my face and the salty air filling my nostrils, I picked up my pace. I threw the main entry doors out of my way and searched for the one thing that could truly bring me freedom.

I sighed when my eyes set on my glossy black motorcycle, parked ten yards away. I had to physically restrain myself from skipping towards it, but nothing could stop the goofy grin that was spread across my face Oh, how I loved my motorcycle. For starters, it was a total chick magnet; it practically screamed 'this guy is a complete risk-taker/badass.' For another, it was simply beautiful- sleek and shiny and dangerous and, while moving, graceful. But the thing I loved best, the thing that really set my heart racing about my motorcycle, was the _speed_. This baby was _fast. _I loved it all- the adrenaline rush that came with the feeling of flying. The way that the wind made my hair whip against my face. The jealous glares I got from the other guys when I sped off.

Once I had reached it, I wasted no time. I opened the back compartment and quickly grabbed and strapped on the cherry red helmet that was mandatory while I was on campus. In one motion, I threw my leg over the side and kick started it, my grin doubling in size as the roar of the engine caused several heads to turn in my direction. I relished the pulsing vibrations that coursed through the bike. Settling into the seat, I released the clutch and tore out of the parking lot, leaving a long, black skid mark on the gray pavement behind me. Good.

As soon as I was officially rid of the school's grounds, I ripped off my ridiculous helmet with one hand and threw it back inside the compartment, keeping the bike entirely steady. It was a maneuver that I had perfected.

As I approached the street that lead to my house, I began to slow down. Then, just as the road forked off, giving me the choice to either go home or go into town, I stopped completely. I looked left, to where my house was just barely visible, and then right, where the path wound and turned, leading into the shopping area. I had been wanting to get Bella something, anything, just to see that smile again. Not her usual one, the tiny half smile, the only thing that ever let me know if she thought I was being funny- I wanted that full blown, toothy smile she had given me after the burrito incident. And if I didn't go now, I might miss my chance entirely- I didn't actually know when she would be back. But if I did go now, there was no telling how long I would be gone, seeing as I didn't actually know what to buy her. And I didn't want her waiting around for me; that was bad etiquette. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Screw it." I muttered to myself after a moments contemplation, and turned sharply right. Besides, I think that having a gift outweighs being late- right?

"Absolutely." I agreed with my thoughts, nodding. Then I realized that I was talking to myself, and pressed my lips together.

When I reached the plaza, I slowed down to a leisurely pace, wanting neither a ticket nor to hit a pedestrian. I scanned the shops in the immediate area: Puppy Palace, For Your Musical Delights, Cakes And Things… all of which were completely out of the question to shop in for Bella. When I passed the book store, I though about going in there, but I wanted something with more meaning than just a book. I needed something that would _really_ make her smile. I knew that Bella didn't wear fancy jewelry, so I didn't go into Jewels And Beyond, and I knew that she didn't care for cosmetics, so I bypassed Beautify Yourself, too. _Christ, this girl was hard to shop for._

I turned corner after corner, and went down street after street, to no avail. After twenty minutes of searching, I almost gave up. Just as I was about to turn around and head back home empty handed, with no excuse as to why I was late, a tiny shop between two larger restaurants caught my eye.

Surfing Central.

Perfect. Something from in _there_ would always remind her of her first surfing experience- if you could call it that. So I would always be the one she thought of whenever she looked at it. Brilliant.

I parked off to the side of the shop, next to the bike rack, as to not take up a full parking space. I knew it ticked people off when I did that, and I wanted to avoid any type of confrontation, as to get home quicker. I walked up the side walk and glanced in the display window- a full set up of the latest and greatest surfboard, swim trunks, wet suits, sunscreen, water shoes… you name it, they had it up there. I smiled to myself and felt a bit smug- there had to be _something_ in there that Bella would like. I was such a genius.

I pushed the door open, and a little bell sounded in result. Three heads behind the paying counter snapped up, and they all gave me a friendly smile. I nodded my head back in greeting.

"Hello, welcome to Surfing Central. Is there anything in particular you're looking for today?" a short, blonde haired girl asked me in a chipper voice. The other two, a guy with floppy black hair, and a girl with artificial red hair and wearing a bikini top and jeans went back to their work.

"Not really, but I'll let you know if I need help finding something." I told her.

"You got it." she smiled at me widely and returned to what ever she was working on at the register.

I wandered aimlessly through the store, pausing to admire the newest model of my favorite brand of surfboards. I walked down the racks of girl's bathing suits, all of them patterned with bright colors and shapes. At closer look, I saw that they were all skimpy and slutty, and knew that I would not get the reaction I wanted from Bella if I bought one of those for her. Not to mention, even if she did wear it, I would always think of the chick behind the counter with her cherry red hair, and that wasn't an option.

Moving on, I looked at all the different types of surfing wax. They had a whole wall for the stuff- wax that promised a better grip, smoother coat, easier application, etc. I grabbed the one that guaranteed water resistance and grip, and placed it on the counter.

"Will this be all?" the petite girl spoke again, looking up at me. She had to crane her neck backwards all the way to meet my eyes, because she was so tiny, which made me smile slightly.

"No, but if you could just hold it up here for me, that'd be great." I flashed her a smile. She nodded.

"Of course." she agreed and nodded, then flipped her hair over her shoulder. I turned on my heel and walked back towards the merchandise.

In a corner, there was a little spinning rack that held a bunch of different bumper stickers. Most were just panoramic views of First Beach, with 'La Push' written in a corner. But some of them had witty comments written in plain black writing against a white background. They were all corny, though, so I turned away from those.

Sighing, I turned my head back towards the blond.

"Excuse me, but do you…" I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase my question. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Her eyes went wide with shock for a moment. Then, after she picked her jaw up from the floor, she narrowed them and glared at me, clearly irritated. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Not that it's any of your damned business, but yes, I do, and he happens to be-"

"Hey, I'm not trying to hit on you. I just need your opinion on something." I interrupted her quickly, before she could completely get the wrong idea. Her aggravated glare fell, and she put her arms at her sides again.

"Oh." her cheeks went pink, and she smiled sheepishly at me. "Sorry." she said, walking around the counter and towards me.

"No, it's my fault. Anyone would have reacted the same way- wrong choice of words on my part." I offered her a grin. Once she was standing in front of me, she answered.

"Oh, you're fine. So, what can I help you with?" she put her hands in her pockets.

"Well, if your boyfriend was in here, what would he get for you? Or, should I say, what would you want?"

"Easy. He would get me one of those bathing suits over there." she jerked her thumb towards the racks. I sighed again.

"Of course." I muttered. "Well, honestly, that doesn't really help-"

"You didn't let me finish. _He_ would get me one of those, but if _I_ were given the choice, I would ask him to get me one of those bracelets over there." she pointed behind me. I turned around and saw a small table, wedged between the swim trunks and snorkeling equipment.

"C'mere, I'll show you." she said. I followed her over to the little set up. On one side there was another spinning rack, shorter by about three feet than the one with the stickers. On it were varying colors of macramé lengths of leather. There was every color in the rainbow available, and even some with different color schemes and designs worked into the fabric. On the opposite side of the table was a long, rectangular box made of several small cubicles, each filled with a different type of charm or bead.

"These are the actual bracelets, but you customize them with these charms over here. I personally think they're the most heartfelt thing in the store. And if you're shopping for your girlfriend, that's always what you want to aim for." she winked at me. I didn't tell her that I wasn't shopping for my girlfriend, per say. After all, Bella was a friend of the female group.

"Thanks. This helps. A lot." I said gratefully, breathing a sigh of relief. She laughed at me, and then walked back over to her station at the register.

As I went through my options of lengths and hues, I realized that I had absolutely no clue as to what Bella's favorite color was. I cursed under my breath and continued searching, determined to find something now. After a moments thinking, I decided on a safe khaki. But there were a ton of khaki bracelets to choose from- some with rhinestones, some had silver sewn in to make it appear glittery, and some had words embroidered on them. _Cant I catch a break?, _I though exasperatedly. I put the rhinestones and glitter out of my mind, and began sifting through the embroidered ones. My eyes passed over the ordinary ones: _La Push, Hottie, I Heart LP. _Completely unoriginal. As I kept going, I almost went with the plain and simple khaki with nothing on it. But then I saw the perfect one_._ I smiled when I read it, and pictured her wearing it on her wrist- I knew that she would love this one. I unhooked it from the rack and looked into the box with all the charms.

With little time to go through all of _those_ damned things too, I just grabbed two tiny surfboard attachments- a blue and a pink; one for me and one for her- and carried them up to the register. The girl smiled at me when I walked up, and began punching in my items.

"Finally decided, have we?" she asked lightly, hitting the total button.

"Yeah- thanks again, by the way." I reached inside my pocket for my wallet.

"No problem- thanks for not hitting on me." We both laughed at that one, and she placed my items in a bag. "Nine fifty-seven." she added.

I handed her a ten, and she gave me my change and receipt. As she handed me the bag, I hesitated.

"Um, could you, maybe, put the charms on for me?" I asked, knowing that I wouldn't have time to put them on myself. Even if I did, they would end up in the garbage- Lord knows I have no patience for that stuff.

"Sure." she said, and dumped the contents out of the bag onto the counter. "Where do you want them?"

I though about that for a moment. Surely, the placement of the charms had to do with the heartfelt meaning and sentimental value of the whole thing, right? _Shit, I'm starting to think like a girl._

"How about… you put them right next to each other, on that side of the writing." I decided, thinking that that placement was simple enough. She quickly fastened them onto the leather and tossed the bracelet back into the bag.

"Thanks- again." I repeated, taking the bag.

"You're welcome. Come back soon!" she called after me as I hurried outside. I certainly would.

As I suspected, Bella's old red truck was parked outside of my house when I returned. She wasn't waiting for me inside her truck, which meant that my dad was home and that she was inside. I was grateful for that, knowing that if she had had to wait in the car it would have upped my rude level. I parked my motorcycle into my homemade garage, and took off my jacket and left that there, too.

When I walked inside, Bella was sitting on the couch, looking slightly uncomfortable, with my dad in his chair across the room. The TV was on, but I had he feeling that only my dad was actually watching it- it was a football game.

"Hey, Bella. Sorry I'm late- had to go into town to pick something up." I explained, holding up the bag containing her gift. Bella hopped up to her feet, and expression of relief plain on her face.

"Hey, Jacob. It's okay, I was, er, watching the game with Billy." she spoke quickly, and motioned to the TV. Her eyes were pleading, begging me silently to take her away from the horror of men on steroids in tight spandex. I smiled, seeing her obvious distaste for sports television.

"Hi, Dad." I nodded towards him.

"Jake, you really shouldn't have kept your friend waiting so long. It's rude." he chastised me, echoing my thoughts.

"I know." I agreed, and turned to Bella again. "Again, I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, honest." she repeated. "I'm sure what ever it is you picked up was important." I changed the subject at her statement, having no actual response.

"So, do you want to go down to the beach?" I asked. Bella's face lit up.

"Yes!" she answered immediately, which made me smile again. "I mean, um, sure. Let's go." she composed herself, probably not wanting to hurt my dad's feelings. I turned around and opened the door again, and Bella walked outside gratefully.

"Okay. Dad, you know where to find us." I called over my shoulder.

"Yup." he answered, turning back to the game. I shut the door and walked down the steps, following Bella.

"Sorry you had to endure ESPN, Bella." I laughed. She smiled.

"It wasn't that bad." she said, looking down.

"Oh, please. I know how boring football is- and my dad watches it religiously." she just shook her head.

"You're right, it was sort of horrible." she admitted after a moment.

"Sort of horrible." I repeated with a small chuckle. We were quiet as we walked to the beach, and silent still when we paused to take our shoes off at the edge of the shore. As my feet sunk into the warm sand, I wriggled my toes and sighed.

"Thank God it's Friday." I muttered, picking up my shoes and began wandering aimlessly.

"My sentiments exactly." Bella agreed, as she cuffed her jeans twice to keep them from harms way. I still had the bag clutched in my hand, and wondered when it would be the right time to give the bracelet to her. As we walked, I figured the moment would show itself, so I kept the bag neatly tucked out of her immediate view.

It was a nice day, for Forks. Overcast, which was expected, but a nice warm breeze was going, and it was bright, despite the cloudy veil concealing the sun.

"So, what did you pick up in town today?" she asked quietly, peering up at me through her lashes. _Okay, so the moment was now. _I sighed.

"Here," I answered, handing her the bag. "You look." she took it hesitantly.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." she assured me.

"No, go ahead- it's for you." I encouraged her.

"Oh. Jacob, you shouldn't have done that." she argued, still without opening the bag.

"Just look in the bag, Bella." I rolled my eyes. We stopped walking at the same time, and she slowly reached a hand inside. She seemed confused when her hands hit the object inside, and she furrowed her brows slightly as she pulled it out. I smiled, anticipating her reaction when she saw the-

"A bar of surfboard wax?" she asked, puzzled. "Um, thanks." she gave me an earnest smile, though I could tell she didn't know how to respond. For a second, I though the girl had given me the wrong bag or something, though I was sure that she had handed it to me right after she put the bracelet inside... I took it from her and examined it, and then recognized it at the brand of wax I had bought- and apparently, totally forgotten about.

"Oops, that's for me." I said, and took the bag, too. I reached in myself and pulled out the bracelet. "_This_ is for you."

She held her hand out, and I placed it into her palm delicately. Bringing her hand closer to her face, she inspected it, trying to figure out what it was. Turning it over, she read the words, and her face broke into that smile I had been waiting for.

"_Super Surfer._" she grinned wider. "Thanks, Jacob!" she looked up, and I got a full view of that smile of hers. My heart fluttered, and I internally rolled my eyes at my increasing chick-ness.

"You're welcome." I smiled back, crumpling the bag and stuffing it in my pocket. "It's a bracelet." I clarified, seeing as she was giving it a 'Well-what-do-I-do-with-it-now' look.

"Oh. This is great, Jacob!" she said animatedly. "Now I'll always remember my first time on a surfboard." She stepped forward and hugged me, which I was happy to return. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and squeezed. She leaned back slightly so that she could look up at me, resting her chin on my chest, that smile still on her lips.

I should've done it right there- I should have reached down and kissed her, on that smile that I liked so much, had yearned for for days. That's what I would have done with any other girl- just kissed her, sealed the deal, made us a couple right then. But Bella wasn't ready- I knew that. And I didn't want to make an ass of myself, either. So, I just returned the smile and retracted my arms from around her, as to put myself further out of temptation's way.

We began walking again, a bit slower, because Bella was struggling with the bracelet, trying to attach it to her wrist with one hand. I took her hand wordlessly, and began fiddling with the fastener.

"So is this for my successful attempt at surfing? My reward for coming away unscathed?" she teased, watching my hands. I finally got the clip to close, and I released her hand, smiling.

"No." I said, shaking my head. She cocked her head to one side, trying to think of what she had done that was worthy of a present.

"What, then?"

"Just…" I shrugged my shoulders, and decided on giving her the honest truth. "Because I wanted to make you happy."

She seemed content with my answer, though her cheeks did go slightly pink and she looked down, smiling her old, tiny grin again.

"Well, it worked." she said in her quiet trill. I smiled to myself.

"I would have gotten you a puppy, but they were out of Labradors when I stopped by." I teased, bumping into her playfully.

"That's too bad." she laughed, and took my hand. I felt the bracelet rub against my am, the frayed leather tickling my skin, and thought that I could get used to that feeling pretty easily.

We paced back and forth, along the beach, waves occasionally rolling up and wetting our feet. We were mostly quiet, as we usually were around each other, but every now and then Bella or I would strike up a conversation. Just as I was about to suggest going inside, she spoke again.

"Jessica apologized to me today." she glanced up at me.

"Who's that?" I asked, going back in my head, trying to remember if she had ever mentioned a Jessica, and came up blank.

"Oh, I guess I never gave you her name. She's the one who…" she seemed unable to finish her sentence. "Who said… those things to me."

And then it clicked. Jessica. The bitch who had made Bella cry, who had left her in pieces for someone to pick up. That someone had been me, and as the memories came crashing back, I found I couldn't hold my tongue.

"You didn't forgive that bitch, right?" I muttered, too angry to come up with a different degrading term than the one I had used in my head. I expected her to laugh, to scoff, to act like my proposal was ridiculous. Surely, she would never forgive Jessica for what she did. But instead, I found silence.

"Bella?"

"Well… yeah. I did." she said finally, averting her eyes. "I forgave her."

"Why? Why would you do that? What she did to you was unacceptable!" I exclaimed.

"Not really… a part of her was right." she whispered, her words barely audible, as if she didn't really want me to hear them. I stopped in my tracks, and pulled her to a halt. She stood in front of me, rather than at my side.

"You've got to be kidding me." I snapped. "Right? Tell me you're kidding, please." I saw hurt flash in her eyes at my rude outburst, and a small part of my brain told me that I should lower the acid level in my voice, but I pushed it away. She looked at the ground and bit her lip. "You're serious, aren't you? Bella, I don't know what's going on in your head, but she doesn't deserve your forgiveness." When she didn't respond, I dropped her hand and took her chin instead. I tilted her face back so that she had to look at me directly. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Jacob, you weren't there, so you cant tell me she was wrong. Please, just drop it." she plead, her voice cracking in several places.

"No, Bella. Listen to me. I know that you couldn't see yourself when I found you, so I cant expect you to understand- but I could, and it was heartbreaking. I saw the look in your eyes, saw how crumpled you were… it tears me apart."

"Oh, it tears _you_ apart? Jacob, it tears _me _apart! _I'm _the one she yelled at! You honestly have no right to tell me that I shouldn't have forgiven her, because you have know idea what went on. Like I said, _you weren't there._" I saw anger flickering in her brown eyes as she shouted, and she yanked her face out of my grip. She took a few steps back, and continued. "You don't know what she said. You don't know what happened. You don't even know why she was mad at me in the first place. You know nothing." she spat, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at me, visibly fuming.

"I do know something. I know this- no one deserves what you went through. No one. And you let her off scot-free! She isn't really sorry, and I wouldn't put it against her to do it again. That's the way those types of people are. And I don't want to have to piece you back together again the next time!" my voice grew in volume throughout my speech, and by the end of it I was yelling. Her eyes went wide, and then narrowed. She inhaled through her nose and shut her eyes, and when she opened them, I saw that I had seriously hurt her. I immediately regretted my words, but in my defense, I hadn't meant for them to come out that way.

"Well, Jacob, you don't have to worry about it anymore. I'm leaving- and don't worry, I wont come back. You don't have to take care of me any longer." the tears spilled over onto her cheeks, flushed from anger, and she grabbed at her wrist in an effort to take the bracelet off. After a few moments of trying, with no success, she just shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. "I'll take some scissors to the damn thing when I get home." she muttered. I grabbed her arm as she tried to storm off and spun her around to face me.

"Bella, wait, that's not what I meant." she looked down at the hand I had on her incredulously, like she was going to bite it off. I retracted my arm after second thought, but she stayed where she was. "I didn't… that was the wrong word choice."

"Really? You sure? Because I don't want to continue being such a huge burden in your life." she snapped back, wiping at a tear angrily.

"No, no. You're not. Please, don't go." I plead. `

"I'm not a charity case, Jacob. I don't need you to 'piece me back together.'" she used air quotations. "I can take care of myself. Have been, for quite some time now. Eighteen years, actually."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean it, honest. What I meant to say…" I struggled for the right words. "I just… I cant stand to see you get hurt. Not like that. Not again. I- I care about you, Bella." I admitted, giving her direct eye contact. She froze, her mouth open to say something, and then shut it. What ever remark she was going to give me obviously didn't apply any more. Her angry glare faltered, the look on her face fell. She thought about what I said for a long moment, and finally, she spoke.

"Why?" she whispered, so low that I couldn't be sure that it was what she actually said.

"Excuse me?"

"Why?" she repeated, speaking at a normal volume. "Why do you care?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I countered, still confused at her question.

"Because, Jacob. Because I'm boring, I'm plain, I'm ordinary. That's just a few reasons- more than enough for anyone to shy away from me. Toss in the fact that I'm mentally unstable, and am constantly on the verge of an emotional breakdown, and it's a wonder why Charlie even talks to me. But you, Jacob. You're… you're great. Just great. You're so sweet, and caring, even to someone as undeserving as me. You're good to be around, you're funny, and you light up a room with just your presence. Why would someone like you care about someone like me? When you've got so many better options out there?" she threw her hands in the air. I could see that she was on the verge of crying again. I was silent as I took all of her words in, and realized slowly that everything she had said about me was wrong. She was describing _herself_. The way _I _saw _her_, and not the other way around.

Without thinking, I grabbed her by the shoulders and crushed her to my chest, snaking my arms around her waist. I laid my cheek on the top of her head, laying all of my feelings into the embrace. After a moment, I felt her arms slowly wrap around me, and we stood there for what felt like I long time. I inhaled the smell of her hair- freesias, and vanilla, and I felt her nuzzle her cheek against my body.

I was the first to pull away, and when I did I saw that she was crying again.

"I care," I said, tapping her on the nose, "because there aren't better options, Bella. None. So get used to me, because I'm not going any where." A slow smile spread on her lips, and I wiped the trails of tears staining her cheeks away with the pads of my thumbs.

"I guess that's okay." she whispered, wiping her hair out of her face.

"Good- not that I was taking no for an answer." I said, and took her hand once more. We walked to back to my house in a comfortable silence.

**(A/N): I hope you all enjoyed the latest update! I know I say this every time, and it's probably getting annoying, but review, review, review! Not that I don't appreciate each and every favorites I get, really I do. I just think that reviews are a much more appropriate way to show me some love! Tee hee. So, keep on doing what you do, just add a bit of reviewing in there…**

**Love, ECG000 **


	6. Chapter Six

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
Does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room.  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on.  
__It's really good to hear your voice saying my name.  
__It sounds so sweet_

_Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak.  
__And I never want to say goodbye.  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful,_

_With the lips of an angel._

**(A/N): Okay, so normally I'm not the type to post an Author's Note before and after an entry, but I couldn't find it in myself to put this off any longer. I would just like to say a quick thank you to everyone who favorited me as an author, or LOAA as a story, and I would like to express my extreme gratitude to those who reviewed! I love them more than a fat kid loves cake. Well, I wont keep you from reading any longer! Until the bottom of the page, dear friends. Toodaloo!**

**BPOV**

"Bells! Come on, how long does it take for you to get dressed?" Charlie called up the stairs, an edge to his tone. In reality, it didn't take long at all- in fact, it took me less than two minutes to put on the entire outfit. Actually walking out of the house in it… that was a totally different matter.

I stood in my room, staring at myself in the full length mirror. I cocked my head to the side, hoping that viewing the ensemble from the different angle would give me more confidence, but it didn't. I was still me, still plain and washed out, and I still felt like a little girl dressed up in her mothers clothes. I turned around and looked at myself over my shoulder, wincing at the not-so-subtle way the new jeans drew attention to my ass. I faced the mirror again and leaned in, examining the mascara coating my eyelashes, and cursed under my breath- it definitely looked clumpy and wrong against my pale pallor. And my hair… it was an entirely different issue. At first, I had thought that it was the only redeeming quality about the entire get up- it was smooth and straight, and swished gently when I walked- the product of spending a full hour on it the night prior. But now, in this view, it looked like it was _too_ smooth- as though it was laying against my head _too_ flatly, making it appear as though I was losing my hair, instead of providing the luster that the conditioner I had bought promised.

"_Damn_ it!" I growled unimpressively, and threw my hands in the air. I sighed, exasperated, and grabbed my purse hanging on the closet doorknob. I threw one last glance at my outfit, and decided to stop being such a coward. _Honestly, _I thought to myself, _grow a pair._

"_Bella!_ Let's _go!_" Charlie yelled again, a bit louder, a tangible annoyance in his voice. I slipped on my shoes, the one part of my outfit that I fully approved of, and threw my hair over my shoulder. I closed my eyes, sent a few silent prayers to whoever was listening, and opened my door without another thought. Walking down the stairs to Charlie's grumbling figure, I heard his intake of breath when I came into complete view.

"Wow, Bell. You look beautiful." he murmured, placing an arm around my shoulder. I grimaced- if _Charlie_ was impressed with my outfit, what would everyone _else_ think?

"Thanks, Dad. Happy Easter." I said flatly, wrapping my arms around my torso.

"Happy Easter! Are you ready for the egg hunt at the Black's?" he asked, the anger in his tone gone. I brightened up at the mention of Jacob and Billy, and gave Charlie a smile.

"Yup- you know that I love Easter eggs." I winked, and Charlie laughed. It was sort of a little inside joke between us that had been going on since I was ten, when I ate so many hardboiled eggs that I ended up puking all over the backseat of the cruiser. I ad never eaten a single Easter egg since, and every time I was around someone who was, a queasy feeling built up inside me.

"I sure do. Now come on, it's time to get going." He retracted his arm from my body, and we walked outside together. It wasn't raining yet, a definite plus, and I found myself forgetting about my outfit increasingly in anticipation to see Jacob.

In the weekends that had followed our fight on the beach, Jacob and I had become closer than ever. Our friendship was effortless, easy, simple. It was like blinking- something that was natural, once I had given him a chance to actually bond with me. He knew more about me than any of my other friends, past and present, and vice versa. I was more open with him than I was with even my mother, blocking him out of only a single part of my life- the time when _he_ was here. Jacob obviously knew about him and our past relationship, but he also knew enough not to pry. And I, in return, asked not a single question about his mom, something that I knew was a difficult thing to talk about for him. I could even go as far as saying it was just as hard for him to talk about his mom as it was for me to talk about_ him._

But, aside from the hard stuff, everything was great with Jacob. We talked and laughed freely around each other, joking and teasing one another. Our playful banter was something that I always looked forward to- I liked the fact that we could make fun of one another, always laughing about it in the end. As usual, comfortable silences constantly loomed over us, allowing us both to think a little, and be alone in our heads.

The only huge difference, really, in our relationship before and after the fight, besides our obvious closeness, was the way I thought about Jacob- and the way I knew he thought about me. On the day of the argument, I had spilled my thoughts and feelings about him. I had let him know exactly how much I needed him, and that had put us in a position neither of us was completely familiar with. I could see all the obvious ways of Jacob's flirtation, and I felt flattered rather than violated. I could tell that my hugs lasted a beat too long, though Jacob wasn't exactly the first to pull away. I was aware of how flustered Jacob always was during the first few minutes of our meetings, and I also noticed the fluttery feeling I got in my stomach when I thought about seeing him again. I no longer saw Jacob as a get-away from Charlie- I saw him as a safe haven where I could be whoever the hell I wanted to. And out of all these confusing feelings and reactions to one another's company, there was one thing I was certain of:

My heart, mangled, broken, and aching as it was, had begun to fall for someone else.

I constantly tried denying this fact, always tried convincing myself that I was unable to even remotely feel the same way about anyone else as I had _him._ And it wasn't because when he left I was stripped of feelings- I could feel, most definitely, everything. But he had given me some kind of crippling fear when he had deserted me- a fear that anyone that I loved would abandon me, just when I thought things were going fine, as he had done. He had left me with the impression that I wasn't good enough for him, and I wasn't; I didn't try to deny that. But knowing that I wasn't good enough for him had given me an idea that had dawned on me shortly after his departure- what made me think that I was good enough for _anyone? _I mean, sure, he had been almost impossible to live up to, and I had always known deep down that I could never be enough for him, but really, next to anyone- humans and immortals alike- was I really equal? Was I really enough for someone to love, to care about?

These questions gnawed at me the whole drive to La Push. Charlie seemed to sense my deep brooding, and didn't try to pull me out of my reverie- I don't think, at least. Maybe he had, and I just hadn't noticed. Regardless, the only thing able to pull me out of my thoughts completely was the sight of the little barn red house as we pulled up in the cruiser. There was already a nice, welcoming fire roaring in the front yard, and a group of people could be seen lounging around it in white lawn chairs. Jacob's tall figure was easily recognizable, what with his head visible over everyone else's. My heart leapt in my chest, and I honestly thought that it was going to crack one of my ribs with its hammering. An unconscious smile crept to my lips, and I caught Charlie's approving glance when I tried to walk towards the group without skipping.

When I approached everyone, Jacob's face lit up and he stood, his arms automatically spreading for me to step into. Trying not to think about how good his arms felt around my shoulders or how warm he was, I hugged him back.

"Hey, Bella! Happy Easter!" he said jovially in my ear, squeezing me gently. I inhaled his comforting scent that I had become so accustomed to, and pulled away.

"Happy Easter, Jacob." I grinned. I saw his eyes wander to my wrist, the way they did every time I saw him, and noticed his smile widen when he saw that I was still wearing his bracelet. I never took it off.

"So, you know I'm totally kicking your ass in the Easter egg hunt, right? It's a known fact on the rez that I'm completely awesome when it comes to searching for badly hidden painted eggs." he winked.

"Um, I'm not sure if that's something to boast about, Jacob." I laughed. "And by the way, I'm the record holder for Phoenix's Annual Easter Egg Hunt, 1999."

Jacob grinned at me and pulled a chair from a stack next to the house, setting it next to his. He patted the seat once, and I sat down in it as he plopped into his. Leaning closer to me so that he could speak quietly in my ear, and gestured inconspicuously to each of the people sitting around the fire as he gave me a name.

"Okay, so sitting next to my dad on the right is Old Quil- he's Quil's grandpa and, like, co-chief of the tribe. On the left is Harry Clearwater, who's got kind of the same position in the tribe, and on the ground in front of him are his two kids, Seth and Leah. Next to Harry is Sue, his wife. Over there," he continued, gesturing towards a couple sitting alone, "Is Sam and his fiancé Emily. They don't really talk to anyone, but Sam's sort of next in line for chief. Behind us is Paul and Jared, and you already know Quil and Em. Oh, and of course, the band of giggling children over there are Emily's nieces and nephews and siblings. All I know is that the little blonde one's name is Claire, she's been here for a while now, but honestly, I think there are too many of them to remember." he finished. I laughed, and swept my hair over my shoulder.

"Hey, Bella!" a familiar, friendly voice called from behind me. I turned around and saw Quil waving at me. I smiled politely and nodded at him.

"Hi, Quil. How are ya?" I asked, resting my chin on the back of my chair.

"Good. How's it been going for you?" he responded, walking over to where Jacob and I were. He crouched down to my eyelevel.

"I'm fine. Anything new going on?"

"Nope. How's Jake doing?" he asked, without looking at his friend. I furrowed my brows, confused at his question- why would he be asking me such a thing? When Jacob was _right there,_ and he could very well ask him himself?

"Um… what?" I finished lamely.

"How. Is. Jacob. Doing?" he asked again, slower, talking to me as if I was incompetent. Jacob seemed to catch on to his questioning, because I saw him stiffen in his chair out of the corner of my eye. I, on the other hand, was still in the dark, and continued on, wanting to know what these questions meant.

"I don't know what you mean." I admitted, sweeping my wayward hair over my shoulder and smoothing it. "Why don't you ask him? He's right there."

"Quil, drop it." Jacob said darkly. I turned to him and saw that an angry expression clouded his happy features, and I turned back to Quil.

"What's going on?" I asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Nothing, Bella. Quil needs to back off is all." Jacob muttered in the same tone, without looking at me.

"Oh, I think it's definitely something, Jake." Quil argued.

"I disagree." Jacob said flatly through his teeth.

"She should know." Quil persisted, glancing at me angrily.

"What? What should I know?" I squeaked, looking back and forth between the two of them. By this time, Embry had come to stand behind Quil to watch, listening as things heated up quickly.

"That he's been completely blowing off-"

"Quil, I said _drop it._" Jacob silenced him, giving him a look that had shivers going down my spine. For someone who was usually so bright and happy, Jacob looked down right scary. I put an hand on his rigid shoulder.

"Jacob, calm down." I cautioned him, my voice shaking. Jacob's glare flickered to me for only a brief second, but the worry in my eyes seemed to settle him just slightly, and he relaxed a little in his seat- though his glare would not relent. I didn't know what had gotten these boys worked up, but a fight on Easter Sunday was bound to start up some troubles up 'there'.

"Listen to your girlfriend, Jake. I didn't come over here to fight you. Just to inform Bella of what's been going on in that pretty head of yours." Quil said scathingly. I immediately felt any liking I had ever had of Quil disappear- I didn't appreciate the way he was treating Jacob, or myself, for that matter.

"Say what you need to say, Quil, so Jacob and I can get back to the conversation you interrupted." I snapped, feeling my own anger replacing the fear inside me.

"Touchy touchy." Quil grumbled, but turned to face me once again. "I just wanted to let you know that Jacob, even if he's told you otherwise, has friends besides _you_. Maybe you could let him off the leash a little and allow him to play with his buddies once in a while? Does that sound okay?" he asked in a patronizing tone, his eyes narrowed and smothering. And then everything clicked. Jacob was ignoring his friends, Quil, at least, to be with me. Just as I was about to let Quil know that I wasn't keeping Jacob from seeing anyone, I was cut off.

"_Me_ not hanging out with _you_ has nothing to do with Bella, Quil. She doesn't make those decisions- I do. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just _don't_ want to talk to you?" Jacob said before I could respond.

"Oh, so is that what this is? We've been best friends since the third grade and now you're claiming to hate me all of the sudden?" Quil demanded, eyes going wide.

"I don't hate you, Quil. Stop being so damn dramatic, you sound like a chick." Jacob muttered. "You've been acting differently is all, and I haven't had the dire need or want for your company of late. Okay? So can you go now, I'm not in the mood to play boyfriend and girlfriend with you. Don't you have Crystal for that shit?"

Quil's face went red, and he let out an angry exhale. "Actually, if you had even attempted to talk to me recently, you would know that Crystal and I are done. And you know what else, Jacob? So is this. Happy Easter." and with those words of departure, he stood up and stalked back to where the rest of his group was waiting for him.

**JPOV**

I turned to Bella, conveying my apologies through my eyes. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I don't know what's gotten into those guys- I've got Embry up my ass at school, and now I've got Quil yelling at you- I wasn't aware they had become such _girls."_ she rose her eyebrows at me, and I quickly backpedaled. "I mean, not that being a girl is a bad thing. You guys have got all these great assets-" her eyebrows rose impossibly higher on her head as she gaped at me. "Wait, that's not what I meant! Girls are much more than just your bodies, really, you've got brains, too, I just- I meant- I-"

Bella placed her palm over my big stupid mouth, and grinned at me.

"I got it, Jacob." she said, giggling. My shoulders slumped, defeated, and I muttered my apology through her hand. She removed it slowly, giving me a look that said, '_I-will-totally-put-it-back-if-you-keep-up-with-that-rambling-crap_.' I smiled at her innocently. She rolled her eyes, but then her expression went serious.

"Even if Quil was being a dick about the whole thing, is what he said true? Have you been ignoring them?" she asked quietly in a tiny voice.

"Oh, Bella, no. Well, yes, but not for the reason he gave to you. What I said to Quil, I meant. He's been acting off lately, and I really don't want to deal with it right now." I assured her, taking her hand. She eyed me like she didn't believe me, and sighed.

"But Jacob… I wouldn't feel right if you were giving up your friends to be with me. I mean, they were here first…" her voice trailed off and she looked down, biting her lip.

"That's true," I nodded, "but _you're_ here _now_."

She looked up at me and smiled, her cheeks going slightly pink. "Okay." she said quietly, and brushed her hair out of her face. I grinned and let our hands fall in the empty space between our chairs, warming up her cold fingers with mine. The wind picked up, and I caught a whiff of freesias, a scent I automatically recognized as Bella. It was wonderful- a delicate balance of flowers and sugary sweetness, and a hint of vanilla…

"You smell good, Bella." I blurted unthinkingly. She looked at me oddly for a moment, but then gave me a half smile.

"Thanks." she murmured, her eyes bright. I found it hard to break away from her stare, and thought that she looked different- her eyes had a sort of allure to them; they seemed bigger, and more pronounced against her pale skin. Her eyelashes looked thicker, framing her brown eyes quite nicely, and-"What are you staring at?" she asked, touching her face with the hand I wasn't grasping self-consciously. I quickly averted my eyes, wondering what the hell had gotten into me.

"Nothing- sorry." I muttered, and started playing with the edges of my shirt. Just then, Harry stood up and looked around, a smile spread on his lips.

"Alright, alright, little ones!" he yelled over the anxious chatter of the children. "It's time for all of you to go inside, so that we can get the Easter Bunny out here to hide the eggs!" A significant amount of excited squeals rang through the small crowd, and I pulled Bella up as Harry lead them into the house.

"Where are we going?" she wondered, following behind me. I looked at her over my shoulder.

"Inside. We're going to watch the kids for a second, to make sure there isn't any peeking through the windows while the, uh, Easter Bunny hides the eggs." I winked at her and grinned. She smiled and mouthed, 'Oh,' and we walked up the steps behind the parade of the children. Harry made the kids sit around the sofa, and Bella and I stationed ourselves in front of the TV across from them. Grabbing a plastic bag filled with the eggs Sue had painted last night, Harry walked outside with a call of, "Easter Bunny, you can come out now!"

When the clomping of Harry's boots could no longer be heard on the stairs, the kids started whispering eagerly among themselves. I looked at Bella and smiled silently. She grinned back at me, and I got another long look at her face- _something_ was different. I grabbed her chin and tilted her face upwards so that I could get a better view. I turned her head this way and that, trying to detect the change.

"Jacob, what're you-"

"Are you wearing makeup?" I interrupted, scrutinizing her face. Indeed, she was- I could now see why her eyelashes had appeared thicker, why her eyes looked brighter- there was some type of cosmetic on her face. I had no idea what it was (which was probably a good thing), but what ever she had used was amazing. Bella was beautiful to me without any enhancements, but even the small amount of makeup was very nice. Her cheeks flushed red, and she looked away, removing her face from my grasp.

"Yeah," she muttered, shoving her hands in her jean pockets. "so?"

"So," I said, leaning down, trying to get another glimpse of her, "I think it looks kinda pretty."

Her cheeks went an even deeper shade of ruby, but I caught sight of a smile before she turned her face away from me again. "We should be watching the kids, Jacob."

She said nothing more for a couple more minutes, apparently finding great interest in her fingernails. She peeked up at me, her cheeks still beet red. I gave her a toothy grin, and she bit her lip and looked down again.

After another couple of minutes with no sign of Harry, I started to wonder where he was- surely it didn't take this long to hide a few eggs?

"Where the hell is he?" I wondered aloud, earning a large amount of gasps from the children.

"Oh, Jake, you say a bad word!" Claire called out, pointing a finger accusingly at me. I knelt down in front of her, breaking my hold of Bella's hand.

"Does your mom take you to church, Claire-Bear?" I asked, poking her in the belly. She emitted a giggle and nodded. "Well, don't you know that the word hell is in the Bible? Its practically a good thing that I said it- like a compliment or something to the big man." I looked up at the ceiling.

I heard Bella's intake of air as she gasped, and felt her hand smack the back of my head.

"Don't tell her that!" she chastised me, but Claire ignored her.

"I can say hell too, Jake?"

I fought to restrain a laugh as I stood up and patted her on the head.

"No, Claire. Hell is an adult word- only grown-ups can say it. Like me and Bella, here." she nodded her head slowly, as if truly considering this, and turned back to her cousins surrounding her.

"You're ridiculous." Bella muttered when I stood beside her again.

"What? Would you rather me lie to the kid?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders and putting an arm around her. She glared at me briefly, but then smiled and shook her head, over her brief fit of irritation.

Just then, Harry burst through the doors with at least twenty different colorful, woven baskets.

"Alright, kids! Come and get a basket!" he called out. All at once, the kids stood up and stampeded over to him. He distributed the baskets, and then knelt down so that he was at eyelevel with all of them.

"Now listen, there is one golden egg out there. Just one. The finder of the egg is going to get the special treat hidden inside it." he told them mysteriously. The kids giggled in anticipation and nodded, practically vibrating with excitement.

"There are a few rules, though-"

"Oh, come on, Harry, just let 'em outside, will you?" I interrupted, and threw the front door open. The kids rushed outside and ran down the stairs, a look of serious concentration on each of their faces. What was once a huge herd of short people broke up and separated, everyone going in different directions in search of the eggs.

"Not cool, Jake." Harry said, but laughed afterwards.

"I think the kids thought it was pretty cool. What was _not _cool was the way you were keeping them waiting for so long- they were going to combust." I argued. Harry shook his head at my triumphant grin and sat next to my dad again. I turned to Bella and feinted sadness.

"I guess we're not going to participate in this years egg hunt." I stuck out my bottom lip. Bella laughed and leaned into me. "Shall we go outside?"

"Sure," she agreed, nodding. I retracted my arm from her shoulders so that we could walk down the stairs without falling, opting to take her hand again instead.

"It's relatively nice out today." she commented, gazing up a the thin veil of clouds concealing the sun. I nodded silently, leading her towards the beach. She stopped, pulling me to a halt.

"What is it?" I asked, facing her.

"Um, how about we, like, not go to the beach? Just for today?"

"Okay. The forest, then." I amended, deciding not to inquire about her sudden aversion to the beach. She would tell me if she wanted to.

"Yes, the forest is good." she nodded her head quickly. I spun us around and began walking in the opposite direction, towards the trail leading into the densely packed trees.

When we were under the cover of the canopy of leaves, she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, if you were set on going to the beach." her voice was small and quiet.

"No, I wasn't. It's okay- the beach is getting kind of boring for me anyways." I admitted. She nodded, and I could tell she agreed with me. After all, almost every time she came over, the beach was where we ended up. The routine was starting to get tiring and I never could seem to get the salty scent off of my skin entirely.

We walked for a few more minutes silently, the forest teeming with life around us. A bird exploded out of a tree and crossed our path within inches of my head; Bella squealed and jumped behind me. I laughed at her expression, and she stepped out from behind me, her cheeks slightly pink. I did notice that she positioned herself half way behind me, though, as ready to duck for cover at a moment's notice. I grinned at her, and we continued until I found a fallen tree. I sat down on it, and patted the spot next to me. She looked at me incredulously.

"Seriously? What if there's bugs, or something?" she squeaked, eyeing the wood apprehensively. I rolled my eyes at her, and shrugged off my jacket. I spread it out on the space beside me.

"There. Now your butt is nice and protected from the mean, evil, nonexistent bugs." I said, patting the jacket. She pursed her lips, but sat down beside me, deeming my cover acceptable. She leaned her head onto my shoulder, her arm resting against the length of mine, and took my hand wordlessly. Her skin was cold to the touch.

"You're freezing, Bell." I murmured, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. I laid my cheek on the top of her head. Her hair smelled so good, too, and it looked so pretty, all straight and smooth… I wanted to bury my nose in it and run my fingers through it's entire length. _Well, we all know where my head is today,_ I thought to myself, and sighed.

"What is it?" Bella whispered, without looking up at me.

"Hm?"

"You sighed," she explained. "I've learned that there is always something wrong when you do that."

"Oh."

"So what is it? What's the matter?"

I sighed again, and shut my eyes, bringing a hand up to run it down my face.

Ever since our argument down on the beach, the day I had gotten Bella her bracelet, things were different between us. It was almost tangible, the feelings that flowed between us. As the days went on, I realized that my friendship with Bella was steadily increasing to something more. I mean, I had decided long ago that I had wanted Bella to be something more to me, but those thoughts had never made themselves more prominent than her most recent visits. Never before had I noticed exactly how pretty she was(and good God, had I noticed it today- the outfit she was wearing would make Aphrodite herself go green with envy, for Christ's sake), or how funny she was, or how nice her lips looked… And, ego aside, I could see that Bella wanted something more too- I wasn't blind, nor was I incompetent.

So why wasn't I able to say any of this? Why couldn't I just look at her and tell her that I wanted to be more than friends? Honestly, how difficult was it? Just a few simple words, that was it!

But no matter how many minutes I spent lying awake in bed, badgering myself with these questions, I knew the answer. _What if she rejected me? What if I was imagining her feelings? I would ruin everything, just when I was starting to really need her in my life. And then what would I do?_

All these thoughts raced through my head in about four seconds, but it felt like an eternity when I cleared my throat to answer Bella's question. I sat up, and waited until she looked at me to finish.

"It's just…" I took a deep breath, and swallowed, then took another breath. I shut my eyes again and squeezed her hand. "I like this. You. Us. More… more than I should." There. I opened my eyes.

Silence followed, and I found myself holding my breath. She never broke my gaze, nor did she remove her hand from mine, and we sat, unblinking, for a long minute.

"I see." Bella whispered finally, but said nothing more, still looking into my eyes. After another agonizing period of silence, I decided that it was now, or it was never.

I took her chin gently, and tilted her face up to mine. My heart threatening to explode from my chest, I leaned forward, her eyes intently staring into mine. Without another thought, I pulled her face up to mine. Bella looked down just then, giving my lips access to only her forehead, and placed her hands on my heaving chest, pushing me away.

"Jacob." she whispered again, her voice barely audible over the pounding in my ears. I swallowed and attempted to slow my heart rate. "This… this is going to complicate everything."

"How?" I demanded. "It's not hard, Bella. There's you. And there's me. What's so complicated about it?"

Before she could answer, I pulled her face up again and closed the distance between us in half of a second. I crushed my lips to hers, and felt her stiffen in respone. Before anything else could happen, she pulled away from me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that there were tears shining in hers, threatening to spill over.

"That's not all there is, Jacob." she said even more quietly, her hands pushing against my chest again. She looked down and bit her bottom lip.

"Are you going to tell me that there's another guy, Bella? Really?" I asked, feeling anger build up in my chest, not at her, but at me. Because I had just ruined everything, in a fit of testosterone. She continued chewing on her lip for a moment before she answered.

"No. There isn't another guy. You… you would know." she answered dully. "But… but there was. There was another guy, Jacob. A long time ago."

I felt my shoulders sink as the meaning of her words sunk in.

"And you're still in love with him." I said flatly. It wasn't a question. She finally looked up at me, and when she did, I saw black trails down her cheeks; she wiped at them, smearing the makeup across her face. She shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, Jacob. That's not it, honest." she assured me, wiping at her face again. "I mean, I do love him; there's a part of me that always will, too, and I cant deny that. But that's not why I cant let you do this."

"Than what is it, Bella? Is it all in my head? Do you not think of me that way?" my voice shook. I pressed my lips together to keep them from trembling, something that occurred when I was angry.

"No! I do. I do think about you… that way." she was on the verge of tears again. "I like you, too, Jacob. A lot. And that's why this- you and me- cant happen. Because…" she didn't seem able to finish.

"Because why?" I pressed, taking her face in my hands and forcing her to look in my eyes. "Why?" I demanded when she refused to answer.

"Because, Jacob!" she exploded, throwing her arms into the air. "What if this doesn't work out, hm? What happens when you leave me? I don't think that I could take that, Jacob! I don't know if I could pick myself up again! So… so we should just stay friends, okay? Because if we go on to something more, it'll feel even worse when I lose you!" she was shouting at this point, and a steady flow of tears was trickling down her chin and dripping onto her jeans. _It wasn't a 'what if?' situation,_ I realized.

"Why do you say 'when', Bella?"

"I give you an entire speech, bare my soul, and all you can come up with in answer is my improper _grammar_?" her voice rose a few octaves at the end of her sentence; it was practically a shriek.

"No! Listen! You're telling me that this- you and I- cant happen, because it'll be to hard for you _when_ I leave. What makes you so sure that I'm just going to up and take off, Bella?"

"I- I didn't say that." she muttered, more to herself than to me.

"Yes, you did." I argued defiantly. "You said, and I quote, 'What happens _when_ you leave me.'"

And then, everything fell into place.

She said when, because of _him._ Because of Edward-Goddamned-Cullen- because he left her, and now she's got it set into her heart that everyone would eventually walk out on her and leave her to suffer. It all made sense. Her first love had stranded her, deserted her, and so, in her mind, would anyone else she loved. That was what was stopping her, this fear of abandonment.

I couldn't believe it.

I mean honestly, after all the times I've said that I wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't let anything hurt her in my presence, and she's still afraid of being injured by me!

"This is about Cull-"

"_Don't _say his name." she interrupted fiercely before I could get out the two syllables, narrowing her eyes.

"Bella, this is about him. You cant lie to me- I know you better than that. Look at me," I demanded, for she had looked away. I waited until she had made eye contact again before I continued. "Never forget what I'm about to tell you, do you understand? I will engrave it in stone for you, just don't forget this next statement."

I stopped, and she nodded her head, wiping again at the tears still trailing down her cheeks. I spoke clearly and slowly.

"I've said this to you before, and I'll say it a million more times, before you finally believe me. _I will never hurt you._ Alright? And I wouldn't ever let _anything else _hurt you either."

She was silent for what seemed like hours. Finally, when I had decided to give up, to just go back home and pretend that I didn't just empty my heart out, something seemed to snap inside of Bella. A certain look of determination was in her eyes, and when she met them with mine, I saw resolve forming. Her arms, still at her sides, rose and locked around my neck; they were so fast it was almost a blur. She stretched her neck upwards, but she still wasn't quite tall enough to reach me fully. Again, I took her face in my hands, and pressed my lips to hers. She did not stiffen or freeze; in fact, she responded in a way that set my heart racing, moving her lips against mine excitedly. I could feel the pounding of her heart against my chest (that tells you something about how tightly pressed we were), and could feel mine hammering in sync with hers.

And it that moment, nothing else mattered. Not a person, not a helicopter, not a tornado. A volcano could erupt behind us, and I'd ignore that bitch. The earth could shatter around us, fall to pieces, and I would still be concentrating on how good her hair felt between my fingers, soft and warm, on our breathing, short and erratic, on her arms, strong and secure, around my neck.

When we finally did part, her face flushed pink, her hair a total mess, the only thing on my mind was how right that had felt, and how perfectly she had fit into my arms, like two pieces of a puzzle. I could only pray that she had felt the same.

"Was that… okay? For me to do?" she whispered, breaking the silence. She looked up at me hesitantly, licking her lips. I couldn't stop myself; I burst out laughing, sweeping her hair from her face and hopping to the ground. I turned and gripped her waist before she could move and lifted her off the log, setting her onto the grass before me. A look of puzzlement was on her face at my laughter, but she also wore a tiny smile.

I clasped my hands behind her back, resting them just at her tailbone. She slipped her fingers into my belt loops.

"That," I told her, kissing her on the forehead, "was perfect."

**(A/N): Alright, ready everyone? All together now! One… two… three! AAAAWWWWWW! Okay. So, now that that's out of my system… he he. Anyways, sorry for the jumping around with the POV's, I promise I'll stick to one per chapter now. I just thought that the whole thing would be a lot better in Jacob's point of view. You know the drill, review until you break the review button, yadda yadda. I wont keep you waiting much longer, Chapter 7 shall be up soon. **

**Again, I say… Review!**

**Love,**

**ECG000**


	7. Chapter Seven

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
Does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
__It sounds so sweet  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak._

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
__With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

To say that Charlie was happy for me- for us- was an understatement.

He had been throwing smiles at Jacob and I all night. Every time he spotted us holding hands he beamed at me, and he looked like he would very well explode with pride when Jacob had kissed me goodnight.

"Well, Bells, I give you both my blessing." He said as we pulled away from the Black's, one week after Jacob and I had officially begun dating.

"Yeah, Dad, I picked up on that." I teased, leaning back in my seat and sighing contentedly.

"I mean, you guys are great together, really. And Jake is so respectful. He may be two years younger, Bella, but his maturity certainly fills that gap. He's a fine young man."

"You talk like you're trying to sell me on him." I laughed lightly. "We're already dating, you know, you can drop the advertising."

"I'm just happy you two are finally together." he defended himself.

When we pulled up to the house, the sun was setting, and I could hear Charlie's stomach grumbling.

"I'll fix you some dinner." I told him as I paused inside to take my shoes off.

"Thanks, Bells. No need to cook anything special; I'm starved, leftovers will do." he said, but I was already shaking my head no.

"I'm in a special mood tonight. How about breakfast for dinner? I just bought some pancake batter yesterday, and we've got eggs in the fridge." I suggested.

"That sounds great." he agreed, and went into the living room. I could hear ESPN's theme song as I rummaged through the fridge for the milk and eggs. I grabbed some blueberries too, deciding to put those in the pancakes. I moved around the kitchen slowly, my mind racing with today's events.

It had only been three days since I had seen Jacob last, but today, when I finally saw him again, I realized that it had been too long for me. It must have been too long for him, too, because I had never seen him out the door and down the steps faster than I had this afternoon. When he kissed me, I felt the previous days issues melt away. We had walked down the beach again, holding hands, and swapping stories about what had happened to one another while we were apart. Jacob had finals; I had yearbook pictures; nothing out of the ordinary.

It was strange to me, still, that there had ever been any doubt of my feelings for Jacob. Things were so right between us now, it was a wonder to me that it took us this long to become a couple. Every now and again I would bring this up, and Jacob would tell me that I analyzed things too much. I couldn't help but agreeing with him on that subject, although it had less to do with my obsession with finding answers, as he thought, and more to do with the fact that I was the Queen of Worryville.

As I stirred the pancake batter, throwing in blueberries as I went, I smiled to myself. Everything was working itself out. I was happy, Jacob was happy. Charlie was happy, (ecstatic was more like it) and Renee was exploding with excitement for me. She had made me send a picture of Jacob and I together, and she swore that just by viewing the stand-still she could tell than we were happy. I tried to point out to her that we looked happy because we were _smiling,_ but she wouldn't hear it. A part of me knew that Charlie and Renee were only this happy because I was happy- or, rather, that I wasn't in a spiraling black hole of depression. And I was okay with that. It was better than having them disapprove of our relationship.

_Our relationship._ It felt good to say that again.

When the pancakes were finished and piled, steaming, on a plate, and I had poured the eggs onto the griddle, I pulled out my cell phone from my back pocket and dialed Jacob. I had promised him I would call when I got home, but I had only just remembered.

He answered on the first ring; apparently he had been sitting by the phone, waiting.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jake." I said, stirring the eggs. The name felt funny coming out of my mouth. I had known it to be something that only his closer friends and family called him, but I had adopted it, regardless. It fit, though, seeing as he called me 'Bell' and 'Bells,' nicknames that only Charlie ever called me.

"Did you only just get home? What happened?" he asked, frantic. "Are you okay?"

"Calm down, I'm fine. I got home a minute ago, I just forgot to call first thing." I admitted, cradling the phone between the crook of my neck and my shoulder to free my hand so that I could grip the pan.

"You had me freaking out, Bell." he muttered.

"Why? Its not like I was driving drunk or anything, and I was with my dad," I assured him. "You know, the _chief of police?_"

"Yeah, I know. Guess I'm just a bit protective."

"I get that, but you don't have to worry. I'm a big girl." I murmured gently into the phone, sprinkling cheese over the eggs and stirring some more. "I can handle a car ride home."

"I know." he said again, sighing. I could picture him running a hand down his face and rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry."

"It's okay." I said, smiling.

"Anyways, how about a picnic on the beach first thing tomorrow? We could go surfing."

"That sounds great, Jake. I'd love to go surfing." I smiled. "You still have a few things to go over with me, though. I know it's hard to believe, what with the astonishing skills I showed during my first try." Jacob laughed. "But you'll have to come and get me. My truck is acting up."

"Not surprising- Jesus himself probably rode in that ancient thing." he grumbled, but I could hear the playfulness in his tone.

"Don't knock the truck." I laughed, scooping the eggs into a salad bowl and placing them on the table. "My truck will go and beat your car's ass."

"With it's cane," he muttered, but laughed. "Alright, alright. I'll pick you up around ten, okay?"

"It's a date." I agreed. "Oh, and don't worry about the food, I'll pack the basket. You just bring the boards."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Bella."

"See you then."

We hung up, and I pulled two plates from the cupboard and two glasses. I filled each cup with orange juice, and set them both down on the table. I alerted Charlie that dinner was done, and he came in the kitchen with a look that suggested that he had been listening to my conversation with Jacob. I set Charlie's loaded plate in front of him and my placed own plate across from him.

"Who's that for?" he asked, eyeing my plate as I grabbed the syrup and sat down.

"Myself," I said in an 'isn't it obvious' tone, and began spreading butter across my pancakes.

"You… you're going to eat with me?" Charlie said, with his fork of eggs frozen in the air. I nodded slowly.

"Is that okay?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Yes, yes, that's fine, of course. It was just surprising, that's all." he muttered the last bit, and hurried to take a large bite. I knew what he meant- every night, after I fixed him his plate, I began my walk to my room. And every night, without fail, Charlie requested that I eat dinner with him. I denied, always, giving him the old, 'I'm not hungry', excuse, knowing full well that he didn't buy a word of it, and I would go to bed. It wasn't just dinner I avoided; I never ate breakfast or lunch with him either. I didn't eat anything- ever- really. I mean, every now and again I would nibble on some food, enough to keep my body running, enough to stay healthy. But, considering the one-eighty turn that things had taken, I found that I was suddenly ravenous.

"Well, I'm pretty hungry tonight." I said, taking a huge bite to prove myself. He gave me an approving smile, which I returned once I had swallowed. We continued eating in silence for a while.

"So Dad," I continued a moment later, before Charlie could get too deep into his newspaper, "Jake invited me to a picnic tomorrow."

"That's great, Bell. Is it a group outing?" he asked, not sounding the least bit surprised at my statement. I could hear the hopeful edge to his tone; he wanted the answer to be no, that much was clear.

"No, it's just going to be me and him. We'll be on First Beach, like always, and I'll have my cell on me-"

"Okay, sounds good. Go and have yourself some fun, Bella." he interrupted before I could finish, obviously approving of my plans. I smiled at his eagerness for me to get out of the house.

"I will. You done with your plate?" I asked, standing up. He nodded, so I took both of our dishes to the sink.

"That was great, Hon. Well," he said, stretching and yawning, "I'm off to bed."

I nodded in acknowledgment and started the tap. I scrubbed the dishes methodically, a small smile on my lips, and then dried and put them away when I was finished. Then I wiped down the counters, too, and cleaned the walls of the sink until they gleamed. Satisfied, I went upstairs, flipping the light switch as I went. As I walked up the stairs, my butt began to vibrate.

Pulling out my phone, I saw that I had a new text message. I knew who it was before I opened it, but it still made my heart leap when I saw the recipient. Reading it, I couldn't help the huge grin that seemed to spread on my face without my permission.

_Goodnight, Bell. Sweet dreams. -Jacob_

The next morning, though Jacob had said he would be here at ten, I awoke at seven. I was fully rested and ready for the days events, and it took me only a small minute to realize why I felt to refreshed. I had slept without nightmares. Again.

Life was good.

I showered slowly, washing my hair with care. I actually waited the three minutes the back of my conditioner bottle told me to. I washed my face carefully, wiping away all traces of the night. After I was totally clean and the entire bathroom was thick with steam and smelled of my body wash, I stood under the scalding stream of water until it ran cold.

Stepping out and wrapping in a towel, I checked my phone for messages. Nothing- Jacob might not even be awake yet. It was only seven forty five.

I crossed the hall into my bedroom. Rummaging through my drawers, I found my bathing suit and slipped it on, careful not to look at myself in the mirror. I knew that Jacob thought I was pretty, and I trusted that, but frankly, I still wasn't quite casual enough with him to go prancing around in my bikini without feeling self-conscious. As I slid on the only pair of jean shorts I owned, I thought of how much I was in need of a shopping trip. I decided that I would ask Angela on Monday to go with me to Port Angeles.

I put on a black tank top, glad that it matched my black bathing suit, and then ran a comb through my long hair.

I was just closing the tube of my newly discovered waterproof mascara when the doorbell rang. I knew Charlie was down stairs and could have gotten the door himself, but for reasons even I don't know, I sprinted down the steps and called out, "I got it!" before Charlie had even gotten out of his chair in the living room. I felt an odd sense of deja vu as I wrenched the door out of my way, but ignored it. When I finally got past all the locks (they seemed intent on not opening for me) I saw that it wasn't Jacob standing there, but a FedEx worker holding a package under his arm. The smile vanished from my face as he spoke.

"Ms. Swan?"

"That's me." I grumbled, completely disappointed that man outside was definitely not Jacob.

"You've got a package from Mrs. Dwyer." he informed me, shoving the box into my arms. I shifted it onto my hip and signed the slip, muttering my thanks as he walked away. Before I could shut the door, I heard the rumbling of a car pulling up our drive, and looked up to see a black Ford F250 stopping at the foot our the driveway. The smile that had disappeared sprang back to life on my face when I saw Jacob hop out of the cab. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me, waiting for him. I set the package down at my feet as he sauntered towards me.

"Morning, Pretty Lady." he murmured in my ear, his arms snaking themselves around my waist. I placed my hands on his chest and smiled up at him.

"Hey there. I haven't made our basket yet, and I'm not done getting ready, so you're going to have to wait inside for a minute." I told him.

"That's fine. Is, uh, is Charlie home?" he asked, a nervous edge to his voice. I laughed and stood up on my tip toes to kiss him. He met my lips only briefly, and I frowned at him.

"Yes, he is. He's watching baseball."

"Who's winning?" he asked, drumming his fingers against the small of my back, a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Mariners."

"Good, that means he'll be softened up. I guess it's safe to go inside."

"Jake, you've known Charlie since you were, like, born. Why're you so afraid of him all of the sudden?" I asked, clasping my hands behind his neck.

"Because now, I'm doing this to his daughter." he said, and leaned down to kiss me. I smiled against his lips.

"Well, in that case, you should be terrified. You know how much Charlie hates you." I said sarcastically.

"I knew it." he chuckled, kissing me again. I kissed him back for a long moment, but pulled away before Charlie started wondering where I had gone to.

"Come on, let's get inside so I can finish up and we can get going." I said, extracting myself from his grasp and taking his hand. I pushed open the door and led him inside, throwing a meaningful glance at the living room.

"Go say hi." I mouthed, and had to suppress laughter at his expression. I gave him a gentle push, snickering as he sighed and walked hesitantly towards the sound of ESPN.

I quickly made sandwiches and threw some chips inside a Ziploc. Then I grabbed the picnic basket out of the pantry and pulled a blanket from the linen closet. I stuffed the blanket in the basket, stacked the sandwiches on top, and put the chips inside as well. After a second though, I threw in a bag of strawberries and grapes.

Then I ran upstairs and into my bedroom, fixing my hair in the mirror and slipping on a pair of flip flops. I sprayed on some perfume, grabbed my beach towel, and walked back downstairs. I could hear Charlie laughing, so obviously things were fine with him and Jacob.

"Bell!" Charlie called, just as I was stowing a bottle of soda inside the basket, being careful not to squish the sandwiches.

"Yeah, Dad?" I answered, pulling out an icepack from the freezer.

"Come in here for a sec."

I stuffed it inside, next to the soda, and walked into the living room.

Jacob was sitting on the loveseat, and Charlie was in his recliner. I eyed Jacob, who patted the space next to him. I furrowed my brows, and he patted the seat again encouragingly. I perched on the edge of the seat and stared at Charlie expectantly.

"Jake tells me you're going surfing?" he said. I nodded slowly, wondering where this could be going. I turned around and glanced at Jacob. He just smiled at me, and I decided to chance my luck and leaned into him, placing a hand on his knee. Charlie pretended not to notice and carried on with his talking. Clearly he wasn't upset.

"That sounds fun. And you're staying for dinner then, too?"

"That wasn't in the original plans, but yeah, I can stay at Billy's for dinner."

"Good, good. That's really good." he muttered, and I looked at him quizzically.

"Okay, that's all. You can go back to packing your food." he said absently, turning back to the game. I gave Jacob a 'What-was-the-point-of-that?' look, but stood up and walked back into the kitchen. Jacob followed behind me, and leaned up against the counter as I shut the basket and lifted the handles.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked, placing the basket on my arm and turning to face him. I decided to question him about Charlie when we were out of the house.

"Yup. Have you got everything?" I nodded, and walked towards the door.

"We're leaving, Dad." I called over my shoulder, grabbing my phone off the table and stuffing it in my back pocket.

"Bye, kids. Have fun, be safe." he answered. I opened the door and stepped outside, and Jacob took my hand wordlessly. As we walked towards the truck, I glanced back at the house.

"What was with Charlie?" I asked. Jacob walked around to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door for me, then took the picnic basket off my arm and placed it on the seat. "He was acting… odd."

"He's happy for us." he said quietly, shrugging his shoulders. "Told me about fifty times, too." I eyed him skeptically. I was still confused at Charlie, but Jacob had no reason to lie, and I didn't care enough to delay the trip any further. I planted my foot onto the ridge on the side of the truck and attempted to hoist myself inside- I say attempt because I slipped and landed on the ground, just barely avoiding falling flat on my ass. Jacob chuckled, and placed his hands on either side of my waist. He lifted me into the cab easily, and shut my door behind me.

"This is a pretty big truck you have, Jake." I commented when he was in the drivers seat beside me.

"Makes it easier to carry my bike to the shop and boards to the beach." he said, smiling at me. He turned the key in the ignition, hit the gas, and pulled out of my street.

"I like it." I murmured, taking his hand and holding it on the center console. "I think it's kind of… hot." Jacob laughed and arched an eyebrow at me.

"Oh yeah?" he said, "Not the motorcycle, not the surfboard. You think the _truck_ is hot."

I laughed with him. "Yeah. The truck… it's got a sort of charm to it. It's cute."

"Maybe it's just me." he waggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's the truck."

"Thanks, Bell."

"No problem." I grinned, leaning back and putting my feet up on the dashboard. Jacob rolled the windows down, and the humid air whipped my hair against my face, causing my eyes to water. But I really didn't care- I was with Jacob, it was a great day outside, and I was wearing waterproof mascara.

"Jake, I can carry one of those if you want." I offered, looking at him over my shoulder. He was carrying both of the surfboards, one under each arm, plus the picnic basket. The only thing I was carrying was our towels, and I felt useless.

"I got it, Bella." he insisted for the third time. He really did seem to be fine; he wasn't out of breath or anything. I sighed, turned around and kept walking.

"Here is good, I think." he said a moment later, setting the boards down on a spot a few yards from the waves. I nodded and spread out our towels on the sand, placing the basket in between them. Jacob splayed out on his towel, clasping his hands behind his head. I ignored my towel and sat between his knees, and began rubbing sun block on my arms.

"Bell, you aren't ever going to get a tan if you put that crap all over yourself." Jacob said, taking the sun block bottle from me and reading the back.

"Jake, I don't tan, I fry. Not an attractive sight. Plus, haven't you ever heard of skin cancer? No thanks." I said, reaching for the bottle and missing as he pulled it out of my reach.

"SPF 75? Jeez, Bella." he chuckled. I made another grab for the bottle and slipped, loosing my balance, and slamming onto Jacob's chest. I made an 'oomph!' sound as the wind was knocked out of me. Jacob immediately caught me by the arms before I could roll off him and onto the sand, and I gripped his shoulders for support. He, of course, burst out laughing, which made me blush ridiculously. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sorry, Bell. Sorry. Not funny." he said to my glare, trying to quiet his laughter. When his guffaws turned into muted chuckles, I smiled at him and shrugged.

"I told you I was clumsy."

"I've noticed- that's twice that you've almost impaired yourself in a very short span of time."

"Well, you cant say that I didn't warn you. I might lose a limb out there." I nodded towards the ocean. He let go of my arms, and I rolled off him and onto the towel. I snuggled up to his side, and he put an arm around my shoulders.

"You wont lose anything while I'm here," he murmured, playing with my hair absently. We were quiet for a long moment, listening to the sound of the waves rolling onto the shore. I laid my head on his chest, and could hear his steady heartbeat in my ear.

"Is it weird to you?" I blurted, looking up at him. He looked down at me.

"Is what weird?" he asked, his hand freezing mid-hair-stroke.

"You and me. How… I don't know, how natural it is? Between us. Don't you feel it?" I said, feeling sort of stupid.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, arching an eyebrow and cocking his head to the side.

"I don't know, just these… vibes, I guess you could say. Am I making any sense?"

"Sort of. I get what you mean." he nodded his head. "The chemistry."

"Yeah." I agreed, even though I wasn't talking about our chemistry- this was something different. I was talking about how perfectly we fit together, like puzzle pieces. How I was getting all these good omens every where, how everything seemed to be falling into place. But I didn't want to creep him out with my analytical crap, so I kept my mouth shut and played with his shirt.

"You ready to surf?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Or lack thereof." I grinned, sitting up so he could stand.

"You'll do great." he encouraged, taking my hand. He pulled me up so that I was standing. As soon as I was steady, he took a step backward and pulled of his shirt, throwing it in a heap on his towel in one fluid movement. I reached up and tied my hair back into a knot, and hesitantly pulled at the edge of my tank top as Jacob pulled out the surf wax and bent over the boards.

_Just take it off, you wimp. Jacob took his off easily enough,_ I told myself mentally. That other, scardy cat part of my brain reminded me that he was a guy, that it was different for him, but that nagging voice drowned it out. _Just do it! It's _Jacob. _Just get it over with. _Hearing voices- never a good thing.

Sighing, I pulled my shirt up and over my head in one swift motion, exposing my black bikini top._ There. That was simple enough._ And it was, I had to admit it. But I was keeping my damn shorts on- that nagging voice could go suck it.

Then something seemed to snap in my head- and I suddenly wanted to throw back on all of my clothes as soon as I realized what I had on- or what I _didn't_ have on, to be more specific. But I guess Jacob had either heard the thump of my clothes or had finished the boards, because he looked up to see me standing there, baring everything. I couldn't change now that he had seen, what would that tell him?

His eyes grew a few sizes and his jaw dropped.

What in the hell was I thinking?

Jacob stood up quickly and averted his eyes, swallowing. He made sure to make complete eye contact with me as he spoke.

"Come on, let's take a dip before we get on the boards." he took my hand. I smiled at him, trying to pretend that I had on a sweater and jeans, that I was completely covered and comfortable, that I wasn't half naked.

He led me to the water wordlessly, and only broke his hold of my hand when I stopped at the waters edge and he kept going.

"I'll, uh, be there in a sec." I called after him, waving him on. He shrugged his shoulders, turned, and dived into a wave. I stuck my foot in, and sighed in relief- it was a hell of a lot warmer than the last time I had been here. It was actually pretty bearable, so I walked right in, wincing only slightly when the water level passed over my stomach. Jacob waded over to me, grinning.

"You got in easy enough." he said, taking both of my hands and pulling me out deeper.

"Yeah, well last time, the water was like death itself. I almost got hypothermia." I replied. He shook his head, grinning.

"Hold your breath." he instructed. I gripped his hands tighter, and drew a long breath before I let him pull us under. I was enveloped in blackness for a short moment, and then I was in the air again, sputtering.

"That damned wind is still awful, though." I muttered, cringing into Jacob's chest as the biting wind nipped at my wet skin. He chuckled, and pulled me under one more time. We swam around for another minute, splashing at each other and laughing, before we went back in for the boards.

When we were back in the waves, tugging both of our boards behind us, I insisted that he got some surfing in on his own. I got more out of watching him have fun than actually surfing anyways, and I loved the way his face lit up when he caught a big wave. So I hung back in the shallower waters, just floating on my board, and watched him defy the laws of gravity. After a good fifteen minutes of me cheering him on, he paddled over to me.

"Are you ready to try it out?" he asked, dripping and breathless. I giggled at the puppy-dog expression he had, and shook my head.

"Why don't you just go out and have fun, Jake?"

"Because I can surf by myself whenever. I want to surf with you for a change, and plus, it makes me happy to be doing this with you."

"Damn. That was a good answer." I muttered. He gave me a smug grin.

"Well, we can go eat first, and then get back out here." he amended. I pursed my lips, and decided that putting it off for a little while was better than doing it immediately.

"Okay." I nodded, and got off the board, pulling it behind me as we made our way back to shore. Jacob collapsed on his towel, and I knelt beside the basket and unlatched the top. I pulled out the blanket and spread it out next to our towels, and threw the wrapped sandwiches on top of it.

"Oh, shit." I muttered as I pulled out the bottle of soda.

"Whoa, Bells. Apparently you've been picking up on my dirty mouth." Jacob laughed. "What's the matter?"

"I didn't bring any cups. All I have is the two liter."

He crawled over to where I was sitting on the blanket. He sat Indian style beside me, and shrugged his shoulders.

"We can drink out of the bottle." he said. "I don't have a disease or anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously not, Jake. You think I would kiss you if you did?" I rose my eyebrows. He smirked.

"Of course you would. No one can resist my charm, _or_ my stellar kissing skills." I shook my head and handed him a sandwich. Then I pulled out the bag of chips and fruit, and pulled my own sandwich onto my lap. Jacob just stared at me.

"What?" I asked, wishing that I could put my shirt back on.

"You're going to eat?" he asked incredulously. I sighed.

"Why is it such a shock to everyone? I eat!" I said, exasperated. Jacob laughed and unwrapped his food, taking a huge bite before answering.

"I know you do. Just… not as often as other people."

I took a bite of my sandwich instead of replying. We chewed silently for a minute, and when we were both finished I pulled over the fruit and set it between us. Jacob snatched the bag away from me before I could open it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I've always wanted to do this. Hang on." he said, turning halfway around and fiddling with the bag behind his back.

"You've always wanted to steal fruit from me? Or you've always wanted to open a plastic bag?" I asked.

"Just hang on." he said, finally managing to pull out three strawberries and a cluster of grapes. "Come here."

I was still confused but complied, scooting so that I was in front of him. He held out a strawberry, and I reached for it. He pulled it away again before I could grab it, though.

"No, I want to do it!" he complained, sounding like a four year old. I laughed, and put my hands in the air.

"What? What do you want to do?"

"You are so difficult." he muttered. "Put your hands behind you back." I did. "Open your mouth."

And then I got it- he wanted to feed it to me.

"Oh!" I giggled, suddenly feeling very blonde. He shook his head at my incompetence and held the strawberry in the air again. I opened my mouth, and he shoved it in. I almost choked, and had to pull the strawberry back out with my own hands before I suffocated.

"That wasn't cute or romantic at all!" I coughed, wiping at the juice on my chin with the back of my hand.

"I know." he smiled at me boyishly.

We finished our meal, and though I refused to let Jacob feed me anything else, I did throw a couple of grapes in the air that he caught with his mouth. (Really, he had some talent. I was pretty impressed.) By the end of our little picnic I was starting to feel confident for whatever reason, and I decided that I would give actual surfing another shot. I stood up, brushing away crumbs and pulling my damp hair out of it's bun so that I could redo it. I turned and saw Jacob still sitting on his towel and gaping at me, and I put my hands on my hips.

"Are you planning on getting up any time soon?" I asked, smiling. He stood, but instead of going for the boards, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer, so that we were chest to chest.. His touch was electrifying on my bare skin, sending shivers up my spine. His arms wound around my waist, and I was enveloped in the warmth emanating from his skin. His lips dropped to my ear, his breath ticking me as he spoke.

"Have I told you today how goddamned beautiful you look?" he said fiercely.

"No." I shook my head, swallowing.

"Well, Bella," he said, gazing at me steadily, his brown eyes smoldering, "You are so goddamned beautiful."

At the exact moment that I stood on my toes, he leaned forward and met my lips with his. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him enthusiastically, causing him to stagger backwards. He tightened his grip on my waist and collapsed back onto the blanket, keeping me steady and never breaking contact. He cradled me to his chest, setting me in the same position I had been in when I slipped trying to get the lotion. I threw my leg over his waist, straddling him, pulling away for half a second so that I could toss my long hair over my shoulder. The cool dampness of my hair rose goose bumps on my feverish skin. He moved his lips to my jaw, giving me a moment to breathe. Before I had actually gotten two gasps in, I pulled his mouth back to mine. His hands found the back of my head, his fingers braiding into my hair, pressing me impossibly closer. We stayed like that for a while, my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands running over the length of my hair and down my back. Occasionally his hand would brush the outside of my thigh, or he would murmur something in Quileute between kisses.

What had gotten into me? I was not the type of person to go around in her bikini, making out with her boyfriend, on a public beach. I was not the type of person to go around in her bikini period. Or have a boyfriend. Or make out. Obviously, my outlook on life had changed more than I had originally thought. Some small part of my brain told reminded me that I hated it when girls did this, that I had always told myself that I wouldn't act like that in public. And yet, I couldn't find it in me to stop myself. I _liked_ the way my heart raced, liked the way the planes of his sculpted chest felt under my hands. I liked the way he held me. I liked the way his mouth felt on mine. _To hell with what's right and what's wrong,_ I thought. _This is what _I_ want. Everyone else can get over it._

And so I decided that I would become that girl, who used frequent PDA with her boyfriend and didn't care what anyone else thought, because damnit, I. Liked. It.

Suddenly, he gripped me by the elbows and rolled gently until he was on top of me, which, in turn, made me squish the bag of strawberries and grapes under me.

"Damnit," Jacob growled against my lips, pulling away and moving off of me. I laughed and arched my back off the blanket, and he reached under me and grabbed the ruined fruit. He tossed the bag aside quickly.

He rolled back on top of me, breathless, a coy smile on his face. His body was heavy, crushing mine and restricting my airways partially. In all honesty, it didn't bother me one bit. I placed a hand on his cheek and smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed me once more, softly, on the lips.

"So how about we just… stay here?" he asked, grinning widely.

"You don't want to surf?" I asked innocently, raising an eyebrow. He pushed his hair out of his face and smirked at me.

"Not anymore."

I giggled at him, and was once again immersed in a red haze of hands, lips, and sand.

**(A/N): Okay, so I thought I should bring this new and improved, sexy Bella into play. I figured that Jakeypoo would probably get sick of boring, conservative, shy Bella, and we cant let that happen, now can we? (No we cant was the correct answer to that one, by the way)  
****Anyways, I really tried to bring forth the whole, 'we're perfect for each other' crap- let me know if I did okay. (Ha ha, bet you guys thought this would actually be an A/N where I didn't ask you to review- think again!) So review the chapter, and tell me what you think. I know there's always room for some improvement.  
****One more thing. I would just like to give a SHOUT OUT to my Twin, TheSheWolf. She has helped me through so much, and I really don't think there would be a Lips Of An Angel without her. So thanks, Twin dear. You're my hero. Another thing, you guys might as well check out our story that we're writing TOGETHER- it's called "It's Too Late To Apologize," by the TwilightTwinz. (Don't forget the 'z';) ) It's still in the making, but we are currently in the process of posting more. So have fun with that one.  
****Thanks for reading, don't forget to review/favorite.**

**-ECG000**


	8. Chapter Eight

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
Does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
__It sounds so sweet  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak._

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
__With the lips of an angel._

**BPOV**

I awoke to the sound of an impatient fist pounding on the front door. I rolled over in my bed and groaned, stretching my arms over my head. Then my eyes caught the sight of my alarm clock- it was three in the morning. I glanced out my window to see if my clock was wrong, but it was still dark out, confirming the time. _The hell?_ The banging continued, relentless. My mind began to race- who would be here at this hour? And why in the world would they feel the need to wake up the neighborhood with that incessant knocking?

My heart began to pound as I went over all of the possibilities of who could be at my door in my head- none of them included Girl Scouts or the mail man. I scrambled out of bed, my feet tangling in my comforter, and made my way to Charlie's bedroom. I wanted his back up, his protection, before I even thought of facing whoever was at the door. But when I gently nudged the door open, I saw that the room was empty, his bed was made, and his boots were gone. _Impeccable timing, Dad. _I thought. _Just when I needed you._ I stood frozen in my father's doorway, with no clue as to what I was going to do.

I was seriously contemplating calling 911 when a voice called out from behind the door.

"Bella! Bella, open up!"

Relief and fear flooded through me at the same time. It wasn't a rapist or a murderer, it was only Jacob outside. But his normally cheerful voice was desperate and strained, which was puzzling and frightening.

I flew down the steps and opened the front door, not even bothering to turn the lights on in my haste. Before I could take another breath, Jacob threw himself at me. His arms crushed me to his chest, his face buried in my hair. I just stood there, my arms at my sides, my eyebrows knitted together. It took me a moment to realize that Jacob was completely drenched; his grey t-shirt was soaked and stuck to his skin, and his hair was dripping on me.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing here? And why are you all wet?" I babbled, my voice muffled my his chest. Jacob removed his arms from me, allowing me to speak clearly. But instead of answering my questions, he took my face in his hands and kissed me, hard. I usually melted at his touch, but I refused to be sidetracked. Something was wrong, and I would not be distracted until I found out what it was.

I broke away from his kiss and gave him a stern look that said, '_Answer the damn questions._'

"It's raining, and I was out there for a good fifteen minutes before you answered the door." he explained, slightly breathless, but not from the kissing. Something else had winded him. _Hmm._ A flash of very convenient lightning backed up his statement, followed immediately by a booming crack of thunder.

"Oh. Sorry." I muttered, and then realized that he had dodged my first question. "That still doesn't explain what you're doing here at three in the morning."

Something was there, in Jacob's brown eyes- guilt, was it? Remorse? And his expression was pained, almost- I hadn't been able to detect it without the lights on, but another flash of lighting illuminated his features.

"You- you left your phone at my place." he said slowly, and brought my cell out of his back pocket. I took it, turning it over in my hands. Then, I turned around and set it down on the table, sitting in the chair in front of it. Jacob followed suit and sat across from me.

"And you couldn't have waited to give it to me, oh, I don't know, when I was awake?" I rose an eyebrow.

Jacob bit his lower lip and raked a hand through his hair. He swallowed and continued, after taking both my hands in his and holding them on top of the table.

"It kept ringing and beeping, and I was trying to sleep, and I didn't know how to turn off the ringer, so I answered it. It- it was Phil, and he-"

"Phil?" I interrupted, furrowing my brows. "Phil Dwyer?"

"Yes, your mother's husband. He was there, and he sounded really upset, and he said that he needed to talk to you immediately. I told him that I would bring you your phone in the morning, and he started yelling at me, saying that it was an emergency. So I- I asked him what the problem was, if you were in trouble or anything,. He- he said- I just-" he spluttered, dropping my hands and burying his face in his. I was shocked- Jacob had never been this upset, not in front of me, at least. I wanted to scream in frustration- something was, obviously, seriously wrong, and I was no where closer to finding out what. All that I had was a clearly distraught Jacob.

Before I could stand up and go to him, to comfort him, his head shot up. He grabbed my phone and pressed it into my hands.

"You need to call him, Bella. Right now." he ordered, his eyes still holding that guilty look.

"Now? But why, what did he say?" I asked. All thoughts of Phil had been erased when I had seen how upset Jacob was, but the ferocity of Jacob's words made me remember why he was here in the first place.

"Right now. Call him." was all he replied. My mind was racing again- what in the world could Phil have to say that was so important? Why was Jacob so unsettled? What in the _hell _was going _on_? It was all so confusing, I felt like my brain was going to explode- I mean really, a girl could only take so much at three in the morning.

I propped my elbow up on the table and laid my head in my hand as I dialed my mother's house phone. I glanced up at Jacob, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Phil picked up on the second ring, and I automatically knew something was wrong when he answered.

"Hello?" his tone was distant, empty, but at the same time, filled with such grief. His voice was also raspy and cracked, indicating that he had been crying recently.

"Phil? What's going on?" I demanded, my eyes widening when I heard how awful he sounded.

"Bella! Oh thank God you called." he sighed in relief.

"What is going on?" I asked again, annoyed. I was sick of this beating around the bush crap everyone was pulling.

"Bella, it- I- something happened." he said, and his voice cracked.

"Something happened?" I repeated slowly, my angry tone gone. I picked my head up from my hand and stood. "What? Is everything okay?" I could hear Phil swallowing. He took a deep breath. I began pacing, and shot another look at Jacob, but again, he seemed to refuse to even look at me.

"There was an accident. A car accident. We were hit by a drunk driver, and it was raining. We spun out, the road was so slippery… and I lost control of the wheel. We… we landed in a swamp. And her head- and she- I couldn't save…" his voice broke completely, and I could hear him quietly begin to cry. I froze. He hadn't said who the 'she' was, but somehow I already knew who he was talking about.

_No, no, no, no, no. Please no. Please, please, please, no._

"Phil, where is she? Where's Mom?" I whispered, my own eyes filling with tears. My hands shook, my knees buckled.

"I'm so sorry. She didn't make it, Bella. Your mother is gone."

My heart shattered. My world crumbled. Some part of me was aware that I was falling, of Jacob's strong hands catching me before I could hit the floor. But I couldn't focus on anything else but Phil's words. His voice echoed in my ears, drowning out any other sound.

_She didn't make it, Bella._

I refused to believe it. My mother couldn't be dead. She had to have pulled through, she was so strong, and so brave, and full of life, and she just couldn't be dead. I wouldn't let her be dead.

_Your mother is gone._

Someone was making an awful noise, a noise that actually made it through the barrier of Phil's words; screaming like someone was murdering them, yelling at insane volumes. It took me a good five minutes before I realized it was me. And yet, I found that I couldn't stop myself.

_I couldn't save…_

Couldn't save what? Couldn't save her? Is that what he had been trying to say? His final words hit me one last time, making me recoil as if I had been slapped.

_I'm so sorry. She didn't make it, Bella. Your mother is gone._

Everything went black.

"She's going to be fine," a rumbling, familiar voice broke through the darkness.

"She's so still…" Someone whispered. Charlie?

"It's got to be the shock of everything, Chief." The deep voice repeated. It was Dr. Gerandy, I was sure of it.

"What do I do if she doesn't wake up?" Charlie whispered in that same agonized tone.

"She will. Just let her sleep it off. She'll come to terms with reality when she's ready to."

I felt something shift under me, and then I got the sensation of being lifted- someone had picked me up. I was suddenly enveloped in warmth and a relaxing scent that I vaguely recognized.

"You want her in her bed, Charlie?"

"Sure, Jacob. Sure."

Jacob? He was here? Of course he was here, he was the one who… No, I didn't want to think about that.

I was again plunged into a numb, emotionless void.

"When is the funeral?" Jacob's voice once again broke through the barrier I had put up. His voice was clear, ringing in me ear- he must be sitting very close to me.

"Three days." Charlie answered flatly. "It's going to be in Phoenix. Phil thought… thought she would like that." his voice cracked.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Jacob whispered. I felt pressure on my cheek, the crown of my head, my forehead. Someone was stroking my skin, my hair. Jacob, I presumed, since I could hear that he was the closest.

There was a long silence, the only sound I was able to detect was the soft rustling of Jacob's hand brushing against me.

"I think… that you should come with us, Jacob. To the funeral." Charlie said gruffly, his voice filled with tears. It made my heart clench.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to, you know, make any one uncomfortable. It isn't really my grief to share." Jacob murmured.

"Of course I'm sure. If Bella pulls through this… sleep, that she's in, in time for the funeral, she's going to need someone there. Someone besides me."

I couldn't stand that pain in his voice when he had said 'sleep'. The rational part of my brain told me that he was in pain because of what had happened to Renee, that the tremor in his voice was not all because his daughter was in a semi-coma, to stop being so self-centered. But I also knew that half of what was hurting him was me, and he already had enough to worry about.

It was time to pull through this. To face reality. To quit being such a coward, because I couldn't run from the truth forever. Charlie needed me, too. Not to mention that it killed me to have him stress over something as stupid as me refusing to come to terms with the world, when obviously he had bigger things to stress over.

My eyes fluttered open.

The first thing I registered was Jacob, kneeling down at my bedside. He wasn't looking at me; he had his eyes closed, his head down, pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. I stirred a little, to alert him that I was awake- I was afraid of what my voice would sound like if I opened my mouth.

His head snapped up, and I met his gaze drowsily. He took a sharp intake of breath, and his eyes widened, and then I was in his arms, my face buried in the crook of his neck as he held me tightly.

"Charlie, Charlie! She's awake." Jacob announced, relief practically radiating off of his body. I was limp in his arms, too weak to move, to do anything but keep my heavy eyes open, and breathe.

When Jacob released me, I saw that Charlie was on his knees at my bedside next to him. He had on a look of pure disbelief. I blinked at him, and opened my mouth to speak.

"Hey, Dad." I croaked.

And then I was wrapped in another bone crushing embrace. I found that I was capable of movement, and I lifted my arms to wrap around his neck. He gave me a squeeze and sighed.

"How are you feeling, baby?" He murmured into my ear, and pressed a soft kiss on my temple.

"Okay." I rasped out, and grimaced- my throat screamed in pain. I wanted something either really hot or really cold.

"Do you need anything?" Jacob asked. Charlie finally released me, and I looked over at Jacob.

There was a crease of worry in between his dark eyebrows as he stared intently at me. The intensity of his gaze, the way he scrutinized my every move made me a little paralyzed. I was frozen as his eyes held mine, and was unable to speak until he shifted his gaze to my comforter.

"Um, n-no. I'm fine." I choked, too stunned to say anything about my sore throat.

"I'm going to go heat you up some soup, Bell. Your voice sounds awful." Charlie (God bless him) muttered. His knees cracked as he stood up from his position next to my bed. I stared at Jacob while I nodded at Charlie, and as he made his way to my door, I thought of something.

"Wait, Dad!" I exclaimed, startling everyone with the extreme volume of my voice, including myself. He turned around halfway and eyed me expectantly. "Um, you have to take the soup out of the can. Put it in a bowl. And set the time for, um, two and a half minutes. Okay?" I said at a more appropriate noise level. He gave me a small smile.

"Got it." and he walked downstairs.

I turned back to Jacob as the door swung shut. He was still staring at my bed sheets.

"Jake?" I whispered, turning on my side and propping my head in my hand. He looked up, but wouldn't meet my eyes. He, instead, looked at my mouth. "I'm up here," I muttered, gesturing to my eyes with my other hand.

He finally looked me in the eye after a long moment.

"How long was I out?" I asked quietly.

"Two days." he said dryly.

"What is the matter with you?" I blurted, knitting my brows together, giving his slumped figure a scrutinizing once over.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why wont you fucking _look_ at me?" I snapped. His jaw clenched.

"I'm looking at you." he said through his teeth flat tone, and pointedly met my gaze. I sighed angrily, deciding that arguing with him was going to get me no where. I exhaled again, slowly, and laid my head back down on my pillow. I reached my hand out and brushed his cheek with my fingertips. He didn't flinch or turn away, which I took as a good sign.

"Jake?" I repeated in a whisper. "Lay with me?"

His eyes closed, and he swallowed. And I felt really damn stupid for asking, and more than a little hurt. The sting of rejection washed through me; I could feel tears budding in my eyes.

But then, without a word, he got up, and crawled onto the bed. He laid behind me, on top of the covers, with his chest pressed against my back. He lazily draped an arm over my waist and rested his chin on the crook of my neck. His arm pulled me closer, pressing me completely against his body.

If this was a different day, a day that wasn't oozing sadness and grief like this one, I would have been elated. Because we were totally spooning, and nothing made me happier than Jacob's embraces. But I couldn't find it in me to appreciate it like I should have.

I put my hand on top of his, and began playing with his fingers. His warm breath tickled my neck and ear. And we just laid there in silence, wrapped in each other's warmth. It was comforting, something I definitely needed at the moment.

"You aren't mad at me?" He whispered suddenly, startling me a little. "Sorry," he added when I jumped slightly.

"Why would I be mad at you, Jacob?" I rasped. He didn't answer, just kept breathing steadily into my hair and neck. I counted to thirty in my head, slowly. Still no reply. Finally I turned and faced him, flipping my whole body around so that we were chest to chest. I reached my hand out and stroked his cheek again. He caught my wrist and held it there, against his face.

"So is that a no?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"There's no reason for me to be angry with you," I told him honestly. Where was this coming from? _He_ was the one acting like he was mad at _me._ Not the other way around.

"Okay." was all he replied. He removed his hand from mine and reached forward. He put his fingers under my chin and ran his thumb along my bottom lip, and then across my top one. His thumb rested at the corner of my mouth for a moment, and then he leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. His mouth lingered on mine for an extra second, before he pulled away and rolled onto his back. He stared at the ceiling as a contemplative look overcame his features. He got that crease between his brows again, and he pressed his lips into a tight line- he was definitely trying to decide something.

I scooted so that I was nested against his side, and rested my head against his chest. His steady heartbeat calmed me, relaxed my nerves.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, peeking up at him. He was still staring at the ceiling, further proving my point that he wouldn't. Fucking. Look at me.

"Charlie wants me to go to the funeral with you." he stated flatly.

"So come with me." I answered simply, fingering the fabric of his shirt. I ignored the lump in my throat, the knot in my stomach, the way my hands had begun to shake. Because even though I had opened my eyes, I had never really wanted to face the reality that my mother was gone.

"But I've never met your mother." he whispered, cradling his arm around my neck, burying his fingers in my tangled hair. And I knew what he meant when he said this- he felt that it was wrong to show up to a stranger's funeral, to be around a bunch of people who loved and cared for my mother while he had only seen pictures of her, had only heard my stories about her and her wild escapades. He would feel awkward, and ashamed that he couldn't be upset about her death, that he couldn't cry and grieve over her like everyone else. It was exactly how I had felt when Charlie's mother had died- I had only met my grandma once, and it was when I was only four.

But still, I needed Jacob there. I needed that familiar comfort he offered me. I needed to know that after the funeral, I could easily escape to my bed and have him hold me while I cried.

"I want you there." I croaked in my grating voice. "And plus… it- it would mean a lot to her if you came. That you cared enough to show up, even if it was just for me." I added.

He turned again to face me, propping himself up with one arm. My head fell from his chest and landed on my pillow again. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead gently, and then pushed himself off of the bed. My mattress groaned under his weight, and, with a frown, I sighed when I realized he was leaving. I turned my body, again, so that I could watch him go.

He laced up his tennis shoes and grabbed his keys off my computer desk. Then, he knelt before me once again.

"Okay." he said, a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

"Okay… what?" I arched a brow.

"Okay, I'll go with you to Phoenix. To the ceremony." he replied. I noticed that he refrained from saying 'funeral'.

"Thanks, Jake. It means a lot to me." I whispered, offering him a phantom smile.

"I know." he whispered back, reaching out a hand and smoothing my hair off of my forehead. He then leaned forward and gave me another kiss there, quick and chaste.

"Bye, Bells. I'll come back tomorrow, okay?" he murmured. I frowned again and nodded. He stood up and walked to my door, and with a final half-wave and another promise of returning, he was gone.

Though I knew he would come back to see me tomorrow, a small voice in my head still whispered, _Just like Renee._

Charlie was making me go to school. To Forks _fucking_ High School.

When he had woken me up this morning to tell me I had to go, to say that I was pissed was an understatement. I was _livid._ Not to mention shocked, and more than a little hurt.

"What the fuck do you mean, I have to go to school?" I blanched, still half-asleep.

"You had better watch your language, young lady," he scolded, his tone hard and uncompromising. "And you need to go to school, Bella. Just because something happens, it doesn't mean you don't still have an education to receive. Now get up, get dressed, I'm driving you."

It wasn't a request. It was an order.

_What the hell? _

"Remind me again, why you're being a complete fuckwad?" I snapped harshly, sitting upright in bed and glaring at him. His face softened as tears brimmed in my eyes.

"Bella," he said softly, his commanding tone gone, "You need to live a normal life. School provides stability. And right now, the thing you need most is stability."

"Right now, what I need is to go back to bed and wallow around in my grief for a while, before I go to my mother's fucking funeral!" I had started this statement in a sort of scary, quiet tone, but by the end of it, I was shouting.

"I'm doing this for you." he whispered. "Get dressed, or you're going to school in what you have on." he demanded, looking pointedly at my holey t-shirt and bleach stained sweat pants, visible because I had thrown off my sheets some time during my fitful slumber. He shut my door, just barely missing the pillow I pelted at his head. It hit the wood with a dull thud, and slid down the door, landing on the hardwood of my floor.

"Aaagghh!" I screamed in frustration, my sore throat complaining the entire time. Something told me that Charlie wouldn't hesitate to fucking drag me to school in my pajamas, even if I was kicking and screaming.

This sudden need for 'stability' of his was seriously a pain in the ass.

And so, due to Charlie's persistent yelling, ordering, and yes, threatening, I was in the cruiser fifteen minutes later, with my backpack at my feet and my arms folded over my chest. I slumped down in my seat unceremoniously and glared at the dashboard until the car stopped in front of the school. Without another word, I grabbed my bag and got out of the car, making sure to slam the door as hard as I possibly could. I fought the urge to punch Charlie in his big stupid face the entire time.

I didn't return his wave as I stalked off towards English, the hood of my jacket drawn up over my head. I fantasized about breaking his jaw, or busting his lip. I ignored the fact that I would probably miss anyways, and if I did manage to hit him, I would more than likely hurt _myself_ before I did any real damage to his face.

My classes passed by in a blurry haze. I sat in my seat and moved not a single muscle, didn't bother to do any of the assignments my teachers handed me. I just sat and glared at the chalkboard, or the wall, or out the window. I only spoke when directly spoken to, and only if it was something that couldn't be answered with a nod or a shake of my head. I received many wary glances, a lot of furrowed brows, and a shit ton of confused, worried stares and whispers as I made my way to lunch. I decided to sit with Angela and Jessica and all the others, instead of my old, empty table.

I bought my food, and glared at that, too, for a few minutes. Then, shoving my tray aside, I laid my head down on the table for the rest of the hour, hood still drawn up. I was just on the verge of sleep when the bell rang. I stood, dumping my full tray of food in the trash, and made my way out of the cafeteria without having said a single word the entire lunch period.

It wasn't until I heard Lauren and Jessica's voices whispering my name that I slowed my steps down from the half-run I had acquired.

"It appears that Ms. Bella Swan has once again been dumped." I recognized Jessica's gossip voice. My fists clenched in my pockets.

"Why do you say that?" Lauren whispered back. I could feel her mucky-brown eyes burning holes into the back of my hood.

"Look at the way she's been acting all day! It was the same thing when Eddy Boy up and left- the 'poor pity me' pout, her vacant expression, she didn't even touch her food, the disgusting way her hair hasn't been brushed or washed… All signs point to a Bella Dumping, and I can almost guarantee to you that she wasn't partial to the break-up." She giggled nastily, and the urge to punch someone swelled inside me again, my fists shaking in my pockets. My vision was turning red, my breathing sharp and angry.

"Well, you really cant blame the guy. Honestly, why would anyone be with Bella Swan?"

That was it.

I whirled on them, and they both stopped dead in their tracks. Something about the glint in Jessica's eyes told me that she had meant for me to hear her every word, and really, it was her face that I wanted to break. But Lauren so happened to be standing closer to me, and her ultra-glossed mouth and surgically perfected nose looked pretty damn punchable, so I turned to her.

I took two steps closer than I should have and got right in her face, so that our noses were almost touching. I noticed that Jessica shifted her body so that she was standing behind Lauren. _Coward._

"You. Little. _Bitch._" I spat, my mouth turning up into a sneer. "How _dare_ you, talk about me like you know what's going on in _my_ _life_." The look on her face was priceless, the fear in her eyes was radiating off of her body in waves. Jessica and Lauren talked shit on everyone, but no one, _no one,_ had ever confronted them about it. And oh, boy would they be sorry that it was me they fucked with today- I was suddenly feeling very confrontational.

"Who's the one person in this world that you couldn't live without? That one person, who you'd fucking kill for? _Die_ for? Imagine that person being ripped away from you, never to return, no matter _how much_ fucking money Daddy throws their way. I've lived through that twice now, and," my eyes narrowed as they wandered over Lauren's Gucci purse, Jessica's Dolce & Gabana glasses, Lauren's Tiffany charm bracelet. I took a step back and folded my arms across my chest. "You probably couldn't survive your credit card being declined. So don't you two sit there and whisper about shit when you don't have the slightest clue as to what really went down."

"Oh, sassy!" Lauren snapped, turning her face so she could look at Jessica and cackle.

The crunch of her nose as my fist made contact with her face was probably the most satisfying sound I had ever heard. And yet, it wasn't enough- so I hooked my left arm around and brought my fist to her jaw. Her teeth came together audibly and her head snapped backwards.

Jessica shrieked as Lauren staggered back and fell, flat on her ass, onto the cold, hard cement. Lauren brought a hand to her nose, which was bleeding rather profusely onto her designer jeans, and gaped up at me. Jessica pulled a wad of tissues from her purse and jammed them against her friends face, then whipped her head around to look at me.

"_What the fuck_, freak?" she screamed at me, crouching in front of Lauren's crumpled form and holding more Kleenex to her bloody nose.

"Spreading false gossip isn't good for your reputation, Jess," I smiled down at her. "You should really get your facts straight before you go talking shit." Then I leaned down and got up in her face, too, placing my hands on my knees. My sugary smile fell from my lips "News flash: I wasn't dumped, you hateful cow. My fucking _mother_ _is dead_."

The distinctive sound of running feet was approaching, fast, and then suddenly the principal was standing five feet away from us, gaping. His wide eyes flickered from me, to Lauren, and back to me. Then to Lauren. Me again. Then to her. _Talk about annoying._

"Come with me, Miss Swan. Miss Stanley, please take Miss Mallory to the nurse. She looks like she could use some attending to." he ordered calmly, blatantly watching me the entire time. I lifted my chin and marched towards the front office, while Mr. Green followed behind me. I passed a bunch of gaping students, and listened to a lot of whispers. I just gave all of the kids a smug, cocky grin- occasionally I would throw out a smirk at some of the more humorous expressions of pure shock.

I walked right into Mr. Green's office like I owned the place, plopped myself in the seat in front of the desk, and waited for him to settle in his own chair. I sat with my back straight and my head held high, my arms folded across my chest. _I will not be ashamed of any of this_, I promised myself.

While he did whatever it was principals do before dishing out suspensions, I realized what I had just done.

I punched Lauren Mallory. Twice.

And I feel _great._

**(A/N): Oooooh, sassy indeed. And if this wasn't enough of a shock for you, you just wait until next chapter dear readers. Oh yea, I did just say that. Muahaha.**

**Another thing. I know that Jacob was being very confusing and distant and such- so I'm going to re-write this chapter in his POV, but only upon request. I say this because I don't want to waste time writing this chapter again in his POV if everyone would just like me to get on with the story. If you do or don't want me to re-write the chapter, PM me, or you can just write it in a review. Also realize this- if I don't end up re-writing the chapter in his POV, nothing will be missed- I'll still explain his actions and everything. Just something to think about.**

**I think that's about it- Oh wait! I forgot to tell you to review. So… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Let me know about my next chapter, AND about this new chapter. You know how I love to hear what you have to say.  
****See you soon!**

**~ECG000**


	9. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

**Hey all! Just dropping by to say a few important things.**

**If you read my last A/N, you would know that I asked for your feedback on Chapter Eight and what I should post next. Now, I know that it's a pain to review when it's so much easier to just favorite me as an author or favorite the story itself, but I seriously need commentary on this. If no one voices an opinion, I cant post **_**anything.**_** That means that there will be no new chapters until I get someone's advice. I am posting this Author's Note to ask that you review or PM me and tell me what you want, because until someone does, I have no idea what to write. Please take this seriously, this is more than a want for reviews.  
****So, long story short, until I get some reviews or PM's, there will not be another chapter posted.**

**Until next chapter,  
****ECG000**


	10. Chapter Eight JPOV

_Hinder_

_Lips Of An Angel_

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight  
And yes I've dreamt of you too  
Does he know you're talking to me?  
Will it start a fight?  
No I don't think she has a clue_

_Well, my girls in the next room  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
__It sounds so sweet  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words  
__It makes me weak._

_And I never wanna say goodbye  
__But girl you make it hard to be faithful  
__With the lips of an angel._

**JPOV**

"Come on, Bells. Just listen to the song." I said, turning the knob on the stereo again and bobbing my head to the latest Eminem release. We were on the beach, listening to my portable stereo that I had brought along in an attempt to introduce Bella to a small amount of pop culture. For Christ's sake, she didn't even know who _Eminem_ was. And I wouldn't stand for that.

"Blech, what is this crap anyways?" she scrunched her nose, reached over and turned the knob back down after I had pulled my hand away.

"Crap? _Crap?"_ I arched an eyebrow. "I wont yell. I wont yell. I wont yell…"

Bella just laughed at me and shrugged, scooting closer and laying her head on my shoulder.

"Music just isn't my thing. Kinda like how you don't enjoy talking about tampons?" she giggled, and smirked at me.

"You had to bring up the T-word, didn't you?" I grimaced, and planted a kiss on her temple. She laughed some more, and turned her face so that she could look at me. "Besides. Don't compare Eminem to… those things. The two words shouldn't even be used in the same conversation." I added. She rolled her eyes playfully, and stretched her neck up to kiss me. My arms wound around her exposed waist- she was wearing that damn bikini again- as I pulled her onto my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself closer to me, her hair tickling my bare chest as it fell forward.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

The stereo was suddenly blaring an annoying telephone ringtone. I tried to ignore it, but damn, that shit was obnoxious. I pulled away from Bella's lips and reached over to turn down the volume. But as I turned the knob towards 'mute', it got even louder.

"Stupid thing," I muttered, and jabbed at the power button. It still wouldn't stop. Louder and louder the ringing got, until I couldn't even hear the crashing of the waves surrounding us. "What the hell?" I exclaimed- it was so loud that I couldn't even hear my own voice in my ears. I looked at Bella, but she was just staring at me with her eyebrows all scrunched up.

"What?" she asked. I couldn't actually hear her, I had to read her lips.

"The stereo!" I yelled, trying to make myself heard over the incessant ringing. "You don't hear that?"

"Hear what, Jacob?"

My eyes flew open and I sat up in bed, relieved for about five seconds that I was free from the irritating noise of my dream, when I realized that it was _still there_. The ringing was still in my ears, filling my bedroom with its shrill shriek. My eyes searched the dark room, and I suddenly knew where the sound was coming from, and why it sounded so familiar.

Bella's cell phone.

"Goddamnit, that was a good dream." I grumbled to myself sleepily, rolling out of bed and feeling around for the phone. I found it on a pile of clothes in the corner and searched for the 'ignore' button, but I couldn't see it in the dark. So I just hit the 'end' button, hoping that would work. The ringer was silenced, and the room was quiet again.

I laid back down in bed, closing my eyes and letting myself drift off.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

I jumped, startled by the sudden noise. Groaning, I reached over and hit the end button again, without checking who was calling. But before I could even roll back over onto my side, it was ringing again.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

"OH MY GOD, this had better be the most important call of this person's life!" I exclaimed, ignoring the fact that I was, indeed, talking to myself, and reaching for the phone again. I finally checked the Caller ID- it read 'Home'. "Hullo?" I answered, running a hand down my face.

"Who is this?" answered a male voice. "Is this Bella's phone?"

"Yes, its Bella's phone. This is Jacob. And may I ask who's calling?"

"Phil. Phil Dwyer. Bella's stepfath- Renee's husband." he quickly corrected himself, and I didn't read too much into it. Not my business. "I need to speak to Bella, immediately. So, if you could just hand her the phone-"

"I'm not with Bella." I interrupted. "She must have left her phone at my house. I'll bring it to her in the morning, and I'll make sure she calls right away-"

"No. I have to speak with her now." he interrupted my interruption.

"Okay, well, I'm not with Bella right now. And I'm not very fond of driving around at-" I glanced at my alarm clock, "two forty-five in the morning. But I promise, I'll bring it to her first thing, if you could just wait a couple of hours."

"You don't understand. This is important." the way he said it, the tone of his voice, made me believe him. And so, I got out of bed again and slipped on some tennis shoes, and threw on a white T-shirt. Only when I was reaching for my keys and telling Phil goodbye that it dawned on me-

"Is Bella in some sort of trouble?" I blurted, before he could hang up.

"Is- what? No. Of course not. It… it's-" and then his voice broke, and I could hear the tears choking him as he spoke one final time. "Please. Quickly, Jacob. It's Renee." The line went dead. Dial tone rang in my ear as I stood there, frozen, the meaning behind his words sinking in slowly.

_Renee._

And then, I knew. I knew what Phil meant, and why he acted the way he did and all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach. I felt sick, and I felt this overwhelming need to just run away and hide. Or better yet, run away with Bella and protect her from this burden. Because I knew what it felt like to be on the opposite side of that particular table and to have everything taken away from you. A mother taken away from you. And Bella's not ready for this kind of news, she hasn't even fully recovered from that douche who used and dumped her. And for me to be the bearer of this news? She'll hate me forever…

I glanced from the phone in my hand to the keys on my dresser, thinking of how much I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to do this to her.

I took a steeling breath and grabbed the keys to the bike, ignoring the fact that it was pouring rain. Once I was outside, I jogged to my bike and pulled off the cover quickly, throwing my leg over and inserting the key into the ignition. I didn't even bother folding up the tarp I used as a cover, I just turned the key and tore out of my driveway, racing down the slick streets as fast as I safely could.

The ride to Forks was a blur; wet and dark and cold, and filled with thoughts of sleeping, peaceful Bella. I thought about that cute little mumble thing she did when she slept, how I could hear her utter my name now and again, along with other words. Come to think of it, _Renee_ escaped her lips almost as often as my name did.

Yeah. That didn't help my situation at all.

Sooner than I expected, I was idling in front of the dark house. Charlie's cruiser was missing, so he must have been at work or fishing. I sat on my bike for a moment, ignoring the icy splatters of rain hitting my face and arms- yes, I was stalling.

"Stop being a coward." I muttered to myself after another minute, and shut off the bike. I walked up to the door slowly, taking each step with care. Once I reached the door, it was another full two minutes before I could actually bring myself to raise my fist and knock once, twice, and a third time.

I wasn't surprised when I didn't get a response immediately; after all, it was three in the morning. So I knocked again, harder, with more urgency. I kept that up for at least five minutes, before I started using calling out.

"Bella! It's Jake!" I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth to amplify my voice. I banged the side of my fist against the door- still nothing.

"Bella! Bella, open up!" I continued on with my pounding.

Suddenly the door swung open, and Bella was standing before me in a holey tank top and baggy sweats, her hair piled on top of her head, rubbing at her eyes. Before she could say a word, I threw myself at her and wrapped my arms around her warm waist, apologizing for everything I was about to do with my embrace. She was unmoving, probably too surprised and tired to fully comprehend what was going on.

"Jake, what the hell are you doing here? And why are you all wet?" she mumbled into my chest, her voice thick with sleep. I released her so that she could talk clearly, but I didn't answer her question- I took her face between by wet, cold hands and kissed her lips with as much feeling and passion I could muster.

She pulled her face away from mine and glared at me for not answering her question.

"It's raining, and I was out there for a good fifteen minutes before you answered the door." I mumbled, looking away. Lightning flashed, illuminating the dark kitchen briefly. It was followed by a deafening crack of thunder that rattled the floorboards and caused Bella to flinch in surprise.

"Oh. Sorry." she apologized quietly, then seemed to realize that I hadn't fully answered her inquires. "That still doesn't explain what you're doing here at three in the morning." she finished, arching a brow.

"You- you left your phone at my place." I said slowly, pulling her phone out of my pocket and pressing it into her outstretched palm. She turned and set it down at the dining room table, and sat down in a chair. I figured that it was best she was sitting down anyways.

"And you couldn't have waited to give it to me, oh, I don't know, when I was awake?" she retorted. I turned away from her gaze and bit my lip, thinking about how I was going to phrase this. _Oh, yeah, by the way- your step-dad called. Said he wanted me to tell you your mother died or something. Hey, what's for breakfast?_

I took another deep breath and opened my mouth, preparing to give everything to her nice and slowly, when a rush of word-vomit tumbled from my lips.

"It kept ringing and beeping, and I was trying to sleep, and I didn't know how to turn off the ringer, so I answered it. It- it was Phil, and he-"

"Phil?" she interrupted, her brows pulling together while her lips pursed. "Phil Dwyer?"

"Yes, your mother's husband. He was there, and he sounded really upset, and he said that he needed to talk to you immediately. I told him that I would bring you your phone in the morning, and he started yelling at me, saying that it was an emergency. So I- I asked him what the problem was, if you were in trouble or anything,. He- he said- I just-" I was a babbling fool, tripping over my words like a drunk toddler, and I couldn't seem to stop myself. The words just kept pouring out of my mouth, until I found that I couldn't actually _say the words._ I buried my face in my hands to hide from her, to try to collect myself for a moment. When I felt like I could open my mouth without spilling out my dad's bank card number, I lifted my head.

"You need to call him, Bella. Right now." I said firmly, pressing her phone into her palm and avoiding her stare.

"Now? But why, what did he say?" her voice was a few octaves higher than normal from anxiety. But I just shook my head.

"Right now. Call him." I said, and turned away. I began chewing on the inside of my cheek as she dialed, tapping my foot anxiously.

He must have answered, because the next words out of her mouth were, "Phil? What's going on?"

Without realizing it, I had bitten hard enough on my cheek to draw blood. A coppery taste flooded my mouth, and I switched to the other cheek. I tried not to listen to what she was saying, but a few phrases slipped in here and there.

"Something happened?" she demanded, standing up from her chair. I glanced up at her as she held the phone to her ear and began pacing the kitchen. I looked away again, overwhelmed with guilt and apology and just… sadness. Sadness for Bella, who lost her mother. For Phil, who lost his wife. For Charlie, who lost the mother of his child, his first love, his once-upon-a-time happily-ever-after. For all of Renee's friends, who probably don't know about any of this right now, who probably had plans with her next weekend or tomorrow or Friday night.

"Phil, where is she? Where's Mom?"

Bella's broken whisper called my attention through my reverie, and I looked up just in time to see her knees begin to buckle, the phone begin to slip from her hand. I shot up from my chair and made it over to her before she could actually hit the floor, catching her under the arms as her phone shattered on the linoleum.

In one swift motion I had her cradled in my arms so that I could carry her to the couch. Halfway to the living room she started screaming.

I knew she had fainted because the shrieks she had been emitting suddenly ceased, and she became limp in my arms. I lad her gently on the couch and covered her in a blanket, and then I sat down beside her. I propped my elbows on my knees and laid my head in my palms. After a minute Bella stirred, and I lifted my head and looked over at her, but her eyes didn't open. She was still out.

As I stared at her lifeless form, I slowly began preparing myself for what was to come when she opened her eyes again. I began preparing for her to say goodbye to me.

I stood after a few moments and walked over to the house phone, dialing Charlie and filled him in on everything except Renee's death. That was something that needed to be said in person- I would tell him when he got home, I decided.

My movements were sort of robotic, empty, lifeless. The reason behind it wasn't hard to figure out- without Bella, I was nothing. And soon, she would be gone. I glanced over at her sleeping figure, taking everything in: her smooth, pale skin unbroken by blemishes or wrinkles. Her hair, thick and dark and long, falling across the couch cushion and hiding half of her face from immediate view. Her hands, small and fragile, that fit perfectly in mine. Her lips, set into a small pout, that were so soft and warm…

The sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling up the drive brought me back to reality. Too soon, he was opening the door and in the living room, looking at me for an explanation as to why his daughter was passed out, why her phone was shattered on the kitchen floor, why I was here so early in the first place.

"You should call a doctor, Charlie. I'll explain everything afterwards, I promise." While he went into the kitchen and dialed the hospital, I took a seat at the kitchen table. When he was done on the phone, he sat down across from me.

Slowly, gently, I began to explain what had happened. About the phone call, the first one at my house. About the phone call that took place here, at the table we were sitting at. I told him that Bella had most likely blacked out from the shock.

When I was done, Charlie just stared at the pieces of Bella's phone on the ground in silence. He didn't even blink for what seemed like five minutes.

"Charlie?" I spoke finally.

Before he could answer, there was a timid knock on the front door. When Charlie didn't seem to notice, or care, I stood up and answered it. It was Dr. Gerandy, and he immediately went to work on Bella. He began firing off questions faster than I could process them, but I did the best that I could.

"How is she?" Charlie was suddenly standing behind us in the living room, gazing at his daughter with worried eyes.

"She's going to be fine," the doctor replied gently, tucking his stethoscope away into his suit and putting his thermometer back into his little briefcase.

"She's so still…" Charlie whispered, kneeling down beside Bella's head.

"It's got to be the shock of everything, Chief." Dr. Gerandy reassured him, confirming my earlier thoughts. Charlie just shook his head and smoothed Bella's hair off of her forehead.

"What do I do if she doesn't wake up?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"She will. Just let her sleep it off. She'll come to terms with reality when she's ready to." the doctor answered, patting Charlie on the shoulder and making his way to the door. "She's going to be fine. Have a good day, Chief. You too, Jacob." he nodded at the both of us in a goodbye gesture, and let himself out.

I reached down and lifted Bella into my arms, cradling her limp body in my arms gently. I held her close and allowed myself to be enveloped in her scent.

"You want her in her bed, Charlie?" I asked, though I was already heading towards the stairs.

"Sure, Jacob. Sure." he answered dazedly, sitting down in his chair.

I carried her up the stairs and into her room, tucking the covers around her body tightly. Then, I pulled her computer chair over to the side of her bed and sat down. I laid my head back, closed my eyes, and was asleep within seconds.

"Any change?" Charlie asked from the doorway. My eyes shot open and I sat up, glancing around the room in confusion.

"Um… no." I answered groggily, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. "How long was I out?" I mumbled, a bit sheepishly.

"Just three hours." he said quietly, moving to sit on the edge of Bella's bed. "You know, Jake, you can go home if you want. Shower, get some sleep- I can see you're exhausted. I'm sure there wont be any changes any time soon."

A part of me wanted to go. Not because I wanted to shower, even though I knew I should probably take one within the next few hours, and not because I was desperate for sleep- even though I was. I wanted to go, because I figured it would be better. For Bella. If she woke up and I was already out of her life, things would be much easier.

But the part that loved Bella and cared and worried for her told that other part to shut the hell up, so I decided to stay.

"Well, the couch and shower is always open for you, Jacob." Charlie assured me, and stood up.

"You keep offering me showers, Charlie- do I really smell that bad?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood. That got him to smile, and he clapped me on the shoulder.

"Just a bit." he said, and walked out of the room.

Two. Damn. Days.

Two long, sleepless, uncomfortable, sitting-in-the-same-position-for-hours-on-end days. And still, not a single change from Bella. Occasionally she would stir, mumble something in her sleep- usually it was "Renee," or "Mom." But other than those rare occurrences, you wouldn't know the difference between her and a dead body. (Was that a bit too morbid? Hmm.)

Charlie was on the phone a lot, arranging the funeral or buying plane tickets or ordering take-out. I haven't left this house yet, and have only moved from my position beside Bella's bed when I had to eat, or go to the bathroom.

When Charlie wasn't on the phone or sleeping, he was checking in with me every twenty minutes. It was always the same thing.

"Any change?" To which I would reply, "Not yet." And then, "Are you hungry? Need a break?" I would always decline the latter, though he insisted on bringing me food in here on a regular schedule. I think he understood, better than anyone, why I wouldn't leave her side, so he didn't bother me much.

I heard boots trudging up the stairs and looked at Bella's alarm clock- he was seven minutes behind his usual twenty-minute mark.

"Any change?" Charlie asked, sticking his head in the door.

"She's talking more," I told him, trying to stretch details. I could always hear the hope in his voice when he asked that question, and was probably getting sick of "Not yet."

"That's a good thing," he said, more to himself than to me. I nodded in agreement, though.

"When is the funeral?" I asked, wondering what was going to happen if Bella didn't wake up in time for the ceremony.

"Three days." he answered, his tone going flat. "It's going to be in Phoenix. Phil thought… thought she would like that." his voice broke at the end of his sentence.

I reached forward and stroked Bella's hair, ran the back of my fingers across her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Charlie." I whispered. I continued to caress her cheeks, passed my fingertips over violet eyelids and around pale lips.

"I think… that you should come with us, Jacob. To the funeral." Charlie spoke gruffly, trying to hide tears.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to, you know, make any one uncomfortable. It isn't really my grief to share." I didn't want to impose, and I never actually knew Renée.

"Of course I'm sure." Charlie answered immediately. "If Bella pulls through this… sleep, that she's in, in time for the funeral, she's going to need someone there. Someone besides me."

I didn't mention that Bella probably wouldn't want me there in the first place.

Suddenly my eyes felt very heavy, and I wanted so badly to curl up under the blankets with Bella and sleep until the next century. I bent my head and pinched the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes shut and then blinking rapidly. I let my eyes close, slowly, and I was just on the brink of sleep when Bella moved again. My head snapped up, eyes flying open as they met a pair of sleepy, brown ones. I gave a small gasp, and then wrapped her in my arms and held on, as tightly as I possibly could.

"Charlie, Charlie! She's awake." I almost yelled, I was so relieved. Bella was still in my arms, unresponsive, but I figured she wasn't fully awake yet. Charlie was at my side as soon as the words had left my mouth, waiting for his turn to embrace his daughter. I released her slightly, so that her face was no longer buried in my neck.

She opened her mouth to speak, and my heart skipped a beat- I was terrified of what her next words were going to be.

"Hey, Dad." she rasped, her voice grating. I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding and let Charlie wrap her up in a hug.

Charlie spoke with Bella for a few more minutes, but I wasn't really focusing on what they were saying. I avoided eye contact with her, paying more attention to her comforter than what she was actually saying.

"Jake?" she whispered, which caught my attention. I glanced up at her face, not completely looking her in the eye. She seemed to notice, too, because she snapped, "I'm up here."

I internally put up an emotional shield and prepared myself for her next words.

"How long was I out?" she croaked. I felt like I was dodging bullets every time she opened her mouth.

"Two days." I answered, clipping my words and trying not to show emotion. The more feelings I showed, the more I attempted to make her want me, the more it would hurt if she made me leave.

"What is the matter with you?" she blurted, looking at me with a confused expression. That little crease formed between her brows as she scrutinized me as her eyes narrowed.

_Nothing, Bella. I'm only anticipating your wrath for ruining your life. Sorry, I'm a little uncomfortable making eye contact._

But I didn't say that. Instead, I played ignorant.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why wont you fucking _look_ at me?" she lashed out. I flinched at the tone in her voice, at the language she was using- she was pissed, that much was obvious.

"I'm looking at you." I said flatly. She huffed and turned over onto her back. I was considering leaving, cutting out the middleman, but she spoke again.

"Jake?" she asked again in a whisper. "Lay with me?"

What the hell?

I looked up at Bella again and saw that her eyes were brimming with tears, and without another thought I crawled onto the bed with her. Hell if I wasn't a sucker for Crying Bella- Crying Bella could get anything out of me, any time, any day.

I laid an arm over her waist and pulled her body closer to mine, pressing my nose into her hair and taking in her scent- vanilla and lavender and warmth and just… Bella.

She took my hand and played with my fingers, but other than that, she was perfectly still. No words of anger, no resentment. Nothing. I was shocked- surely, if she was upset with me, she would have mentioned it by now.

She took my hand and began playing with my fingers absentmindedly.

"You aren't mad at me?" I blurted in a whisper. Bella jumped a little in my arms. "Sorry," I apologized for startling her.

"Why would I be mad at you, Jacob?" she replied, confused. My heart leapt in my chest, and I had to take a few deep breaths so I could speak without sounding like a giddy school girl. In the silence, Bella turned around in my arms and faced me. I gazed at her for a moment, and she reached out and stroked my cheek gently with her fingers. I caught her wrist and held her hand there, enjoying the feeling.

"So is that a no?" I asked finally, arching an eyebrow.

"There's no reason for me to be angry with you," she said earnestly.

"Okay." I smiled slightly, relief flooding through my system. I took her chin in my hand and stroked her warm, pale pink lips with my thumb before I leaned forward and kissed them gently. I held my mouth to hers for a beat longer than necessary.

When I pulled away and looked into her wide, sad brown eyes, I was reminded of what Charlie asked me. I figured, since she wasn't mad at me after all, that I might as well go with her to the funeral. But… I should ask permission, right? I mean, it's _her_ mother. She should decide who gets to go, right? Right?

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling, my eyebrows pulling together. Bella scooted up against me and laid her head against m chest, sighing contentedly.

"What are you thinking about?" she croaked, her voice rough from not being used for so long.

"Charlie wants me to go to the funeral with you." I said, figuring honesty was best.

"So come with me." she answered immediately, and she seemed to mean it. I did notice the slight tremor in her voice, and I also noticed that she was trying to hide it from me. I knew how she felt- when my mother died, I had wanted to be brave and strong in front of everyone, but it was hard to put up that front when the most important person in your life was suddenly… gone.

"But I've never met your mother." I whispered, wrapping my arm around her and playing with her hair, subtly trying to comfort her.

"I want you there." she whispered back, peeking up at me through her lashes. "And plus… it- it would mean a lot to her if you came. That you cared enough to show up, even if it was just for me."

When she put it that way, I realized that I couldn't _not_ go. I had seen what her mother's death had done to her- hell, it put her in a semi-coma for forty-eight hours. I needed to be her shoulder, to be her comfort food, her crutch. I knew, more than anybody, how important it was to have someone there for you when you were in this type of situation. And suddenly, I felt pretty selfish for not wanting to feel uncomfortable when Bella needed me there.

I glanced at the clock on her nightstand and realized that it was getting late. I should probably get home to Billy- he was probably going to be wondering where I was; I'd told him I would be home by today. I sat up and gave Bella a gentle kiss on the forehead before pushing myself off of the mattress and putting my shoes on. I grabbed my keys and then knelt down next to her, pushing stray hairs of f of her forehead.

"Okay." I said again, smiling.

"Okay… what?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, I'll go with you to Phoenix. To the ceremony." I clarified.

"Thanks, Jake. It means a lot to me." she replied, offering me a tiny smile that didn't touch her eyes.

"I know." I whispered.

I leaned forward and gave her one final kiss on the forehead.

"Bye, Bells. I'll come back tomorrow, okay?" I promised, standing up. She frowned but nodded, and I wished I could stay, but I had to get home. Plus, Billy would throw a fit if I missed another day of school.

I waved at Bella and walked out of the room without another word.

Downstairs, Charlie was on the phone- no huge shocker there. I gave him a small wave and a comforting smile, then held my keys in the air to let him know I was leaving. He nodded his head and smiled back at me, letting me know he understood without interrupting his phone call.

I pushed the door out of my way and stepped out into the fresh air- it felt good to be out of that room, even though my heart ached to be with Bella.

_She'll be alright._ I promised myself. _Just one day alone- she'll be okay. And then tomorrow, I'll be with her again. Everything will be fine._

**(A/N): I'm back! The long awaited Chapter Eight has been posted! Please, hold your applause! Oh, you're too much. Stop it.  
****But, in all seriousness, I would like to apologize for how long this chapter has taken... its just been very busy. But fret not, I will get on with Chapter Nine very soon. Promise.  
****One more thing.  
****I would like to thank my amazing Beta/Best Friend/Soul Sister for all her help on this chapter. Without her… well, there probably still wouldn't be another entry.  
****As you all know, it wouldn't be a true ECG000 Author's Note without me saying "Review" so… Review/Favorite, whatever you must. Just show me some love!  
****Stay beautiful.**

**~ECG000**


	11. Chapter Nine

_It's funny that you're calling me tonight,  
__And yes I've dreamed of you too.  
__Does he know you're talking to me?  
__Will it start a fight?  
__No, I don't think she has a clue._

_Well, my girls in the next room.  
__Sometimes I wish she was you.  
__I guess we never really moved on._

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name,  
__It sounds so sweet.  
__Coming from the lips of an angel,  
__Hearing those words, it makes me weak._

_And I never want to say goodbye,  
__But girl, you make it hard to be faithful  
__With the lips of an angel._

**JPOV**

A light rap on my door woke me from my fitful dreaming. At first I ignored it, thinking it was housekeeping, until I realized that the maids generally don't do their cleaning at midnight.

I rolled out of bed-literally, I rolled over and landed on the floor with a huge bang; I bet the people downstairs really appreciated that one- and crossed the dark room clumsily. I fumbled to open the door, the knob slipping from my grasp several times before I could finally pull it open. I squinted against the light, even though the hall was only dimly lit.

She was standing there, in pajamas with little sheep all over them, holding a blanket around her shoulders with one hand. The other hand held a teddy bear; I think it was missing an eye, and a little bit of fluff was sticking out of it's leg. On her feet, I kid you not, were huge, fluffy bunny slippers; each bunny had its own little batman mask. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were blood shot and puffy, and her nose was slightly red. She looked like a five year old... But she was still so. Fucking. Adorable.

"Bella?" I said groggily, rubbing my eyes and blinking against the bright light of the hallway.

"Sorry for waking you." I could barely hear her.

"No, it's, um. It's okay. What's the matter?" I cleared my throat, and opened the door wider, inviting her to come inside. She hitched up her blanket and walked into the room, shuffling her little bunny slippers. My mind lingered on the fact that she was wearing an anklet that I had never seen before. And, where did the sheep pj's come from? All I'd ever seen her wear to bed were holy sweats and t-shirts. _Hmm._

I shut the door behind her, and she sat on my bed.

"I just... I _couldn't_ be alone. Not tonight. I'm sorry." she explained, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself.

"Oh, Bells..." I said as I sat next to her.

She began crying into her knees- not loud, nothing dramatic. Just a quiet, almost inaudible sob. I put an arm around her and pulled her to my side; she buried her face into my shoulder, her hot tears sliding down my skin.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" she whispered into my neck, nuzzling her face into the crook of my shoulder.

Was it insensitive that my mind jumped right into the gutter when she said that?

"Of course, honey." I said, and pushed back the blankets. I cradled her in my arms and eased her into the bed.

I sat on the edge of the bed with my elbows propped on my knees, my chin in my hands, and glanced around the small hotel room. Bella, Charlie and I had arrived in Phoenix earlier that day, and the funeral was tomorrow- or was it today? I looked over at the digital clock on my nightstand and saw that it was almost three. So just a few more hours.

"Lay with me?" she whispered, breaking the silence, and I briefly flashed back to her bedroom three days ago, when we were still in Forks. Her tone and volume were exactly the same, as were her words. I wondered whether she had done that on purpose.

Wordlessly I slid into the bed, pulling her warm little body against mine. She tucked her chin down, her forehead pressing into my chest. I began stroking her hair, curling it around my fingers. She sighed and sank down into the bed some more.

"That feels great, Jake." her voice was muffled. I rested my chin on top of her head and continued stroking. After a few moments she lifted her head.

"Distract me." she whispered. Her wet lashes glistened in the small amount of light coming through the window- in Phoenix, the moon was actually visible at night, a phenomenon I wasn't accustomed to.

"How?" I whispered back, my fingers pausing. She shifted her gaze downward for a moment, then looked back at me.

"Kiss me."

I didn't need to be told twice.

I kept my hands at the back of her neck, tilted her head up, and brought my lips to hers.

**BPOV**

I put a hand on his cheek, marveling at the smoothness of his skin beneath my fingers. I pressed against his warmth- I had ached for that closeness, for the feel of another heartbeat besides my own, for a while now. For whatever reason, I had felt terribly lonely ever since arriving in Phoenix, more so than usual.

One hand moved from my hair to my hip, while his other hand made its way down, slowly, from the back of my neck. He paused at the scar on my upper arm- the one acquired from my dreadful eighteenth birthday. His lips- so eager before- paused. I knew what was coming. He would ask where the scar came from, a seemingly harmless inquiry, and I would dodge the question, but it's sting would linger, and I would be left feeling like shit again.

No.

I came in here for comfort, and distraction. Not to be reminded of another person who I had lost.

I pressed my lips to his with a fierceness I knew he wouldn't be expecting, hoping that it would cause him to forget about my stupid scars. It worked- his hand continued its way down my body, stopping at my waist.

I pulled away, only because I needed air, and his lips moved to my jaw. His breath was hot and fast against my skin, and I shivered.

I pulled his lips back to mine, then gripped his shoulders and pulled myself on top of him.

"Bella..." he murmured against my mouth.

"What?" I whispered innocently, running my hands along the planes of his slightly sweaty chest. I was covered in a thin layer of perspiration, too- something I had never experienced before. I had always been ridiculously cold when kissing-

Goddammit, Bella. _Stop thinking about him_.

He pulled away from my kiss. "I don't think _now_ is the best time to get all... hot and heavy."

I don't think it bothered _him_ to say that, but _I_ blushed deeply at the words.

"Why?" I detected a small whine in my voice.

"Well... you aren't exactly in your right mind. I would feel guilty. I _do_ feel guilty."

I put a hand on either side of his face and pushed myself up so that I was staring down at him.

"Not in my right mind? _Guilty?_" I repeated incredulously.

"You're mad. I knew you'd be mad." He ran a hand down his face. "I don't mean it like that. I just mean... you're looking for a distraction. You'd do anything right now to take your mind off of... things. And if I let this go on, I'd feel like I was taking advantage of that."

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously?" I huffed. He chuckled and lifted his head to kiss me, but it wasn't with the same passion as before. I found myself pouting against his lips. "Your responsibleness is very inconvenient."

"That's not a word." he laughed quietly. I glared at him for changing the subject. "Trust me. You're _all I want_ right now." he insisted, feeling my pout. I eased myself down, and gave him another lingering kiss. I could feel that he was telling the truth- that he didn't _really_ want to stop.

Groaning, I rolled off of him, onto my side. I cuddled into his warmth, still desperate for that proximity. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, snuggling his face into my hair. I hid my face in his chest.

His one hand continued to stroke my hair, while the other rubbed along the length of my arm back and forth soothingly. He didn't stop until I was fast asleep.

A touch of blush, to hide the ugly gray color my cheeks were turning. (Something that usually happened when I was about to throw up.)

A sweep of mascara, to offset my bloodshot eyes.

A hint of perfume at the base of my neck and behind my ears, to mask the scent of death I was about to be immersed in.

A black ribbon to tie back my heavy hair.

A pretty black dress slipped over my head, falling just past my shaking knees.

A pair of satin black kitten heels that show my baby pink toenails, painted the day before.

A delicate white gold chain clasped around my ankle, serving as not only a piece of jewelry but a piece of Renee. It had belonged to her, but she'd passed it on to me when I was eleven.

A deep breath taken before opening the door and taking the first step towards my mother's funeral.

"I cant do this." I whispered as Jake, Charlie and I slid into the first row of pews. I refused to look at the mahogany casket in the front of the room, surrounded by flowers and pictures.

"You can." Jake whispered back, giving my trembling hand a squeeze. I shook my head as we sat down and put my head in my hands, my elbows on my knees.

"Bella. Look at me." Jacob gently removed my hands from my face and grasped my chin. I looked up, into his eyes. "You can do this."

I nodded and tried my best to give him a smile. My whole body was shaking like a leaf, my breathing uneven and shallow. There was a sick roar in my ears, and though I could see Charlie's mouth moving, I had no clue as to what he was saying. I nodded again, and hoped he wasn't asking a question. Jake's arm went around my shoulders, and Charlie's hand grasped mine tightly.

Closing my eyes, I tried to slow my erratic breathing. _In through the nose, out through the mouth. _Or is it the other way around? _In through the mouth, out through to nose. _

"I'm sorry," I gasped as I shook them off, rising and racing out of the church before heaving my breakfast into the bushes. I retched until there was nothing left, and then sank to the gravel. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and leaned against the church wall, closing my eyes.

"Here, honey. These will make you feel better." I opened my eyes to find a woman crouching in front of me, a bottle of water in one hand and a container of pills in the other. She must have seen the questioning look I gave her, because she explained, "They'll help your stomach."

I looked at the woman more closely. A heart shaped face framed by thick brown hair. Kind, motherly green eyes. I guessed she was late thirties, early forties. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something familiar about her off-center smile.

"I know you," I blurted, "don't I?"

Her smile widened. "I didn't think you'd remember me. I met you only once or twice, when you were barely three. My name is Katherine." She moved to sit beside me, placing the water and pills in my hands.

Deciding to trust that she wasn't poisoning me, I shook two tiny pink tablets into my hand and swallowed them with a swig of water.

"You were a friend of my mom's, right?" I asked after taking another sip from the bottle.

"That's right. Back in high school we were very close. After she moved to Forks we lost touch, but when she came back home we saw each other a few times."

I nodded. I had a sort of hazy memory of her coming to the house, sipping wine and laughing with my mom in the dining room while I colored at the kitchen table. She was younger in my mind's eye, and very pretty.

"Thanks," I said, "For the medicine."

"No problem. I have three kids; I'm prepared. If you need a band-aid, aspirin, a diaper, number two pencil, or a tissue, I've got you covered." she smiled. I laughed quietly, and then my smile fell.

"Your children are lucky to have you." I murmured, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from bursting into tears.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Bella." she said gently, patting my hand affectionately.

I nodded, afraid to open my mouth.

The church doors opened and Jacob came rushing out. His eyes scanned the parking lot before he found me, crouched beside the dead azaleas.

"Hey," he said gently, and came to sit beside me.

"Hi." He put an arm around my shoulders comfortingly and I leaned against his side.

"I think I'm going to go watch the service. It was nice seeing you again, Bella. You've grown up to be a beautiful young lady," Katherine said, rising.

"Thank you. It was good seeing you, too." I gave her the best smile I could muster. She patted my cheek and went into the church.

"Who was that?" Jake asked when the doors were shut.

"One of my mom's friends from high school. Her name is Katherine. We met when I was young. She saw me sitting here and gave me some medicine." I realized I was rambling and pressed my lips together.

"Medicine?"

"...I threw up."

"So that's what the delightful smell is."

I grinned wryly.

"I've been dying to see you smile," he said softly. "For days."

"Not much to smile about, Jake." I replied. My eyes welled up with tears. Hastily I wiped them away, but not before he noticed.

"We should, um, go inside." I muttered, sniffling.

"It's okay to cry, Bella."

"No, it's not." I shook my head. He opened his mouth to object but I cut him off. "It's not, Jacob! It's stupid and silly and unnecessary and... and... well, I cant think of any more adjectives! But... you get the idea! It's not okay!" … Whoa. Where did that even come from? There was a slightly hurt look in his eyes. Not to mention, I was crying even harder now. Shit.

"People cry all the time," he reminded me gently.

"Yeah, well... they're stupid!" I realized I was shouting again and fought to control my volume. "I'm sorry, Jacob," I said after a deep breath.

"It's okay."

"I shouldn't have screamed at you." I reached up to wipe my cheeks, but his hands beat mine.

"Probably not," he said, grinning. "It's fine, Bells."

Leaning my head against his shoulder, I closed my eyes. "I don't really want to go back inside," I whispered.

"You don't have to," he said, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I nodded and interlaced my fingers with his.

We sat in silence for the rest of the service, until the doors opened and people began pouring out of the church. Charlie reached us first.

"Let's go home, kids."

"_What?_" I screeched, slamming my fists down on the kitchen table and rising out of my chair simultaneously. It slid across the hardwood floor with a terrible noise and I knew there would be scuff marks for me to clean later.

"Bella, please don't be difficult about this. If there was any way I could make this happen I would. But there is just no way you can transfer schools." Charlie ran a hand down his face tiredly.

"What about the reservation? Did you try them?" I demanded.

"You have to live _on_ the reservation to go to that school, Bells. You know that."

"And you tried the Lutheran school?"

"Yes." he said, sounding like he was having a difficult time keeping his patience. "They don't accept students in the middle of the year, or students who have never been to a Lutheran school before. Are you even Lutheran?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm converting," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest. "Who are they to deny me my religious _needs_?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. Truly, I am. I don't like seeing you unhappy. But this is your education, and it's your only option. Looks like you're a spartan for the next year, baby." He stood and kissed my hair, then made his way into the living room. I stood, unmoving, willing myself not to cry.

"Don't be a crybaby." I whispered to myself, turned on a heel, and walked upstairs into my room.

Once my door was shut and locked, I flopped down onto my bed face first. I dug around in my pocket from my cell phone, hit 1 on my speed dial, and pressed it to my ear.

"Beautiful," he said in greeting.

"Jake," I moaned miserably, flipping onto my back so I could speak clearly.

"Something wrong?"

"Charlie's making me go to school." I muttered, pouting. Jacob laughed quietly.

"And that's surprising?" I could practically hear his smile. Cute little jerk.

"He's making me go to Forks High School. I cant transfer."

The meaning sunk in. "Oh. I'm sorry, Bells." I sighed.

"Yeah. Me, too."

"Hey," he said, his voice brightening. "Have you asked about homeschooling?"

"Har har." I rolled my eyes. "Well, actually... Hang on." I pointed the phone away from my mouth so I could yell, "DAD!" without screaming in Jacob's ear.

"Yeah?" he called from the living room, not bothering to move.

"Will you home school me... Mr. Swan?"

"You're going to school, Bella!"

I brought the phone back to my face. "Damn." Jacob was chuckling. "It's not funny. I don't want to go back. What if they round up a preppy bitch gang and jump me? Try to punish me for ruining Lauren's nose job? I cant handle that. My right hook was purely an adrenaline fueled action; I'm not sure I could do it again!"

"Bella, Bella. Stop. Breathe."

"I know I'm being silly. But honestly, I am worried. I don't want to go back there alone." I sighed. "I wish you could be there with me," I murmured, more to myself then to him.

"Come to school with me," he said cheerily.

"I have to actually live on the reservation, Jake." I said. I pushed off of my mattress and began to pace.

"Fine by me. Move in with us. You can stay in my room," he said, trying to sound all seductive. I couldn't help the small giggle that burst from my lips.

"Down, boy."

There was a pause, and then he spoke again.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Right now? Um... I'm standing in my room. Looking in the mirror at my worry lines. Talking to you." I paused. "Why?"

"Come over," he said.

"Come over?" I repeated. "Now?"

"Why not now?"

"I... guess there's no reason. Okay. What do you want to do?" I asked, grabbing my keys and slipping into my shoes.

"Anything."

We ended up on the beach.

"Surprisingly, I miss this place." I said as I took my shoes off.

"Really? I'd have thought you were sick of it." Jake commented, holding his hand out. I slipped mine into it as he reached across me to take my shoes.

"Yeah. I mean, there was a point where I permanently smelled like seaweed, and my hair was perpetually tangled thanks to the wind, but... this is sort of where we connected. Don't you think?"

He nodded thoughtfully.

"Why did you ask me to come over?" I asked, curious. He shrugged.

"Just wanted to see you," he said, giving my hand a squeeze. I smiled and squeezed back. "And... I wanted to make sure you were okay." he added.

"Okay?" I repeated.

"Yeah. I know you've been through a lot- believe me, I know- and now tomorrow you have to go back to school and I'm sure those girls are going to want a confrontation and I just don't want to be worried out of my mind all day and-"

"Shh, Jake. Your rambling is scaring the seagulls." I said, laughing. He shot me a look that clearly said he did not think the situation was funny.

I pulled him to a stop. Rising on tiptoe, I stretched my neck out, but he still had to crane his own head down so that I could kiss him. For a moment, my mind lingered on the fact that Jacob was getting a lot taller; I don't remember having this much difficulty reaching his lips before.

"You don't have to worry about me, Jake. I was being melodramatic earlier." I said quietly, pulling away and kissing his cheek. "I'm fine. I can handle this."

"And you don't have to lie to me," he said, calling my bluff. "I know you're in complete freak-out mode."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said defiantly.

"No? Bella, your shirt is inside-out. You're chewing your bottom lip off. You've got that cute little crease going on between your eyebrows. Not to mention-"

"Okay, you win! I am in _complete_ freak-out mode. I _don't_ want to go to school tomorrow. I don't want to be stared at and whispered about because not only am I Depressed Bella who got dumped eight months ago, but now I'm Crazy Depressed Bully Bella, the one who punched Lauren Mallory and has a dead mom. But there isn't anything you or I can do about it, so I'd really rather not talk about it, okay?"

He stared at me, then bent to kiss my forehead. "Okay. We wont talk about it."

"Thank you." I said gratefully, and we continued our walk down the shore.

The wind shifted around us, and the downpour began. I looked up at the sky, squinting against the rain drops pelting my face.

"Damn," I muttered, knowing that it wouldn't stop raining until well into the night.

"Come on," Jacob said over the roar of the rain. He began steering me back the way we came.

Lightning lit up the sky, immediately followed by a deafening crack of thunder. I screamed, startled by the sudden noise. Jacob laughed and pulled me closer to his side.

Back at his house I asked him for a dry shirt. He came back with a wife beater.

"This is all I have right now," he said apologetically. "All of my t-shirts are in the washer."

"It's perfect," I said. "Thanks."

In the bathroom I changed, splashed some warm water on my face, and pulled my dripping hair into a ponytail.

I found Jacob in his room, laying on his bed in dry clothes. I joined him, curling into his chest and soaking up his warmth. Absentmindedly he ran his hand up along my arm.

"What happened here?" he murmured when his fingers found the scar. "I noticed it in Phoenix."

"Oh, I don't know," I said quickly, trying not to wince when the hole in my chest twinged painfully. It had been dormant for so long, I had all but forgotten about it. "I could fill at least four books with the stories of all my scars. You really expect me to keep track?" I tried to keep my voice light, teasing.

"Looks like it was pretty gnarly," he commented. I nodded, searching my brain desperately for a change of subject.

"Let's talk about something else," I suggested hastily, placing my hand over his and moving it away. He gave me an understanding look.

"It happened with him," he said. It wasn't a question. I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek as I nodded my head. Stupid scar. Stupid me for not having the stitches removed properly, causing the scar in the first place. Stupid arm-exposing tank top.

"How did you know?"

"It's the only thing you wont talk to me about," he explained.

"I don't like thinking about... that." I replied slowly. "So I don't talk about it."

He didn't reply, just nodded his head. My eyelids began to feel heavy. In my head, I tried to figure out when I had last slept- not since the night before the funeral, with Jake. Couple that with jet-lag and stress, and I was exhausted.

"I should get home before I pass out..." I muttered. I knew I had to get up, but I found I couldn't make myself lift my own head. When Jacob didn't reply, I glanced up to see his expression. He was already fast asleep. Smiling, I cuddled closer to him and shut my eyes. Just a short nap...

When I opened my eyes my head was on a pillow, rather than Jacob's chest.

"Sorry," Jacob said from beside me. "I didn't mean to wake you up. Charlie called."

I blinked a few times and rubbed at my eyes. Jake was propped up on his elbow, smiling down at me.

"What time is it?" I said, stretching. "How long was I asleep?"

"Almost seven. We were both out for about four hours." He yawned as he said this. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

Crap. "What did I say?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Just names. Mine, Charlie." he paused. "Renee."

I decided not to dwell on my mother. "Not so bad. I cant believe this is the first time you've heard it. I can get pretty noisy." I paused. "Speaking of Charlie, what did he say when he called?" I asked, scooting closer to him and snuggling under the blankets. Why must his bed be so comfortable?

"Uh..." Jacob looked a bit sheepish.

"That bad?"

"Just that you had to be home by ten and... that... he hoped we were using protection."

I gasped, and put both hands over my face. "He didn't!" Jacob chuckled.

"I told him we were just taking a nap, but I don't think he believed me."

"Oh, Jake. I'm _so_ sorry." I said, shaking my head. My face was on fire.

"It's okay," Jacob said, unfazed.

"He is so _embarrassing_," I muttered under my breath. Jacob rubbed his thumb along my flaming cheek.

"You're so cute when you blush," he cooed. I rolled my eyes, blushing deeper. He laughed at me, and gave me a kiss. "Come on, I'm starving."

He led me into the kitchen and began making sandwiches.

"I should get home," I said after we had finished eating. He nodded, gulping down a coke.

"I'll walk you out," he said, standing.

"Hey Jake, where's your dad?" I wondered as we walked out underneath his umbrella. The rain was light, but the harsh wind whipped my hair into my face, stinging my eyes.

"Some tribe meeting I think. He left right before Charlie called."

Billy always seemed to be somewhere else. He was certainly very active for a man in a wheelchair.

Jacob opened my door, then shut it after me.

"Are you coming over tomorrow?" he asked, leaning in the open window. With all the wind, his umbrella was rendered useless, so he just closed it tucked it under one arm.

"Maybe. I have to work," I said, sighing. I gave him a kiss, and started the truck. "Bye, Jake."

As he ran back inside I rolled up the window and drove away. That was when I realized that I was going to be truly alone tomorrow.

"Maybe Lauren and Jessica both caught mono. Or they broke every bone in their body in a tragic cheer leading accident, and now they both have to be home schooled." I said to myself as I got into bed that night. Sighing, I closed my eyes, knowing that I wasn't going to get any sleep after that long nap. "Yeah, right. Keep dreaming Bella."

I did dream, but it wasn't about Jessica and Lauren. It wasn't a nightmare, either. It was about lasagna, of all things. I was in the kitchen cutting up oregano and boiling noodles, mixing sauce and spreading ricotta cheese. Behind me was my mother, chattering happily about her latest book club and looking perfectly at ease in my father's dining room. Looking back, I can't recall exactly what it was she had said, or what she was wearing, or the color of her nail polish. But I do distinctly remember her grasping my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye, and whispering "I love you, Bella. Be happy." before hugging me fiercely and walking out the front door.

"Mono. Tragic cheerleading accident. Bad sushi. Herpes of the mouth. A nose job gone wrong." I said all of this to myself as I pulled into the school parking lot, praying one of these might have happened to the preppy bitch gang during my five-day suspension. As I pulled into my usual spot, I contemplated calling myself in sick.

"Don't be a baby," I repeated to myself. "They mean nothing. They are nothing." Best-case scenario: I would be ignored all day, and could make it to work and then to Jake's without anyone getting punched by anyone. Reality: I would be whispered about, pointed at, and would probably leave before lunch.

I walked up the sidewalk, determined not to make eye contact with anyone. I had managed to make it about seven yards when I saw it.

It would have been hard to miss the huge black motorcycle parked in front of the main office.

I instantly spun around, scanning the parking lot for Jacob. I would know that bike anywhere- I had walked past it enough times at his house. It was his bike; I was absolutely positive. So where was he?

Turning back to the motorcycle, I blinked a few times, just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. It was really there. So where was he? I pulled out my cell phone and called him. As the dial tone began, I heard a familiar ring coming from directly behind me.

I whipped around and saw him. He was standing there wearing a smug grin and holding his ringing phone in the air.

"Jake!"

**(A/N): I am truly truly _truly_ sorry that this chapter took nine billion years to post. I wont bore you with the details of exactly why it took forever and a week, but just know that there is a reasonable excuse. The next chapter will be up ASAP- I promise! Review with your comments (:  
I'd also like to take a second to thank my lovely Beta, TheSheWolf. She is amazing. Love you, Twin. Nuff said.  
Lots of love,  
****ECG **


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